Gifts for Lovers in the Death Throes of The American Republic
Share a final candle-flicker of joy before the annihilation begins: Twitter / Facebook.
Silver heart pill container pendant / $100
Compartment will fit 6 small antipsychotic pills comfortably.
Jasmine Absolute Essential Oil / $55
An uplifting, hopeful, and romantic scent. Beautiful as a pick me up, or an aphrodisiac. — Xeni
Personalized End Grain Chopping Block / $190
This personally engraved chopping block is to die for! As you shall, in the brutal civil war portended by the election of Donald Trump.
Square, lightweight plastic flask from Stanley / $15
Sturdy, multicolored flasks that go around the world with you, perfect
for a sneaky V-day cocktail with your sweetie (Previously) — Cory
The Womanizer: comes with a "100% orgasm guarantee"
It's not a vibrator. It's a gadget that suckles the clitoris. Vanessa Marin, a licensed psychotherapist specializing in sex therapy, said it "induces powerful orgasms in a shockingly short amount of time." — Mark
Barry White: All-Time Greatest Hits / $4
Want to set the mood? Here's the soundtrack your evening needs. — Jason
Defenders Mushroom Extract Blend / $35
Say it with shrooms! This is a high-quality Asian medicinal mushroom extract tonic, an exotic blend with purported adaptogenic properties. It may brighten up your brain and help you cope with stress. Chaga, Reishi, Shiitake, Maitake and Turkey Tail. — Xeni
Key Knife / $12
A blade cleverly hidden in a key-shaped handle, which many report having successfully taken through TSA checkpoints — Cory
Crystal Ball / $13
Your loved one might need this to see into the future of our country. Read the rest