Killing the Queen, John Lennon’s murder, and William Shatner’s talking horses in this week’s dubious tabloids

The phrase “You couldn’t make this shit up” clearly hasn’t reached the corridors of power at the tabloids, where they can, and do.

The Queen’s worst nightmare, Prince Andrew jailed, and Royal cosmetic surgery exposed in this week’s dubious tabloids

The Royal soap opera continues apace in this week’s tawdry tabloids, increasingly untethered from reality.

End of the British monarchy, FBI’s Epstein cover-up, and Mary Poppins’ orgy, in this week’s dubious tabloids

The British Royal Family is a blank canvas on which the tabloids feel free to paint whatever sordid soap operatic scandals they care to invent.

The trial of the century, Epstein’s killer exposed, and Obama’s hatred, in this week’s dubious tabloids

Hyperbole runs amok in this week’s tabloids, taking implausibility to new levels.

LBJ killed JFK, the Queen’s secret lover & Julia Roberts’ divorce, in this week’s highly dubious tabloids

There’s breaking news, fake news, a news flash, even news you can use, but they all supposedly share one attribute: their information is new.

Johnny Depp dying, Caitlyn Jenner’s baby, and the sexiest man alive, in this week’s dubious tabloids

Russell Crowe is an apt metaphor for this week’s tabloids.

Nipple clamps, squeezed breasts, and a Royal rude awakening, in this week’s dubious tabloids

The misogyny and male-centric myopia that lurks barely beneath the surface of the tabloids is proudly strutting its stuff again this week.

How Mafia Killed the Pope, Meghan & Harry quit the Royal Family, and the Obamas divorce, in this week’s dubious tabloids

Who are you going to believe: this week’s tabloids, or the evidence of your own eyes?

Royal sex & drug scandal, the Queen & Michael Douglas dying, and Miley Cyrus’s demonic possession, in this week’s dubious tabloids

Where would the tabloids be without the British Royal Family?

The multiverse, universal wave function and quantum mechanics in this week’s tawdry tabloids

Burning Man announced that its theme for 2020 is The Multiverse, which seems appropriate for this week’s crop of truth-defying tabloids, which in an infinite number of possible universes might actually be accurate in one of them.

Royal sex scandal lies, lawsuits and hair loss, in this week’s dubious tabloids

Assuming facts not in evidence is a time-honored courtroom objection, and one which could be stamped on almost every page of this week’s tawdry tabloids.

Princess Diana’s killer found (yet again) and Epstein scandal blackmail, in this week’s dubious tabloids.

“Shocking charge blows lid off 22-year cover-up” screams the cover of this week’s National Enquirer. “Diana’s Killer Found!”

Bill Clinton dying, a Hollywood baby boom, and a cross-dressing star outed in this week’s dubious tabloids

There’s a baby boom exploding in Hollywood - but don’t expect to see any of the infants, which exist only in tabloid imaginings.

Royal scandals and the Obamas divorce, in this week’s dubious tabloids

The British Royal soap opera continues with fantastic and implausible plot twists, if you believe this week’s fact-challenged tabloids.

Scientology Sex Scandal, Kennedy conspiracy, and Royal bombshells in this week’s dubious tabloids

You go away to Burning Ban for a couple of weeks of desert heat, wind, dust and EDM-fueled contemplation, and return to find the tabloids in dire need of a personal transformative experience of their own, still spouting the same fever dream imaginings as before.

Drugs, booze and kidnappers, oh my, in this week’s dubious tabloids

Tabloid reporters must live in a constant state of paranoia if this week’s offerings are any indication.

Brad Pitt’s brush with death, Julia Roberts quitting Hollywood, and Christmas kittens, in this week’s dubious ad-packed tabloids

The tabloids are routinely filled with news you can’t use, but it’s intriguing to find that their pages are also filled with ads for products nobody needs.

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