Santa Claus holds a monopoly on Christmas spirit that prevents fair competition in the free market. The time has come to break up his oligarchical empire and free the reindeer from the shackles of slavery. Universal Elfcare now!
While plenty of people have evinced a belief that delivering a single speech qualifies Oprah to be president (presumably with Dr Oz as Surgeon General and history's smoothest selljob for invading other countries on flimsy pretenses), the young, motivated Warren-Sanders wing of the Democratic party are a lot less enthusiastic. Read the rest