Grandpa Pudding Brains has solved another national crisis, announcing that the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool's "criminally made algae" is gone. These are some criminals.
This is the purest Grandpa Pudding Brains material of the weekend because it has everything: a self-inflicted "beautification" project, a blue coating science recommends against, algae doing algae things, Trump inventing villain lore for a puddle, and the federal government pretending the president's personal pond tantrum is infrastructure policy. Dude still refuses to admit he drove a motorcade over it.
The Orange Menace posted a 594-word rant about his D.C. renovation tour, blaming "Radical Left Vandals" for Reflecting Pool damage while also discussing Lafayette Square renovations, 47 maple trees, and a planned redesign of East Potomac Golf Links. The man took a weekend tour of monuments and somehow came back with a municipal fever dream about criminal algae, self-tribute trees, and golf course destiny.
Photosynthesis has not yet responded to the president's allegations.
Previously:
• Grandpa Pudding Brains pours peroxide into the Lincoln Memorial Algae Farm
• Grandpa Pudding Brains is hunting for vandals in his $14.7 million algae farm
