From last night's Daily Show: "A humble, obedient Jon Stewart heaps praise upon America's Glorious Leader, Donald J. Trump, and provides an FCC-approved refresher on the rules of free speech in the wake of Jimmy Kimmel's suspension. Plus, the TDS News Team serenades the world's greatest, large-penised leader."
"We're coming to you tonight from a real shithole, the crime-ridden cesspool that is New York City. It is a tremendous disaster, like no one's ever seen before. Someone's National Guard should invade this place. Am I right?
If you felt a little off these past couple of days, it's probably because our great father has not been home. For Father has been gracing England with his legendary warmth and radiance. Gaze upon him with a gait even more majestic than that of the royal horses that prance before him.
He wowed the English with charm, intelligence, and an undeniable sexual charisma that filled their air like a pheromone-packed London fog. And as part of this historic trip, the perfectly tinted Trump dazzled his hosts at dinner with a demonstration of unmatched oratory skill. He didn't have to look down once completely off book as he name-checked his favorite authors from the top of his head.
Previously:
• Jon Stewart delivers blistering analysis of weekend violence, from political killings to Israel-Iran tensions
