DC-area county official says TSA patdowns are "homosexual agenda"

The crazy, it burns: Loudon County, VA Board of Supervisors representative Eugene Delgaudio says TSA patdowns are part of the "homosexual agenda": "It's the federal employee's version of the Gay Bill of Special Rights... That means the next TSA official that gives you an 'enhanced pat down' could be a practicing homosexual secretly getting pleasure from your submission." (Thanks, Frank!)

I write books. My latest is a YA science fiction novel called Homeland (it's the sequel to Little Brother). More books: Rapture of the Nerds (a novel, with Charlie Stross); With a Little Help (short stories); and The Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow (novella and nonfic). I speak all over the place and I tweet and tumble, too.

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tessuraea

A “practicing” homosexual, huh? Not the accomplished sort?

Slightly more seriously, much as I enjoy groping women, I only like it if they like it too. Consent. It’s this thing I care about…

One of these years something negative and vaguely sexual will hit the news and people won’t line up to blame it on the queers. I know, I know, I’m an optimist…
Murphy’s Lawyer

Since the TSA patdowns came in, the blogosphere has had its share of folk going, “I know, wouldn’t it be fun for us and humiliating for the TSA goons if we made suggestive and lewd comments when they touched our junk, or took two Viagra an hour before going through the scan?, and we all laughed.

Now a group (for reasons however misguided) seems to have taken the joke too far for us.

Perhaps we should reconsider what’s funny; and at what point it becomes just cruel.
Chocolatey Shatner

Just to be serious for a moment: I’m gay, I have to fly in about a month, and I am actually kind of concerned about going through the screenings this time. I definitely do not want to go through the rapiscan (am the only one who hears it in my head as “rapey-scan”?), and gay conspiracy theory to contrary, I’m not actually excited about the idea of strange men touching my body. Do I have ANY other options?
- Anonymous
  
  Well, you could try saying that you’re gay and that you don’t want a man other than your significant other touching you and see if you can get a woman to do it, since you have a valid psychological reason. Have any stories you might have about childhood abuse or bullying ready. Aside from that, you just have to waive your right to freedom of movement.
  
  This kinda makes me glad to be unemployed and not living in America. I ain’t flying nowhere and won’t have the money to do so for a long time.
Anonymous

I live in Loudoun Co VA (with 2 U’s :)), and this guy is a well-known crackpot. He once claimed we didn’t need to support local agriculture because he never saw any cows in his neighborhood. Hopefully, this new attention will ensure he doesn’t get re-elected.
Cybe

I figure next time I’m going through security and ask for the pat down, if any words are exchanged, I will look at the TSA agent and say “trust me, this is probably way more uncomfortable for you than for me”. I have a feeling that they would find some way to stop me due to that though.
benher

I’m sure homosexuals everywhere are twiddling their mustaches muttering “Curses! Foiled again!”
- Anonymous
  
  “I’m sure homosexuals everywhere are twiddling their mustaches “
  
  …so that’s what the kids are calling it these days.
james4765

Ugh. Feeling up middle aged straight guys. Who the hell thinks that’s fun?
- lectroid
  
  “Ugh. Feeling up middle aged straight guys. Who the hell thinks that’s fun?”
  
  I hope to hell SOMEONE does, or I’m going to be very upset.
Anonymous

Good grief. I’m sure that gay TSA agents really enjoy fondling middle aged fat men.

Give me a break, this guy is a moron.
ill lich

Sexual enjoyment is a two-way street; I bet it’s not just the TSA guys getting off. Or at least the number of people I’ve seen who seem to gravitate towards the most crowded subway cars would have me believe that.
ToMajorTom

I’m getting sick and tired of the Homosexual Board of Directors developing and executing an Agenda but failing to inform all of us members. Seems to happen quite regularly.

I may denounce my association and join the Moose Lodge instead.
sapere_aude

To quote Daniel Dennett, “There’s nothing I like less than a bad argument for a view I hold dear.”

I am adamantly opposed to the TSA’s new screening policies on civil liberties grounds. There are very good arguments to be made that the use of body scanners and “enhanced” pat downs at airports represent a clear violation of the Fourth Amendment’s protections against unreasonable searches and seizures. Unfortunately, over the past few weeks I’ve heard lots of bad arguments against the TSA’s new screening policies. This has to be the worst.

It’s bad arguments like this that end up discrediting perfectly reasonable positions. Now, defenders of the TSA’s screening policies will certainly start to accuse all of their critics of being homophobic reactionaries, just like this halfwit. It makes me sick.
Hools Verne

I was going to make a joke about airport mens rooms and government officials, but the crystallization that homophobic people (and I mean the ones who are truly scared of queers) see the “gay agenda” as a threat to their personal safety on the level of communist spies in the 50s just made me sad.
Akheloios

Curses, another plan foiled! We’d have gooten away with it too if it wasn’t for those meddling wingnuts and that damn dog.
Emmerich

Just a homophobe throwing out homophobic banter wherever there’s a possibility. Racists do the same thing. I say we just ignore people like this, who are obviously delusional, or, you know, not put nuts in power.
AbleBakerCharlie

Just goes to show that in a universe of random variation, even the looney will eventually pass within shouting distance of a truth or two.

And to think I was getting excited about the public hatred for the antics of the TSA. “Finally,” I thought, “The American public gets it- that the national terrorism freakout I’ve been arguing against for a decade, with its steadily ratcheting grip on civil liberties and sound foreign policy, in the Siphysian pursuit of impossible levels of security against statistically minute threats, with an eye towards feeding defense contractors and putting an a show for a rabid public, was a terrible notion! The airport security theaters will shutter, and the wiretaps will end, and Gitmo will close, and the drones will leave Pakistan, and the brave grownups will be left in charge! Hooray!”

…and then it turns out it is not part of that show at all, but instead an episode of Americans Freak Out About Genitals.
- MrsBug
  
  I love this post, just so you know. Brilliant.
Phikus

“Damn! They’re onto us. EVERYONE: BACK IN THE CLOSET. I REPEAT: BACK IN THE CLOSET!”
tessuraea

Practicing homosexuals… makes it sound like we’re either rather bad at it, or it’s a profession. Sadly, no one is paying me to be gay. Or to act gay. And… I don’t think I’m particularly bad at it…

Seriously. One of these years something negative and vaguely sexual will be in the news and gays won’t automatically be blamed for it. Or maybe I’m just an optimist… a somewhat bitter optimist.
TheCrawNotTheCraw

If it bothers you that you are being patted-down by a person of the same sex, tell them you are gay, and want a TSO of the opposite sex.

You’ll still be felt-up, but at least you can “enjoy” it a little more. :-)

If this works, I may tell them that I’m multi-sexual, and require the attentions of several TSOs. Might as well turn the damn experience into an orgy.
- Waltb555
  
  That’s an amazing idea. Everybody should do this. Someone needs to, at least, try it to see what would happen. Any volunteers?
flameworker

I think Delgaudio should disclose his frequent flyer miles…
Phikus

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r38x6mHfnwU