Winter wonderland was a dump
Hundreds of people are furious because the Lapland New Forest, a winter wonderland theme park near Dorset, England , wasn't what they were promised when they bought tickets. According to the BBC, the Lapland New Forest Web site (currently down) advertised the place as a "magical scene" featuring a snowy setting of log cabins, a nativity scene, huskies, and a "bustling" Christmas marketplace. Judging by the photos on the BBC News site, it was actually a dump. From the BBC News:
"Hundreds slam Lapland Park 'scam'" (Thanks, Joel Johnson!)April Chantler, of Dibden Purlieu, Hampshire, described the park as "hell".
"The huskies were chained up in a pen howling, yapping and generally looking thin and unhappy.
"The two reindeer were obviously not enjoying their surroundings and the 'log cabins' were a few green painted sheds with more or less nothing in them."
Grace Tyrrell, of Fareham, Hampshire, said there were many health and safety issues and that the toilets were "full to the seat" leaving her six-year-old daughter "disgusted".
"The entire day was a joke, and I know everyone else thought so," she said.
"The nativity scene (photo left) was a picture on a painted wall which was viewed from a distance and which had everyone we met laughing."
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This sounds like something The Simpsons would run into.
There's something especially sad about crummy carnivals (aka "fun fairs").
Well, that just made me sad, especially the part about the thin and unhappy huskies.
I hope I am not the only person who read that story and IMMEDIATELY went to check out fares from the US to the UK. It sounds soooooo much more entertaining than a real winter wonderland.
"Full to the Seat..."
Oh, sweet Jesus.
Even if it had been high-quality, the prices quoted seem absurd. Someone spent $700 there in one day? Are things really that expensive in Britain?
And now a word from our sponsor, "Big Bag o' Glass."
http://snltranscripts.jt.org/76/76jconsumerprobe.phtml
Actually, this is so sad that it's actually very funny. Not for the people who paid, of course.
That's sadlarious.
My favorite line of the article was "Mr Mears, who organises the park's marketing and advertising, added he was "bemused" by the complaints." Yes. Bemused. That's the best attitude to have when hundreds of people are decrying your attraction as a scam.
And then of course this brilliant double negative from Henry Mears: "'What is not here that we haven't advertised?' he added."
Save your pennies and go to the actual Lapland for the real deal.
http://www.visitfinland.com/W5/index.nsf/(Pages)/Rovaniemi_the_Christmas_Capital_of_the_World?opendocument&np=A
Sounds like a visit would be a most "educational" experience.
Could be seen as a clever comment on global warming, though...
Speaking of Laps, where does yours go when you stand up?
Ahh, this lovely scene with the a fake polar bear looking as if he's saying "You paid how much?" and I wonder just what does it take to please these folks?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/shared/spl/hi/pop_ups/08/uk_lapland_new_forest/html/7.stm
Also, how does one become a professional troublemaker? Do you have to wait for someone to tell you, "Hey, you're good kid. Ever think of going pro?".
It's a tractor pull without the tractors.
this way to the egress
Mmmmm. Chicken-fried egress.
Maybe it's all a front for a husky / reindeer sex show.
This sounds like the scam (that I vaguely remember) in Huckleberry fin. The scam was so outragous that the bet was those who were scammed would never tell others because they were so embarrassed. Of course the scam failed that the Dauphin and his partner were tarred and feathered and run out of town on a rail.
Hark the Herald Tribune sing advertising wondrous things, God rest ye merry merchants may ye make the yuletide pay. Angels we have heard on high tell us to go out and buy.
All that from the genius of Tom Lehrer. And that's exactly what I think of here. Greedy assholes out to make a quick buck off people's most cherished beliefs. Ripping people off about a celebration of the Savior of humanity's birth. That's ethics right there.
mere words cannot describe the awesome! WOW! This is truly a winter wonderland, the foundations of our economy are solid, oh and I am an astronaut! XD
I love how they are being very true to the medieval meaning of the word "forest" in England. As in, it is a specific royal designation, and there doesn't have to be any trees.
But really. Who goes to one of these things and expects a "Lapland Winter Wonderland?" It's not like they can transport you through time and space to a place with real winter.
