童絵解万国噺: a wonderfully bizarre 19th century Japanese fanfic history of America

Japanese historian Nick Kapur unearthed "Osanaetoki Bankokubanashi" (童絵解万国噺), a wonderfully bizarre illustrated Japanese history of the USA from 1861, filled with fanciful depictions of allegedly great moments in US history, like "George Washington defending his wife 'Carol' from a British official named 'Asura' (same characters as the Buddhist deity)." Read the rest

Rescue pit bull pup performs perfectly for treat

“I swear the secret ingredient is crack!” Read the rest

Akita puppy has serious snow addiction

“Maximus the Akita refusing to come inside yet again,” or COCAINE'S A HELLUVA DRUG, you pick. Read the rest

The real Assman was denied his personalized license plate

In another example of life imitating Seinfeld, Melville, Saskatchewan citizen Dave Assman (pronounced Oss-men) applied for a personalized license plate of his last name but the Saskatchewan Government Insurance (like the DMV) put the kibbosh on the request and also his appeal. So Assman created a large decal inspired by the Saskatchewan plate design and slapped it on the rear end (ahem) of his truck. Based on the SGI's Twitter post below, they seem to be ok with that.

"It's just a name and censorship should be out of the window..." Assman said. "It upsets me, but I'm not one of those guys to take offence to it."

(CBC)

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Snap Filter 2019 State of The Union

Oh. My. God. Genius. Read the rest

Friends: The One Where They Are ALL Nicolas Cage

Yes, as seen below, somehow Ross with Nicolas Cage's face makes him look even more like Ross. But now comes the discovery of this lost Friends episode above, "The One Where They Are ALL Nicolas Cage."

(TheAngryStag via r/funny)

Here's the original weirdness:

Ross from Friends with Nicolas Cages face on him just makes him look more like Ross from r/pics
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Satire: No charges for Iowa man arrested after he dressed up as Mr Freeze and shouted nonconsensual polar vortex puns in public

Satire site The Sioux Falls Headliner has a funny alternate-universe story in which an unnamed man was taken into custody after he dressed up as Arnold Schwarzenegger in his role as Mr Freeze in 1997's Batman and Robin, drove to the local Walmart, and stood in the parking lot, hollering cold-weather puns at passersby. Read the rest

'Wall, Actually'

The “three wishes” part is where I lost it. Read the rest

Brilliant video: Wilbur Ross dubbed over Mr. Burns

Watch the video below. As a wise man once said, "God bless America!"

(Thanks, Bob Pescovitz!) Read the rest

That's one way to put leftover IKEA boxes to good use

“Take that, Petsmart, with your overly expensive cat toys!” Read the rest

Trailer for "Beach Bum," Harmony Korine's new weirdo stoner comedy

Writer/director Harmony Korine (Kids, Gummo, Spring Breakers) is back at the shore for Beach Bum, a stoner burnout comedy starring Matthew McConaughey with Snoop Dogg, Isla Fisher, Zac Efron, Jimmy Buffett, Martin Lawrence and Jonah Hill. The trailer reminds me a bit of Pee-wee's Big Adventure if the weirdo protagonist was on Sour Diesel instead of Purple Microdot.

Beach Bum will premiere at SXSW and hit theaters March 22.

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Weirdly compelling game: Which domain name is more expensive?

The Domain Name Pricing Game is surprisingly addictive and rather surreal. I'm terrible at it though.

Martin O'Leary created the game based on an idea by Holly Gramazio.

"Please don't buy any of these domains," O'Leary writes. "They're all terrible and you'd be supporting asshole domain squatters."

The Domain Name Pricing Game (via Waxy) Read the rest

Using pikes to confront and immobilize knife-wielding troublemakers

If American police were trained to do this sort of thing, how could they experience the joy of lethal escalation? [via]

The British police don't use pikes, but they do have ways and means. Read the rest

Trailer for "The Drone," a horror film about a sentient flying drone

The Drone, currently in post-production, is a real movie about a killer drone. From the trailer description:

A serial killer transfers his consciousness into a consumer drone right before he is killed, then flies off to terrorize newlyweds Rachel (ALEX ESSOE) and Chris (JOHN BROTHERTON). The couple must fight to stop the insidious device before it destroys them both.

Director Jordan Rubin is a comedian, his prior film was Zombeavers, and The Drone is obviously a tongue-in-cheek tale. But I kinda wish it was straight-up splatterpunk sci-fi.

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Jerk tries to drive through giant snowman not realizing it was built on a tree stump

Over the weekend in St, Petersburg, Kentucky, Cody Lutz, his fiancee, and her sister built a beautiful 9-foot snowman in their yard. When Lutz returned home from work this week though, he noticed tire tracks on his lawn. From WLWT:

There’s now a massive stump now exposed, with a snowy imprint of a bumper stuck to it.

“You reap what you sow,” Lutz said. “Still standing and still smiling, Frosty certainly had the last laugh!”

(Thanks, Rick Pescovitz/Under the Weather!) Read the rest

Chuck Wendig, Apple Reviewer

Chuck Wendig isn't just a fine novelist, he's also got a discerning sense of what distinguishes good apples from bad, and what elevates apples to true greatness. Read the rest

Big Bill Hell's used cars

I was surprised to learn today that I've never posted the ad for Big Bill Hell's used cars in Baltimore. The omission is hereby rectified.

Previously in Baltimore: Man shouts 'Heil Hitler! Heil Trump!' in Baltimore theater during 'Fiddler on the Roof'

Previously in Cleveland: Read the rest

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