Have you ever wanted to plug a USB cable into your bust? Well now you can, thanks to this fancy Smart Electric Rechargeable USB Bra!
A friend recently posted a screenshot of an advertisement they received for this, erm, curious contraption. Which naturally piqued my interest. What, exactly, are you charging?
According to the product listing, the USB rechargeable bra has a built-in vibration massager and heating function. So is it a recreational device? Not quite:
By stimulating circulation, [the vibration massager] helps to sculpt and contour your breasts for a more perfect shape.
[…]
With the combination of heat and compression, [the built-in heater] accelerates the growth and enlargement of your breasts.
(It also boasts a "bra-like ergonomic design," which I find concerning. A bra should presumably be more than simply bra-like.)
There are obviously some very valid uses for breast massaging—lactation, for example, and possibly to relieve symptoms of lymphedema relating to breast cancer. And indeed, one ("definitely real") Amazon reviewer did say that the product "should be good for improved lactation." Though of course, the "should" makes that sound theoretical, and the review offers no other specifics beyond a vague claim of "quick results" in improving fullness. To be fair, stimulation can certainly cause breasts to swell! Which I guess makes this a recreational device after all?
The only other reviews I've found for the USB rechargeable bra complained about poor quality and packaging and lousy construction.
I recognize that we are living in an era when it's cheap and easy to make everything into a smart electronic device. But sometimes it's okay to not make a USB rechargeable bra.
Previously:
• Gadget tells you what that mystery USB-C cable can do
