EatMeCrunchy cereal bowl keeps everything dry while you pick at your breakfast

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34 Responses to “EatMeCrunchy cereal bowl keeps everything dry while you pick at your breakfast”

  1. hjo3 says:

    Might not be the best idea to talk about other people being retarded if you’re going to use terms like “electrical static.”

  2. cycle23 says:

    Extraneous ‘e’ and just the way I like to say electrostatic, but I figur’d you’d be picky. Why not pick on oughta? It’s not like this thang doesn’t underline for me, it’s just that I have more fun than you.

    I don’t buy your Hughes-esque problems with paperboard milk cartons.

    PS: tilt the bowl, if anyone got past the horrid, horrid English and to the point of my response.

  3. cycle23 says:

    Oh yeah, and it’s a known fact that the paper fold carton made a considerable comeback in the late 80s and through the 90s due to the knowledge that FLORAL ESSENCE LITES were LEEEEECHING the VITAL FLUIDS from the milk.

    Wait.. this isn’t fark?

  4. cycle23 says:

    I had to return to this after watching some crazy woman eat tuna after shoving her cat off the table. I love t3h intarnas. Oops. I keep forgetan me English.

    If they don’t make it so the little shelf is simply fit into the bowl after you put in the milk, and is removable, I’ll agree with Bricology on that point.

  5. cycle23 says:

    goddamn. You’d think that a farking cereal bowl wouldn’t get me this way. I don’t even eat cereal. I avoid milk, including soy. I don’t buy the bones thing. I eat veggies. I’ll die from something else, trust me.

    But damnit, I UNDERSTAND THIS PRODUCT. sort of. It’s not that you want the bowl of cereal to be extant from t3h milx. You want just that part to be separated. It’s just a fetish. I’m telling you, as a kid, I mushed the cereal into one part of the bowl, the wet part, and spread other parts of the cereal to the other side of the bowl, the dry part. I’d separate, combine, and generally muck about with this arrangement, learning, the process about ELECTRICAL STATIC and GRAVITY and wetness and taste and maybe even some chemistry.

    My parents used plastic milk cartons and all the FLORAL ESSENCE LITES have LEEEEEECHED out my VITAL FLUIDS.

    I’m super serial.

  6. davidmaguire says:

    I wonder if any cereal gets into the milk resevoir, It could be difficult to clean. Good thing I hate cereal.

  7. bricology says:

    You’re having too damned much fun; it’s keeping me awake.

    Bring on the cereal killer!

  8. Chevan says:

    Am I the only person who puts in enough milk to almost cover the cereal?

  9. David B. says:

    I was wondering when my various early morning crunchy needs would be streamlined… It’s about time!

    David B.

  10. Simon Greenwood says:

    Randy Waterhouse is buying a box of these as I write.

  11. gurglegurglegurgle says:

    For those concerned, the shelf IS apparently removable for washing purposes:

    http://www.gray-matter.co.uk/eatmecrunchy.php

  12. coffeeman says:

    Is it time for the Wiseman to stop the nonsense and just say: whoever came up with that “cereal bowl” will certainly make millions of dollars from those who really think this is a “cool idea”.
    I just need to be WISER and come up with something like that ….. I can use a million or two.

  13. Pigwooly says:

    I actually stopped eating cereal for years, because I can’t stand it if it’s the slightest bit soggy. Call me weird, call me OCD, I just hate soft mushy food for some reason.

    So it would seem this product was designed for people like me. But, I also only like cereal if there’s a lot of milk in every spoonfull and this seems hard to accomplish with this design.

    My solution: I poor a big bowl of milk, then I poor a little bit of cereal on top of the milk, eat it immediately and poor a little more. I repeat this absurd process until my breakfast is done. It’s been working great and I’ve been a cereal eater for the last 3 years thanks to this method.

  14. absimiliard says:

    I’m with Chevan. If I’m eating cereal at all it’s gonna be Grapenuts. (Mmmmmm . . . . twigs and gravel . . . . tasty!)

    And when I eat Rocks’n’twi. . . . I mean Grapenuts I want to see ‘em swimming in milk. Butterfly, backstroke, even the Crawl is fine, but damnit, they’d better be swimming or I’m adding more milk.

    -abs

    (and they’re better after they soften a bit anyway)

  15. Anonymous says:

    I love this product! I have an 19 month old and a 4 year old. There is nothing worse than sitting down with your bowl of cereal and having one of the kids yell mommy and then return to a bowl of inedible mush.

  16. Harisn says:

    The clear solution here is to use a normal bowl and eat the cereal as fast as humanly possible so that it doesn’t get soggy.

  17. Crankfetter says:

    70% of your base are belong to us!

