By Cory Doctorow at 3:00 pm Sun, Feb 24, 2013
Just look at it.
Ham and Bananas Hollandaise
OH MY GOD. I inherited a stack of these cards. Each of the recipes are more gruesome than the last
We have a card in our house from my mother in law that seems to match this. It’s for Chicken Waikiki—basically breaded chicken in a pineapple sauce with rice—and it was actually pretty good.
That said, now I need to find the set where it came from and explore these horrors.
So, basically “lemon chicken” but pineapple instead of lemon. Sounds and pretty sane, as far as a sugar-based chicken sauce goes :D
More or less. I’d eat it again, for what it’s worth.
Hey, don’t knock it ’til you’ve — You know what, I can’t finish that with a straight face.
If you made this with plantains and real hollandaise, it might be ok, but it would still look weird.
I was imagining that the bananas used in this recipe were intended to be extremely green and starchy (i.e. more like plantains), but even so, I can’t imagine this would be very tasty.
A lot depends on the presentation. You have to be sure and use chrome plates when you dish it up to your guests.
You know the old saying: There’s no plates like chrome for the hollandaise.
That deserves a like
Have you ever had Hollandaise sauce in your eye? It burns. IT BURNS
Er, no actually. I try my hardest not to get my face in the way of hollandaise sauce when it’s being poured onto food. But hey, that’s just the way I roll.
Not sure about the ‘holy’ part.
Holy mother of hurl.
Ham and bananas..this is not what I expected.
It’s worse than you think. A short time ago those bananas were strapped to a performance artist’s butt. And you don’t even want to know where the ham came from.
I can fix it! Replace the ham with cooked bacon and the hollandaise with nutella (or peanut butter).
I can fix it, too. Replace the ham with chocolate shavings, and the hollandaise with bread pudding.
That’s fixing it? Egad…
I can fix it too…with the garbage disposal
Land at bOINGbOING, mid sentence, interrupted “Dangit Cory! Bananananaed again!”
For the next 30 days I’m going to cook for my family taking recipes exclusively from that website.
what, are you tired of all that family business and want to go solo?
Why do you hate your family?
Are epidemiologists taking these recipes into account when evaluating the reasons for the raise of obesity? Maybe people were just slimmer because this was the kind of stuff on offer.
You seem to be implying real Hollandaise isn’t mostly egg yolks and butter. It is pretty much unhealthy no matter what you put it on.
-Of course you probably are implying that no one would eat this in the first place…which I tend to agree with.
No, seriously, people in the 70s actually ate these things. They were BLITZED the entire time, which probably helped.
Now I know what I’m making for dinner.
It might sound weird but actually might not be so bad. I mean, we eat ham and pinapple pizza. Other than swapping out the pinapple for banana and loosing the bread it’s nearly the same. I’d probably give it a go.
Baked bananas are actually really nice – much much nicer than baked pineapple. And very sweet.
Not sure how the combination of sweet, baked bananas will work with ham and hollondaise… but just ’cause it’s from the 70s doesn’t mean it has to be disgusting!
That’s exactly what it means actually. Look it up.
There are lots of great things from the 70s.
well, if it is from the 70’s it IS disgusting!!
wait a minute… I’m from the 70’s! D:
And you would have eaten it because you were baked most of the time.
But is all of you from the 70’s?
Good point. Forty years later, every cell has been replaced.
Or were you asking how many BBer’s were around in the 70s?
I had trouble remembering the name
I agree. Even more delicious are battered, deep-fried bananas with honey.
But again: Hollandaise??? No. Just… no.
Now you’re talkin’
If you ever get a hold of a Hare Krishna Cookbook from the 70’s, snap it up. Those recipes are fantastic.
It’s not because it’s from the 70s that it’s disgusting. It’s because it contains bananas, ham and hollandaise.
It’d probably be OK if you washed it down with a Pernod and chocolate with tomato juice I guess. :O
Lots of us don’t eat ham and pineapple pizza.
As someone who *likes* pineapple&ham pizza (“Pizza Hawaii”, as we call it in Germany):
Banana and ham (and cheese)? Sure, that might be eatable.
But banana, ham and *hollandaise*? Holy fucking shit, are you kidding me???
It doesn’t look that bad, I love ham and I love bananas, why not combine them and put some cheese on top. I’d eat it, sign me up.
That’s not cheese on top. It’s a mixture of egg yolk and butter.
All the calories of cheese with none of the flavor!
Hollandaise is, in fact, absolutely delicious to eat with salt-cured proteins. It is most commonly experienced as a mandatory condiment accompanying Eggs Benedict – poached eggs with smoked salmon, or, yes, HAM.
Ross:” It tastes like *feet*!
Joey:” I like it!”
Ross:”Are you kidding?”
Joey:”What’s not to like? Custard, good. Jam, good. Meat, Goooooooood.
Many people look at North Americans eating pancakes with bacon and maple syrup with much the same expression of abject horror. Isn’t cultural programming fascinating?
There aren’t very many Americans eating maple syrup these days. Corn syrup, yes. Maple syrup, no.
Probably depends on where you live. In New England a lot of people still go out of their way to get real maple syrup made from tree sap.
Buy Grade B. It’s cheaper and has stronger maple flavor.
I’ve lived in the south for years now and chicken and waffles still seems too weird to me.
Indeed! Here in Australia, we have fried egg, a slice of pineapple, and tinned beetroot in our hamburgers… apparently people overseas think that’s a bit weird too. :)
The fried egg? I can see that. The pineapple? Grilled for just a little caramelization? I can see that. Beetroot? No, that’s a bit weird. :)
The pineapple is fucking awful but beetroot is mandatory.
