Write the saddest story you can using only 4 words

On February 1, Amy Rios tweeted: "Write the saddest story you can using only 4 words." Since then, the replies have poured in, and they are excellent. Most of them are darkly humorous or sarcastic, instead of just sad.

The last story refers to this recent Jeb speech, where he implored the silent audience to applaud: