Men's Health magazine has done a roundup of the worst — that is, highest-calorie, highest-fat, highest-salt — French fries in America. The champion is Chili's "Texas Cheese Fries with Jalapeno Ranch," clocking in at 1,920 calories, 147g of fat (of which 63g is saturated fat), and 3,580mg of sodium. The whole list is worth a read — as hall of shames go, it's some pretty oily stuff. Our distant descendants will gaze in wonder on this as the 21st-century equivalent of Roman feasts that featured jellied slaves' fat topped with hammered gold and ocelot bile.
The only thing that comes close to redeeming this cheesy mound of lard and grease is the fact that it's ostensibly meant to be shared with a few friends. Even so, you'll collectively be taking in an entire day's worth of calories, three days' allotment of saturated fat, and a day and a half's allotment of sodium. What's even scarier, if you can imagine, is that even if you try to order more sensibly and ask for the "half" order of Texas Cheese Fries, you'll still receive a disastrous dish that packs in 1,400 calories. There's one French fries side dish at Chili's that's acceptable, although even in its much-reduced form, you'd be better off splitting it.
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