The phrase “You couldn’t make this shit up” clearly hasn’t reached the corridors of power at the tabloids, where they can, and do.
The Royal soap opera continues apace in this week’s tawdry tabloids, increasingly untethered from reality.
The British Royal Family is a blank canvas on which the tabloids feel free to paint whatever sordid soap operatic scandals they care to invent.
Hyperbole runs amok in this week’s tabloids, taking implausibility to new levels.
There’s breaking news, fake news, a news flash, even news you can use, but they all supposedly share one attribute: their information is new.
Russell Crowe is an apt metaphor for this week’s tabloids.
The misogyny and male-centric myopia that lurks barely beneath the surface of the tabloids is proudly strutting its stuff again this week.
Who are you going to believe: this week’s tabloids, or the evidence of your own eyes?
Where would the tabloids be without the British Royal Family?
Burning Man announced that its theme for 2020 is The Multiverse, which seems appropriate for this week’s crop of truth-defying tabloids, which in an infinite number of possible universes might actually be accurate in one of them.
Assuming facts not in evidence is a time-honored courtroom objection, and one which could be stamped on almost every page of this week’s tawdry tabloids.
“Shocking charge blows lid off 22-year cover-up” screams the cover of this week’s National Enquirer. “Diana’s Killer Found!”
There’s a baby boom exploding in Hollywood - but don’t expect to see any of the infants, which exist only in tabloid imaginings.
The British Royal soap opera continues with fantastic and implausible plot twists, if you believe this week’s fact-challenged tabloids.
You go away to Burning Ban for a couple of weeks of desert heat, wind, dust and EDM-fueled contemplation, and return to find the tabloids in dire need of a personal transformative experience of their own, still spouting the same fever dream imaginings as before.
Tabloid reporters must live in a constant state of paranoia if this week’s offerings are any indication.
The tabloids are routinely filled with news you can’t use, but it’s intriguing to find that their pages are also filled with ads for products nobody needs.