From time to time, I lean back in my tattered Aeron chair once rescued from a Bangalore call center's fetid dumpster, inhale deeply from a knockoff Cohiba, and mutter into a lukewarm can of Red Bull, "What a sophisticated, leet lot these BoingBoing readers are."
This is not one of those times.
Following up on a previous BoingBoing post about Target.com selling an item called "Anal Massage," dozens of you gleefully emailed to say you'd spent all night conducting googlevestigation, like so many anal-obsessed Philo Vances packing overheated routers in place of warm pistols. Here's some of the dirt you scraped from the undersides of your gumshoes. Perverts.
BB reader ADM says,
"Mystery solved: A little poking around in the item information for Target's"Anal Massage item reveals an ASIN. This is because Amazon and Target are business partners and ASINs are the unique identifiers used by Amazon. So if you go to Amazon and search for this item's ASIN (B0002KPIBO) you learn that (unfortunately) the item in question is not an actual anal massage, but rather an instructional DVD called "Anal Massage."
Says one reviewer: "It is appropriate for housewives, lovers, massage therapists and everyone interested in deepening the experience of relaxation and pleasure for themselves or for others. The DVD presents an easy to follow hands-on format that is comfortable for all types of viewers." Hands-on and comfortable!
Reader John Todd Larason says,
Target.com is run by Amazon.com, and shares large amounts of code & backend database info. If you take the target.com URL for that item and replace 'target' with 'amazon', (or just take the asin argument and use it directly, ie the url in this link), you get to Amazon's page for the item — a DVD, "Anal Massage for Relaxation and Pleasure" by the New School of Erotic Touch.
jhartnett says, "More anal massage goodness! If you go to target.com home page and type "anal massage" in the search window you get these results. Seems to be a booming business. Link."
Reader Bob Jones (not THAT Bob Jones — uh, I think) says, "Praise the Lord! It appears to be an "Adult Health" title, here's a review: Link." (NSFW warning: cover art depicts giant ass-crack with strategically-poised thumb).
Reader Neil Turner says, "Amazon even offers some 'used' Anal Massage you can buy. Link."
And finally, Music to Anal Massage By? Jeremy K. says, "Just thought I'd let you know, that in addition to the item on Target.com for the Anal Massage, they have a Uranus-Self Anal Massage for M music cd. Crazy stuff going on over there at Target! Link"
Nice work, sleuths. Now — do me a favor. Don't let congress get wind of this, okay?