At Arlington National Cemetery, in a speech ostensibly honoring Americans who died in military service, Donald Trump somehow veered into a strange little stand-up routine about how many of the… Read the rest of the article: Grandpa Pudding Brains pauses Memorial Day tribute to workshop a joke about dead soldiers named Donald
Next week's breakthrough: why "knife" starts with a K. In the middle of calling someone stupid, Donald Trump took a detour into what appeared to be a fresh personal revelation… Read the rest of the article: Grandpa Pudding Brains: "Most people don't know dumb has a B"
The Louvre is giving the Mona Lisa her own dedicated exhibition space, a move that should dramatically improve conditions both for art lovers and for the daily migrating herds of… Read the rest of the article: Louvre creates containment zone for people who only came to selfie with Mona Lisa
Doctors are pleading with men to stop injecting assorted fluids into their testicles for social-media masculinity cred, which feels like the sort of sentence that should never have needed writing.… Read the rest of the article: Experts warn men not to turn scrotums into septic DIY water balloons
Somewhere inside the neural net is apparently a very determined salmon. Waymo has reportedly suspended robotaxi operations in yet another city after one of its autonomous vehicles drove directly into… Read the rest of the article: Waymo's autonomous taxis remain strangely drawn to floodwater
After months of treating its 2024 election autopsy like the Ark of the Covenant, the Democratic National Committee has finally released the document, only for it to emerge as a… Read the rest of the article: Democrats finally release 2024 autopsy, somehow forget to examine the body
Nothing says law-and-order presidency like a possible rebate program for political violence. Having offered up a scheme that seats Donald Trump more as a comic book criminal and less like… Read the rest of the article: Police sue to stop Trump's apparent Jan. 6 loyalty rewards scheme
The truly confident man, as we all know, must periodically explain his confidence to Jesse Watters. Stephen Miller dropped by Jesse Watters' ongoing televised symposium on fragile masculinity to explain… Read the rest of the article: Trump's ghoul boasts of massive imaginary fan club during Fox News masculinity pageant
The baffling part isn't that he did it again; it's that he was in a position to. Nathaniel Radimak, the notorious Los Angeles Tesla road-rage attacker whose violent confrontations became… Read the rest of the article: LA's Tesla road rager gets 7 years after taking his act to Hawaii
Turns out "becoming Idaho" gets less exciting once someone mentions wages, infrastructure, and math. The long-running dream of peeling conservative chunks off Oregon and gluing them onto Idaho just lost… Read the rest of the article: Small potatoes: Oregon county backs away from Greater Idaho fantasy
"What could he possibly be hiding?" is, admittedly, not the reassuring question we're all thinking. While Todd Blanche was apparently busy testifying before the Senate about other matters, the Justice… Read the rest of the article: DOJ quietly slips Trump what looks a lot like permanent audit invisibility
This is what happens when you do not care. Everything about this image says "wow, AI really went nuts here!" and not "we should use this to represent the United… Read the rest of the article: Incredible AI slop from the Department of Education
The real question here is what speech or words are being displayed on the teleprompters, as convicted felon, real estate fraudster, and over 26 times credibly accused of sexual assault,… Read the rest of the article: Grandpa Pudding Brains free associates a commencement address
"Numerous water safety violations" is a spectacular phrase when discussing a pickup truck. A Texas man reportedly looked at Tesla's "wade mode" feature, absorbed whatever meaning he wished from those… Read the rest of the article: Tesla Cybertruck owner, intending to test "wade mode," learns about "sink mode"
In what appears to have been a pilot program for "colonialism, but make it weirdly condescending," Trump emissary Jeff Landry reportedly tried to win over Greenlanders with MAGA merch and… Read the rest of the article: Greenlanders offer Trump envoy the universally understood finger gesture for "no to annexation"
The AI boom has discovered rural America, where struggling towns are being promised salvation in the form of enormous data centers, industrial temples to machine learning that reportedly create far… Read the rest of the article: AI's giant rural job machine mostly appears to manufacture hype
In a move that confirms the internet is no longer a youthful experiment but a fully historicized source of collective psychic damage, the British Film Institute has officially preserved Badger… Read the rest of the article: The UK has formally declared Badger Badger Badger worthy of preservation
There's something weirdly comforting about a machine that openly admits what most modern social interaction quietly is: repetitive, performative courtesy generated by rote mechanism and low-grade obligation. It's less a… Read the rest of the article: Fake courtesy machine automates the modern art of insincere politeness
Even ancient doctors occasionally lost patients to weather-related scheduling conflicts. New scans suggest one of Pompeii's ash-preserved fugitives was likely a Roman doctor, discovered clutching what appears to be his… Read the rest of the article: Dr. Pompeii, Dr. Pompeii! Emergency! Come right away!
Somewhere, irony quietly packed a bag and left the country. Sycophant JD Vance has apparently embraced the timeless political strategy of angrily denouncing the very governing apparatus you currently inhabit,… Read the rest of the article: JD Vance attacks "crazy leadership in Washington" from his convenient seat inside Washington leadership
