A beheaded tot, isolated stars, and cure coronavirus with herbs, in last week’s dubious tabloids

If evidence were ever needed that the tabloids are making it up as they go along, this week’s coverage of Prince Harry and wife Meghan serves the purpose.

Coronavirus is the new black. COVID-19 hits the stars and the Royals in this week’s dubious tabloids

It’s the celebrity coronavirus edition in this week’s tabloids.

Coronavirus cured (again), Britain’s Royals clash (again) and the woman who pees alcohol (unprecedented) in this week’s dubious tabloids

In the face of a pandemic of facts, tabloid reporters appear to be self-quarantining to avoid all contact with reality.

Unstoppable plague, Doomsday is here, and Cruel Meghan, in this week’s dubious tabloids

If you weren’t yet panicking about the coronavirus, this week’s tabloids will have you stocking up on Depends adult underwear, toilet tissue and face-masks.

Your dollar bills could kill you, and Prince Andrew tries to kill himself, in this week’s dubious tabloids.

If Prince Harry and Duchess Meghan really want to attain the financial independence they desire, they could do worse than launching a weekly Royal Scandal magazine.

An Epstein tell-all, a vengeful Queen wannabe, and Harry & Meghan’s final insult, in this week’s dubious tabloids

There’s often a logical disconnect between stories and the world they purport to represent in the tabloids, and this week’s offerings are no exception.

Prince Harry begs forgiveness, the Queen shops Prince Andrew to the Feds, and Kirstie Alley’s secret life, in this week’s dubious tabloids

Like sands through an hourglass are the days of Royal lives, as this week’s tabloids continue the gripping saga of the bold and the beautiful behind palace doors.

Bigfoot sighted, the Queen’s $1 trillion tax bill, and coronavirus targets the stars, in this week’s dubious tabloids

Harry Arnold, the legendary Royal reporter for British tabloid ‘The Sun,’ used to tell the story of his meeting with Prince Charles, in which the Royal heir asked incredulously: “Where do you get your stories?”

Harry looked up into the air, as if following an unseen fly buzzing above his head, and suddenly shot his hand out, grabbing at the imaginary insect.

“There’s one,” Harry smiled.

He was joking, one hopes, but this week’s tabloids appear to have taken his words to heart, seemingly crafting many of their stories out of thin air.

"Harry & Meghan Blow Lid Off Royals’ Money Secrets” screams the cover of the ‘National Enquirer,’ which claims: "Windsors Forced to Pay Back $1 Trillion in Back Taxes.”

The self-exiled Royal renegades have allegedly amassed details of the Royal Family's “influence peddling . . . shady business deal . . . offshore bank accounts” that are branded “a total financial grenade” which will evidently be used to exert pressure on the Royals.

Harry & Meghan have “secretly been funneling blockbuster information to their top advisors - exposing decades of dirty dealing from Queen Elizabeth on down!” the ‘Enquirer' claims.

But three sentences into this story the ‘Enquirer,' realizing that it has zero facts and even less logic to back up this allegation, changes tack completely to report that it’s not Harry and Meghan threatening the Royals, but that “Common citizens and members of Parliament are fed up with the Windsors and their spoiled behavior” and that “the royal family has been told by ranking government officials they’ll be forced to pay $1 TRILLION in back taxes.” Read the rest

Predator priests, Game of Thrones, and why Italians don’t use Viagra, in this week’s dubious tabloids

Sexually abusive clergy vie with celebrities in this week’s tawdry tabloids.

Bill Clinton’s party on Epstein’s Lolita Express jet, Two Meghans demand millions, and a very Merry Christmas, in this week’s dubious tabloids

Bait-and-switch headlines dominate this week’s tabloids, with stories failing to live up to their advertised salacious promise.

Megxit Explodes - Who’s to blame? in this week’s dubious tabloids

It’s ’The Sound & The Fury' over at Buckingham Palace these days in more ways than one, as Britain’s royals all have differing perspectives on “Megxit,” while it’s Christmas and July 4th wrapped into one for this week's tabloids.

Side-by-side headlines show British tabloids praising Kate and shaming Meghan about the same thing

It's hard to think of any reason other than racism for the way the British press looks for every opportunity to lambaste Meghan Markle. Buzzfeed News compiled a bunch of side-by-side headlines to contrast the way the two princesses are treated.

Read the rest

Adjectival overload, and the tabloids finally get one right, in this week’s round-up of the rags

Each celebrity has a tabloid quintessence as distinctive as a fingerprint: a pithy descriptor that distills their intrinsic scandal-value for those whose idea of journalism begins and ends at the supermarket check-out.

Penis fish, Simon Cowell’s missing boobs, and Hillary Clinton’s gay flings, in this week’s dubious tabloids

The new decade has brought some remarkable changes to the enlightened, kinder and gentler tabloids.

Royal brawl in palace, Brad & Jen’s reunion, and 2020 predictions in this week’s dubious tabloids

T’is the season when the tabloids look into the future to forecast what lies ahead for a scandal-filled 2020 - and when are they ever wrong?

Killing the Queen, John Lennon’s murder, and William Shatner’s talking horses in this week’s dubious tabloids

The phrase “You couldn’t make this shit up” clearly hasn’t reached the corridors of power at the tabloids, where they can, and do.

The Queen’s worst nightmare, Prince Andrew jailed, and Royal cosmetic surgery exposed in this week’s dubious tabloids

The Royal soap opera continues apace in this week’s tawdry tabloids, increasingly untethered from reality.

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