The five-secret-person Department of Education panel that allocates funding for closed-captioning will no longer provide assitive tracks for the deaf to shows that mention witchcraft, including Scooby Doo, Bewitched, and Justice League.
[T]he result of this mysterious panel's deliberations was that the US Department of Education was to declare over 200 TV programs (almost no cartoons, except for things like Prince of Egypt. No more sports. Precious little drama…) were now inappropriate for closed-caption funding…
28 million Americans are now being protected from Sabrina…
Witches of the world, unite! You have nothing to lose but your vertical blanking interval!
(Thanks, Sam!)
