RIAA streamlines confiscation of customers' life's savings

The RIAA has figured out a cheaper way to intimidate its customers. Rather than suing them by the hundreds, they're offering to "settle" claims with people who are on their radar. So far, their settlements have consisted of confiscating the life's savings of students and the college fund of a twelve-year-old girl.

The RIAA said from now on it would send out warning letters first, allowing suspects to negotiate a settlement before being served with a lawsuit. Those who do not respond within 10 days will be sued.

"In light of the comments we have heard, we want to go the extra mile and offer illegal file sharers an additional chance to work this out short of legal action," RIAA President Cary Sherman said in a statement.