Spocko sez, "It's nice to know that some companies understand that non-essential federal employees are people too, with needs and wants and not robots that can be shut off with a switch. Thankfully Vibrators.com understands and is giving away free vibrators to Federal Employees during the government shutdown. They are giving away 200 a day. Simply enter the coupon code. 'IAmAFederalEmployee'"
They won't do a background check to confirm you are one, but if you lie they point out, 'Karma will get you.
Note: Congress Representatives, who voted for the shutdown, are all deemed "essential" so are ineligible. But since they are still getting paid, they can afford to buy their own.
I write books. My latest is a YA science fiction novel called Homeland (it's the sequel to Little Brother). More books: Rapture of the Nerds (a novel, with Charlie Stross); With a Little Help (short stories); and The Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow (novella and nonfic). I speak all over the place and I tweet and tumble, too.