Hmm. Gonna have to try the beetroot. Colour me intrigued (and purple, probably).
“But you know what they put on French fries in Holland instead of ketchup? Mayonnaise. I seen ’em do it man. They drown them in that shit.”
Not just in Holland. Here in Germany, we do that too.
And you know what? It’s fucking delicious!
Sriracha and mayo mixed. Or Korean hot pepper paste and mayo. Or dill mayo. Or aoli. All good.
Wiggum: Quarter Pounder with cheese? Well, I can picture the cheese, but, uh, do they have Krusty partially gelatinated non-dairy gum-based beverages?
Lou: Mm-hm. They call ’em, “shakes.”
Eddie: Huh, shakes. You don’t know what you’re gettin’.
That line has bugged me since that movie came out. Mayo with fries is really quite good. It’s no stranger than eating your fries with mustard or vinegar.
It’s supposed to.
Every conversation in that movie is a meditation on some facet of relative morality.
But vinegar on fries, or fish and chips, is nasty. The smell is almost enough to drive me away from the table entirely.
I’ve never known anyone to eat fries with mustard…
@boingboing-f86c0dc8cbaf8075abb917436943a435:disqus : Yeah, I don’t like vinegar on fries, but a lot of folks seem to. As for mustard, I’m not talking about that yellow crap meat eaters put on hotdogs and such. There are far better mustards in the world.
I love fries with honey or dijon mustard. I’m not really fond of ketchup, and warm mayo is gross.
Quebec as well. And all along the border in Ontario.
Or, worse, the concoction my friend called “Mayhonaise”, which is ketchup and mayo.
The only place I’ve seen mayo guns to squirt vats of mayo at the food.
This Canadian thinks everything but the beetroot is great, but I think tinned beets taste like pennies so I object to them wherever I find them.
I’m secretly also an Australian, so I may not count.
I’ve had quite a lot of people from various European countries tell me that PB&J is totally bizarre and they can’t see how we eat it.
Now we know where Sandra Lee’s been getting her recipes from.
Let the record show that Lawyers Guns & Money were onto this recipe a fortnight ago:
You win, Stephan. I never thought I’d live to see strawberries paired with shrimp and lime Jello, but it looks like I was wrong (and traveling in the wrong, er, right, circles).
Those are tomatoes. And peas.
Also, depending on the age of the photo, that might not be lime. There were a handful of “salad” flavors like celery and mixed vegetable available in the 1960s.
Guess who visited the Jell-O museum last week?
A vegetable gelatin would probably be called an “aspic.”
A good word for scrabble, BTW
Ah, was wondering what that King Crimson album name was talking about, thanks.
With that in mind, it doesn’t look quite so bad. Sorta…kinda….
I first read that as “miserable summer meals.” My brain was trying a correction.
That looks like something from a mormon funeral.
That is the sort of thing you might get when the menu offers “Chef’s Surprise”. I mean you gotta admit, that sure is a surprise!
Don’t knock it. It’s CONTEMPORARY COOKING!
THIS. This is why I collect vintage cookbooks. Especially the ones from food companies. They had to come up with enough stuff to fill x number of pages instead of cutting it down to the number of good recipes they had.
As weird as the recipe is, the use of lemon juice on the bananas to “prevent darkening” is worse. Tart with the sweetness of bananas?
But wait, there’s a hidden ingredient that is even further out there. The slices of ham have mustard spread on them, which are then wrapped around the bananas (mustard side in). Adding to the tart lemon juice there’s the very pungent mustard flavor in the mix.
I’m beginning to think this recipe crams all the flavor sensations into a single dish, perhaps it’s actually a sublime achievement?
As an Acadian recipe cook I can tell you pork, fruit and mustard are a common combo and yummy. Banana I have my suspicions of but ham and blueberry is surprisingly amazing.
OK, you get to try it first and see…
Peanut butter, banana and mustard is one of my standard sandwich combinations. Also peanut butter, banana and mayonnaise. Both are delicious. The peanut butter and butter combination I tried was just okay.
I’ve enjoyed both PB+banana and PB+mayo, but never thought to combine those into a single super-sandwich.
My daughter has been demanding peanut butter, butter, and cream cheese sandwiches lately.
See also: The Woodring.
Can’t someone just care about science and test this?
’70s food porn is just as icky as ’70s sex porn.
70s food porn has less pubes, you gotta give it that.
Ham, cheese and hollandaise? Yes Please!
Ham, cheese and bananas? Uhm… maybe.
All of those together? No.
Good Lord, *please* NO!
Hmm try replacing the ham with Bacon, and the hollandaise with a chocolate sauce maybe a mole.
They could have at least cut the black butthole off the ends of the bananas….
Wait a minute . . . bananas poop? Yeech!
Thank you – the figure/ground hierarchy seems to have kept the polis mum on the sorriest-ass bananas ever imaged.
The lads in the McCall’s Recipe Card Department would laugh at the management squares, and smoked the marijuana during their lunch hours.
This looks like the recipe equivalent of deliberate map maker’s error to catch rip offs.
Yack!!! And i just eate a banana!
as someone who has tried many baked banana and plantain dishes i have to say this sounds delicious!!!
It is close to a recipe that looks similar but tastes completely different. Belgian Endive (chicory, witloof) with ham and cheese. I expect that could be made with hollandaise as well.
Even if these ingredients accidentally tasted good together, could they bother to cut the dark seedy parts off the ass-end of the banana? Dang.
Please someone make this and tell us what it’s like. I’d volunteer but (shudders in horror), I just can’t do it. Cory? Anybody? Anybody?
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bananas, just look at it, not food
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