Sounds like a disaster, though.
BTW almost forgot to mention this happened to me before! we planned to go camping out near the beach in the 'picturesque', 'tree shrouded', 'natural wonder', pristine & clean "camp grounds" in ventura county (California). we arived late at night camping gear in tow, as we drove up to the park booth to recieve our parking permit & assigned campground area our buddies got out of the car to stretch their legs and answer natures call in the most "natural way possible". after we had paid & signed our paperwork well past 11pm our buddies returned laughing uncontrollably, as it turns out this was no normal campgrounds as my friends politely pointed to the endless number of vagabond homeless people, pot smokers & crack heads walking by. too tired to argue we decided to look for our designated camp area and pitch our camp, a 15 minute hike later revealed we were actually assigned the lot right behind the overpass for the 5 freeway, we quickly set up our tents got out our sleeping bags and angrily fell asleep despite the 18 wheelers rumbling by. first thing early morning i got up packed my bags loaded the tent and decieded to give my friends dad a "friendly" talking to for planing out our trip, as it turns out he had been duped just as we were, we left all the planning to him and he picked the campgrounds based on a shiny brochure he found at the airport welcome to california stand, inside this beutifull brochure we saw how "beutifull" the untouched wilderness at the west ventura campgrounds would help us reconect with natetrue and recharge out batteries in a relaxing stress free atmosphere at a "state of the art recently remodeled campsite". the pictures didnt lie beutifull mountains, clean new restrooms with shower facilities, a park where small children could play on a swing set, even a rec room with pool table. unfortunately these pictures had been taken in the seventies. they did indeed have a restroom with showers unfortunately it did double duty as a residence for an untidy homeless man, they also had a park with a swing set, i knew this because i had been offered meth the night before while sitting on one of the swings, they did have a rec room much to my relief but all the balls were gone (except for the white one) the windows were blown out and the only remaining pool stick had been whittled down to a shank (or it was broken i couldnt tell). it wasn't all bad we swiftly packed our bags and went for a swim for a few hours at the beach until i got a rash on my legs, i dismised it as sunburn so we put on our clothes cuz we were hungry as we drove up the road looking for a restaurant we noticed that we had been swimming less than a mile away from a sewer drain just north of where we were. it wasnt that bad we left with hilarious memories, a valuable lesson for life and a rash that refused to go away for a week (which was a constant reminder of a good time as always). its been 8 years since and im still itching to go back and see what happend to the place! :D
Those sheds are totally cleveland steampunkers.
Isn't Lapland somewhere in San Andreas?
The English "Telegraph" has the story too - http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/3543914/Santa-and-three-elves-attacked-at-fake-Lapland.html
They say Santa was punched by an angry customer and three of his elves attacked.
#13 the funny thing about that fake polar bear is that we don't have any polar bears here in Finland. I really would like to know who made up the idea originally..
Radio 4 listeners will no doubt be reminded of The Grundy World of Christmas.
Somehow this reminds me of my favorite mitchell & webb sketch, flamingo world (@4:10)
Leave it to the Sun to come up with the best headline - "It's Slapland"
"Horrified staff also told how two dads brawled in the Gingerbread House over the last spoonful of ICING SUGAR. And kids sobbed after catching Santa behind his grotto with his beard off having a cigarette."
There's something about this kind of scam / poor attempt at a business that always makes me deeply sad - especially when there are kids, and their hopes, involved. (And can you imagine being, say, a working class parent, who had saved up money for a month or two just to show your kids a good time?)
I hope the RSPCA are standing by on the reindeer and huskies for when the place gets closed down...
#29: "The Sun", "headline" and any adjective with even vaguely positive connotations are not a combination of words I would choose to use in the same sentence.
I'm guessing they're trying to imitate (read: scam off of) the success of Bewilderwood, which opened last year and is supposed to be great.
The site is back up WITH pictures.
And yeah, they're totally misleading.
But if my interpretation of the Olde Legends & Prophesies is correct, if you stick around this place, you could witness Santa Claus meeting his dear friend the Ice-Cream Bunny!