Introducing Mandroid, Google's remasculating new operating system

Earlier today, Google co-founder Sergey Brin pointed out just how emasculating cellphones were. What self-respecting gentleman would be seen thumbing a flat piece of glass? Wearing Google Glass instead, however: now, that's manly! But what will power this new, insuperably masculine head-garment—and, indeed, rescue your cellphones and tablets from the muliebrous void? Introducing Mandroid, the new testosterone-fueled firmware for all your devices, preloaded with manly apps and issue 186 of Cerebus the Aardvark.

Google Glass Will Make You Manly, Says Sergey Brin [Wired]

Sergey Brin: Smartphones are 'emasculating' [CNET]

Sergey Brin calls smartphones ‘emasculating’ — but dorky Google Glass A-OK [VentureBeat]


    1. Not so much. Actually if anyone owns the term I would say it is Marvel who featured Mandroid power suits built by Tony Stark in Avengers comics in the 70s

  1. What completely amazes me(though it isn’t nearly as amusing as the ’emasculating’ notion, which is just strange) is that old Sergey’s though process, as expressed in public, apparently went something like this “Man, spending a lot of my time staring at my phone actually makes me kind of a socially isolated dickhead. I should attach a tiny screen in front of my eye so I can stare at my phone all the time!”

    1. Not just stare at it all the time, but you have to touch the side of the Google Glasses to scroll. So he is going to have to take one hand off his elephant gun from time to time, given that his other hand is holding a cigar.

      1. Only some kind of eunuch can’t hold a cigar and an elephant gun in the same hand. In fact, if it weren’t for 19th century cartridge technology, a real man would still fire his elephant gun by igniting the powder in the pan with his cigar. 

          1. Speaking of short life, I’m told that the version of “Google Latitude” for Mandroid is actually an augmented reality remake of ‘The Most Dangerous Game’…

    1. +1. Mr Beschizza, I feel compelled to explicitly applaud your fine joke, in case you fear it is too obscure to be worthwhile. It may be somewhat obscure. It is still worthwhile. My laugh was out loud.

    2. Cirinist! But yeah, that was a brilliant reference. Too bad he went insane; Sim could have been really great if he just managed to keep a marginal grip on reality. High Society had all the signs, but everything after that was just a sad chronicle of slow decay.

      1. Decades later, when I think of Elric with a Foghorn, I say Foghorn Leghorn dialect, it still cracks me up.  

      1. Bacon flavoured?

        The odds favour it being a Caol Ila then.

        Although a Glen Scotia, Bunnahabhain or Bruichladdich (especially in its Port Charlotte guise) wouldn’t surprise me there.

        Either way, you ruined a good cigar dripping it in such fine scotch.
        You should have lit it and smoke it whilst drinking them. Far more pleasant…

        But the really important thing here is…

        Mmmmmmmm…. Baaaaaaaaacon…. *drools*

        1. Blue?? Now THAT’S emasculating.

          A Real Man™ doesn’t need a stylus anyway. That’s what your cock is for.

  2. Goes well with a for the complete warrior lifestyle…

    1. …which is why the Glass examples that we’ve seen all attach to one’s face via the yonic “bridge” that straddles one’s nose, rather than piercing your skull with the phallic (and proud) brain probe that Sergey Brin wanted.

      1. You should see Sergey’s Google Glass Headphallus edition:

    1. It was my understanding that the usage should be either “a lagniappe”, signifying a small extra gift, or “for lagniappe”, signifying the fulfillment of the custom of granting a lagniappe?

      But my understanding chiefly comes from Twain, so it may not be the modern usage, and I gladly defer to any current local usage around the gulf coast, although I’ve yet to hear someone actually speak the word in all my travels.

      1. Your usage is the correct one. Looks like it hasn’t changed since Twain.

        I admit, I never use the word, nor have it used around me. Lagniappe, that is.

        Muliebrity is a different story.

      2. Here in New Orleans, lagniappe is part of the everyday vernacular.  Proper syntax and grammar; however, are not.  So the above usage would be entirely acceptable.  There is even a section of the newspaper simply called “Lagniappe”. 

  3. so, if I already feel very manly, and I start using Mandroid, will the “Re”-masculation make me *doubly* masculine?
    Like, Zardosz-level?

      1. Forget those far-fetched “Gay Bombs” the military experimented with, Boob Bombs would be so much more effective. Just think! Countless men rendered useless, utterly distrcted by their newfound anatomy, slowly becoming dehydrated and rashy from unending self fondling!

    1. It is recommended that prior masculation be un-installed prior to re-masculation, as multiple masculations can create conflicts.  Also, your old masculation probably thought that using a smartphone was okay, so you’re better off without it.

      1. Twenty bucks says that the new masculation will use all your system resources and make it impossible to get anything done.

  4. Yeh buddy! Mandroid makes me wanna ogle titties through my hunting-rifle scope behind the wheel of my F350.

    1. Pfft.  Real men drive the F450 supercharged diesel supercab with duallies, Yosemite Sam mudflaps and big-rig style exhaust.

  5. Some day, Oakley will ship Google Glass-equipped shades worthy of Seal Team Six.
    Until then, Google Glass users (male and female) will all be wimpy #Glassholes.

  6. Pardon me.  I’ve lost my phone, have you seen it?  It smells of tobacco, leather, and rich mahogany.

  7. Scumbag Sergey Brin: Releases mobile OS named after desserts and candy, later calls the device “emasculating.”

      1. I’m sorry to have inflicted myself upon you. I had a literal flash of inspiration to make what I considered a “funny”. They can’t all be home runs, but you gotta keeps swinging for the fences. Also, that is a simulacrum and not a photo of my actual penis

  8. Its maps app can discover new continents.
    Its Twitter client never runs out of tokens.
    Its Foursquare app declares you a God-Emperor.
    It is … the Most Interesting Smartphone OS in the World. 

  9. You know what’s manly? Feeling cool about yourself while not really giving a shit what people think about what you’re wearing. 

  10. Cerebus, really?  That goes all the way from being confident in your masculinity to having underlying issues to justify your mysogyny.

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