You could not write a dumber apocalypse if you tried. Lab monkeys have escaped a research facility in Mississippi, initially reported as carrying infectious diseases. At the same time, the nation's health policy is now being guided by a man who thinks polio cured itself and butter is good for your arteries. Somewhere in a government briefing room, irony has filed for overtime.
The local sheriff's department initially said the monkeys were carrying diseases including herpes, but Tulane University said in a statement that the monkeys "have not been exposed to any infectious agent".
After initially reporting all but one monkey had been killed, the Jasper county sheriff's department said on Wednesday that three monkeys remained at large and were being searched for.
They were being housed at the Tulane University National Biomedical Research Center in New Orleans, Louisiana, which routinely provides primates to scientific research organizations, according to the university.
Guardian UK
Residents are being told not to approach the animals, which is sound advice for primates and politicians alike. America wanted a return to normal; instead, it's getting a mash-up of Outbreak, Idiocracy, and Planet of the Apes. If a virus doesn't kill us, the monkey uprising will.
