Florida Man was selling Trump-shaped ecstasy pills, cops say

You know which part we object to most, dear reader. Read the rest

Florida driver caught by cops for using James Bond-style license plate

A driver from Orange County Florida was dinged by the cops for using a very slick-looking device to obscure his license plate while using a toll road. It would have been the perfect crime, except for one thing: when the driver worked his license plate magic, he failed to notice that there was a police car rolling right up on his back bumper. Read the rest

Florida man with a literal monkey on his back arrested for car theft

Sometimes people steal cars to pay for that sweet lady H, but this fella allegedly stole a car, possibly to keep the monkey on his back in diapers. Read the rest

Florida man goes ape over $4 bundt cake coupon, may lose $204,000 job

Richard Salamon, the city planner for Sunrise, Florida, apparently got so nasty after a bundt cake store wouldn't honor his expired coupon that his job is up for review with city commissioners. Read the rest

Florida Man's wine-fueled nude driveway dance leads to arrest

Florida. Dude decided to dance around naked in his driveway with a bottle of wine. Failed to stand his ground when cops arrived. Florida.

Via the Orlando Sentinel:

A Florida man is in trouble for enjoying a bottle of wine while standing naked in his driveway.

The Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Office says deputies were called to the home of Bobby Hyde, 60, on Sunday evening after a neighbor reported a naked man was hanging out in front of his house near Fort Walton Beach.

“Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Office deputies responding to a complaint of a naked man making lewd movements outside his home found him standing in the driveway with a bottle of wine nearby,” the Sheriff’s Office posted on its Facebook page. “There were no clothes in the immediate area,”

Hyde, who stepped behind a trash can when deputies arrived, told authorities he was just taking out the garbage. He also said it was it was “hot outside.”

(h/t Leo) Read the rest

Police notice alligator foot dangling out of Florida man's car dash, and bust him for killing it

A man in Florida was cited by state wildlife officers for killing an alligator without a permit after an inspection revealed gator body parts in his pickup truck, and the poor dead critter's foot sticking out of the dashboard. Read the rest