“I am America.”

9. 9. 9.

Herman Cain died of COVID-19 today.

Killed by a hoax. Sad.

Herman Cain dies of Covid

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Republican presidential candidate and businessman Herman Cain has died. Hospitalized with Covid since June, Cain attended Trump's disastrous Tusla rally shortly before his symptoms appeared.

We knew when he was first hospitalized with COVID-19 that this was going to be a rough fight. He had trouble breathing and was taken to the hospital by ambulance. We all prayed that the initial meds they gave him would get his breathing back to normal, but it became clear pretty quickly that he was in for a battle.

We didn’t release detailed updates on his condition to the public or to the media because neither his family nor we thought there was any reason for that. There were hopeful indicators, including a mere five days ago when doctors told us they thought he would eventually recover, although it wouldn’t be quick. We were relieved to be told that, and passed on the news via Herman’s social media. And yet we also felt real concern about the fact that he never quite seemed to get to the point where the doctors could advance him to the recovery phase.

The announcement is weird because Cain's been "tweeting" as if nothing was wrong throughout his stay in hospital, a ghoulish and unsettling exercise in social media management that continued until two hours ago.

Review / Logitech MX Keys

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After Herman Cain drew an utter blank when an interviewer asked him how he felt about Obama's handling of Libya, and proceeded to unconvincingly fake a response, Andrew Sullivan rounds up the responses of bloggers around the net, from Cain's supporters and detractors alike.

Drezner invokes the mercy rule:

There's a mercy rule in Little League, and I'm applying it here -- unless and until Herman Cain surges back in the polls again, or manages to muster something approaching cogency in his foreign policy statements, there's no point in blogging about him anymore. I can only pick on an ignoramus so many times before it feels sadistic.

Pamela Geller, who previously endorsed Cain, calls it an "unrecoverable moment":

This is just unacceptable, Herman. ... He is not ready.

Of course, this is just the latest in a string of Cain blunders.

Cain Draws A Blank

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I don't know how Tim Heidecker's gonna top this latest song: "CAIN TRAIN, BABY." Audio's here. Featuring famed voice actor Rich Little.

Heidecker, in case you don't know, is half of "Tim and Eric," and has been cranking out these weird surrealist Herman Cain anti-jingles for a couple weeks now.

Anyway, that's Heidecker, in the sexy photo at left. Follow him on Twitter. And at top, Kevin Ackley made this fan-art homage to the Cain song cycle. An album cover, perchance?

Related: Aaron Preacher whipped up this appropriately surreal fan-video for "Lord Cain," the jingle Heidecker released on Friday night.

Oh, and Herman Cain's sure having a busy day today!

[Video Link] Best "Bad Lip Reading" yet, I'd say.

Herman Cain speaks at the Iowa Faith & Freedom Coalition's Presidential Forum in Des Moines, Iowa October 22, 2011. REUTERS/Brian C. Frank.

Because Herman Cain's actual campaign ads just aren't weird enough:

"Lord Cain," an opus by Tim Heidecker (of Tim and Eric fame), as promised.

Download: MP3, Ogg, and other options here. You should follow Tim's Tumblr.

UPDATE: Dylan Mitchell-Funk created a fan-video. Eric Wareheim sure is looking good these days!

[Video Link, via Tim Heidecker] This one's classic, meaning it came out back in August when no-one was paying attention.

In this performance from 1991, presidential candidate Herman Cain sings (splendidly) a version of Imagine in which the lyrics have been changed to be about pizza. [via Gawker] Read the rest