1971 Spider monkey attack in Bakersfield, CA

Last week's news of the horrific chimp attack here in California has dredged up repressed memories of monkey and ape attacks against people.

I remember the time my sister and I were in a pet store in Boulder Colorado, called the Golden Leash. This was in the early 70s and I was about 10 and my sister was about 6. We were eating those little candy buttons that come on rolls of paper. A small monkey saw the candy and flew into a rage. He grabbed one of my sister's ponytails and yanked he head against the bars of the cage. He reached through the bars with his other hand and stretched his hideous little fingers. He seemed to be saying, "I'm not letting go until you hand over the candy."

I took my sister's candy and gave it to the monkey (I didn't want to give him my candy). He let go of my sister's ponytail and deftly peeled the dots from the paper, licking them frantically, like they contained some kind of miracle nutrient that he needed to eat immediately to survive. Where was the pet store owner during all this screaming and fussing? I have no idea.

Similarly, the publisher of the Bake Town blog wrote a story about the time a monkey attacked her as she was eating a hamburger in her backyard.

As I was … enjoying the first bites of the tasty burger – I was startled by a frightening sight. A Spider Monkey came flying (Wizard of Oz style) over the fence and leaped onto the table RIGHT IN FRONT ME. Baring his tiny, sharp teeth, he began screeching and clawing his boney little fingers at me. Let us all pause for a moment to take in how COMPLETELY terrifying and OUT OF THE NORM this experience would be FOR ANYONE – let alone for a little girl living in small town Bakersfield.

Needless to say, I totally freaked out! I ran into the house and slammed shut the sliding glass door. By this time, with me sobbing uncontrollably, my family joined me at the window. The monkey proceeded to consume my burger, clenched in his tiny fists, while continuing to shriek at us all gawking at him through the window. Now, I know this sounds awful, and crazy, and surreal, but trust me, it gets worse. After devouring my homemade, yummy, BBQd cheeseburger, this animal, THIS BEAST, then began to jump and claw and scratch at the sliding glass door behind which my family and I had taken refuge. He basically tried to attack us – begging for more tasty burgers.

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