Stories of students dosing their teachers with LSD are a dime a dozen, but a first-person account is rare. The Bohemian, the alt.weekly in California's wine country, ran a cover story this week with a high school teacher's experience tripping balls on a class trip thanks to a mischievous student. Whether it's a true tale or not, it's an entertaining read. From The Bohemian (illustration by Stanley Mouse):
Drugs are a common topic in my classroom. The students have questions and I have answers, and if I can prevent one less overdose or drunken driving death, it's worth it. My students get fucked up. We live in the wine country, and whenever you live in a booze-based economy, kids are going to grow up with issues. Acid, mushrooms, meth, coke, prescription drugs and a whole lot of weed are what the students are into. You would think it would change after 25 years, but it's just the same as when I was in high school.
Max had left a screensaver depicting 12 tabs of Scooby-Doo windowpane acid on one of my classroom computers. I told him to do a research paper on Timothy Leary and quit being such an asshole. I think that's why he dosed me.
By the time I reached Chase Street, I had a pretty good awareness of what was happening. Some of the treetops were dancing in the heat and wind, and my mouth was extremely dry. I went straight to Max, who was walking about 20 feet behind me.
"How you feeling, Mr. Moss?" he said with a smirk.
"Max, this is by far the dumbest thing you've ever done. How'd you do it?" I asked.
"Coffee" he admitted.
"How much?" I inquired.
"Small drop, one to two doses, should keep you going for a while."