  18. dallas says:

    This bowl reminds me of that bit in Cryptonomicon by Neal Stephenson where it takes him six pages to eat a bowl of Cap’n Crunch as he ponders his ideal milk/cereal time ratio. The full section is available here: http://soquoted.blogspot.com/2007/01/eulogy-for-hauntingly-sad-naval.html

    Here is the specific part:

    World-class cereal-eating is a dance of fine compromises. The giant heaping bowl of sodden cereal, awash in milk, is the mark of the novice. Ideally one wants the bone-dry cereal nuggets and the cryogenic milk to enter the mouth with minimal contact and for the entire reaction between them to take place in the mouth. Randy has worked out a set of mental blueprints for a special cereal-eating spoon that will have a tube running down the handle and a little pump for the milk, so that you can spoon dry cereal up out of a bowl, hit a button with your thumb, and squirt milk into the bowl of the spoon even as you are introducing it into your mouth.

  19. DragonPhyre says:

    What. The. Fsck.

    It’s cereal people. Get a grip.

  20. kip w says:

    Indeed, a solution in search of a problem. I generally put a middling small amount cereal in a cup, then pour in milk and eat it right away, in order to enjoy the interface of crisp cereal and cold milk.

    Someone who fills a big bowl with cereal and covers it with milk is getting what they deserve, either because they like it that way, or because they can’t figure out why it’s not the way they want it to be.

    Next week: a protective helmet for people who can’t figure out how to stop hitting themselves on the head with a 2×4.

  21. timothy says:

    Cycles, your posts make for enjoyable reading, even if you did call me a pinhead. As I often ask, when confronted with someone whose cereal is a minefield of static electricity:

    What kind of cereal do you eat?!?

  22. mrfitz says:

    “Eat me Crunchy” is such a catchy phrase, it has to work.

  23. june says:

    I like my cereal soggy.

  24. cycle23 says:

    Those who are stating “solution in search of” crap are pinheads. They’d say the same thing about velcro.

  25. hjo3 says:

    If anyone actually likes their cereal that dry (I don’t), it seems like it’d be more effective to design a spoon that could inject a tiny bit of milk into each bite.

  26. boombox says:

    well..i don’t know..i always liked when the milk made the cereal mushy…i dont like crunchy things…why the milk in the bowl, if you dont want it to touch the cereal? you might as well have it in a cup, and eat the cereal by your hands :) but at least it has a nice minimalistic design. *thumbup*

  27. bour3 says:

    This invention totally rocks. It beats refilling the bowl in small amounts of cereal and milk back and forth to maintain the proper degree of cereal soakosity. The elevated portion should ramp down to the milk like a plastic turtle habitat. Sign me up for a couple of these so I can cycle them through the dishwasher.

  28. bricology says:

    Ah, another triumph of design over a nonexistent problem. First, this would be very difficult to actually use — to be able to mix the dry spoonful you’re about to eat with the milk that’s underneath the rest of the cereal (or to dredge up spoonfuls from underneath). Second, how would one clean the area that’s underneath the “shelf”? That would be a prime breeding ground for bacteria. Why don’t designers dedicate themselves to something really useful — like a pour spout that screws onto milk/soymilk carton openings, which will not drip or spew milk everywhere the first time it’s used?

  29. cycle23 says:

    My turn. If you are so retarded you can’t figure out on your own how to cordone your milk to one side of the cereal while the other side stays perfectly dry, you oughta try learning a bit more about gravity and electrical static.

    And if you can’t bend back paper to make milk pour, you fail.

  30. freshacconci says:

    The idea was clearly stolen from this:

    http://www.leftfield.org/~scott/misc/toilet.htm

    (If you’ve ever been to Germany, you know).

  31. Chris L says:

    Ah see, there IS a dire problem that this bowl solves. Many of you can’t see it, because obviously you tend eat breakfast like a grown person should: in one go. I, though, am a procrastinator. And I’m notorious for ignoring my food for several minutes doing something else. By the time I get back, my cornflakes are soggier than Cap’n Ahab’s socks. And thats… just… not… right.

    Oh, and was anyone else disappointed that this was not an article about see-thru cross-sectioned cereal bowls?

  32. bricology says:

    “Cordone”? “Electrical static”? Sorry — English, please.

    As for “bending back paper to make milk pour” — things have moved on since the ’60s, chum. Most cardboard containers of milk and soymilk have screw-top openings, which are much more sanitary than soggy, non-sealing ends. But because they’re poorly designed and situated, they simply replace one problem with another. Back to square one, please.

  33. outlanderssc says:

    I eat my cereal dry, right out of the box, with a glass of milk to wash it down -

    The ultimate in milk control systems.

  34. anthropomorphictoast says:

    Why not just eat dry cereal with a glass of milk? >_>

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