Just look at this vomitous vintage banana recipe.

Discuss

110 Responses to “Just look at this vomitous vintage banana recipe.”

  1. Karen Geier says:

    OH MY GOD. I inherited a stack of these cards. Each of the recipes are more gruesome than the last

    • freshyill says:

      We have a card in our house from my mother in law that seems to match this. It’s for Chicken Waikiki—basically breaded chicken in a pineapple sauce with rice—and it was actually pretty good.

      That said, now I need to find the set where it came from and explore these horrors.

  2. duchessprozac says:

    Hey, don’t knock it ’til you’ve — You know what, I can’t finish that with a straight face.

  3. $19428857 says:

    If you made this with plantains and real hollandaise, it might be ok, but it would still look weird.

  4. bcsizemo says:

    Ham and bananas..this is not what I expected.

  5. Brainspore says:

    It’s worse than you think. A short time ago those bananas were strapped to a performance artist’s butt. And you don’t even want to know where the ham came from.

  6. bzishi says:

    I can fix it! Replace the ham with cooked bacon and the hollandaise with nutella (or peanut butter).

  7. Kommkast says:

    Land at bOINGbOING, mid sentence, interrupted “Dangit Cory! Bananananaed again!”

  8. oasisob1 says:

    For the next 30 days I’m going to cook for my family taking recipes exclusively from that website.

  9. UnderachievingSheep says:

    Are epidemiologists taking these recipes into account when evaluating the reasons for the raise of obesity? Maybe people were just slimmer because this was the kind of stuff on offer.

    • bcsizemo says:

      You seem to be implying real Hollandaise isn’t mostly egg yolks and butter.  It is pretty much unhealthy no matter what you put it on.

      -Of course you probably are implying that no one would eat this in the first place…which I tend to agree with.

  10. 10xor01 says:

    Now I know what I’m making for dinner.

  11. DreadJester says:

    It might sound weird but actually might not be so bad.  I mean, we eat ham and pinapple pizza.  Other than swapping out the pinapple for banana and loosing the bread it’s nearly the same.  I’d probably give it a go.

  12. thompson says:

    That’s…..  horrifying

  13. sosimon says:

    It doesn’t look that bad, I love ham and I love bananas, why not combine them and put some cheese on top. I’d eat it, sign me up.

    • Nylund says:

      That’s not cheese on top.  It’s a mixture of egg yolk and butter.

      • Antinous / Moderator says:

        All the calories of cheese with none of the flavor!

        • thedreadpiratewesley says:

          Hollandaise is, in fact, absolutely delicious to eat with salt-cured proteins.  It is most commonly experienced as a mandatory condiment accompanying Eggs Benedict – poached eggs with smoked salmon, or, yes, HAM.

    • $19428857 says:

      Ross:” It tastes like *feet*!

      Joey:” I like it!”

      Ross:”Are you kidding?”

      Joey:”What’s not to like? Custard, good. Jam, good. Meat, Goooooooood.

  14. thedreadpiratewesley says:

    Many people look at North Americans eating pancakes with bacon and maple syrup with much the same expression of abject horror.  Isn’t cultural programming fascinating?

    • mappo says:

       There aren’t very many Americans eating maple syrup these days.  Corn syrup, yes.  Maple syrup, no.

    • Nylund says:

      I’ve lived in the south for years now and chicken and waffles still seems too weird to me.

      • thedreadpiratewesley says:

        Indeed!  Here in Australia, we have fried egg, a slice of pineapple, and tinned beetroot in our hamburgers… apparently people overseas think that’s a bit weird too. :)

        •  The fried egg? I can see that. The pineapple? Grilled for just a little caramelization? I can see that. Beetroot? No, that’s a bit weird. :)

        • Preston Sturges says:

          “But you know what they put on French fries in Holland instead of ketchup? Mayonnaise. I seen ‘em do it man. They drown them in that shit.”

          • Not just in Holland. Here in Germany, we do that too.

            And you know what? It’s fucking delicious!

          • $19428857 says:

             Sriracha and mayo mixed. Or Korean hot pepper paste and mayo. Or dill mayo. Or aoli. All good.

          • noah django says:

            Wiggum: Quarter Pounder with cheese? Well, I can picture the cheese, but, uh, do they have Krusty partially gelatinated non-dairy gum-based beverages?
            Lou: Mm-hm. They call ‘em, “shakes.”
            Eddie: Huh, shakes. You don’t know what you’re gettin’.

          • IronEdithKidd says:

            That line has bugged me since that movie came out.  Mayo with fries is really quite good.  It’s no stranger than eating your fries with mustard or vinegar. 

          • jackbird says:

            It’s supposed to.

            Every conversation in that movie is a meditation on some facet of relative morality.

          • Crashproof says:

            But vinegar on fries, or fish and chips, is nasty.  The smell is almost enough to drive me away from the table entirely.

            I’ve never known anyone to eat fries with mustard…

          • IronEdithKidd says:

            @boingboing-f86c0dc8cbaf8075abb917436943a435:disqus :  Yeah, I don’t like vinegar on fries, but a lot of folks seem to.  As for mustard, I’m not talking about that yellow crap meat eaters put on hotdogs and such.  There are far better mustards in the world.

          • I love fries with honey or dijon mustard.  I’m not really fond of ketchup, and warm mayo is gross.

          • Jerril says:

             Quebec as well. And all along the border in Ontario.

            Or, worse, the concoction my friend called “Mayhonaise”, which is ketchup and mayo.

          • Preston Sturges says:

             The only place I’ve seen mayo guns to squirt vats of mayo at the food.

        • Jerril says:

          This Canadian thinks everything but the beetroot is great, but I think tinned beets taste like pennies so I object to them wherever I find them.

          I’m secretly also an Australian, so I may not count.

    • I’ve had quite a lot of people from various European countries tell me that PB&J is totally bizarre and they can’t see how we eat it.

  15. Now we know where Sandra Lee’s been getting her recipes from.

  16. smut clyde says:

    Let the record show that Lawyers Guns & Money were onto this recipe a fortnight ago:
    http://www.lawyersgunsmoneyblog.com/2013/02/late-night-snacking/comment-page-1#comment-450531

  17. noahd says:

    Banana-ham-ick

  18. Jewels Vern says:

    That is the sort of thing you might get when the menu offers “Chef’s Surprise”. I mean you gotta admit, that sure is a surprise!

  19. mrfantasy says:

    Don’t knock it.  It’s CONTEMPORARY COOKING!

  20. legotech says:

    THIS. This is why I collect vintage cookbooks. Especially the ones from food companies. They had to come up with enough stuff to fill x number of pages instead of cutting it down to the number of good recipes they had.

  21. puppethead says:

    As weird as the recipe is, the use of lemon juice on the bananas to “prevent darkening” is worse. Tart with the sweetness of bananas?

    But wait, there’s a hidden ingredient that is even further out there. The slices of ham have mustard spread on them, which are then wrapped around the bananas (mustard side in). Adding to the tart lemon juice there’s the very pungent mustard flavor in the mix.

    I’m beginning to think this recipe crams all the flavor sensations into a single dish, perhaps it’s actually a sublime achievement?

  22. Can’t someone just care about science and test this?

  23. deadbot says:

    ’70s food porn is just as icky as ’70s sex porn.

  24. Ham, cheese and hollandaise? Yes Please!

    Ham, cheese and bananas? Uhm… maybe.

    All of those together? No.
    Good Lord, *please* NO!

  25. Red Monk says:

    Hmm try replacing the ham with Bacon, and the hollandaise with a chocolate sauce maybe a mole.

  26. Ian McLoud says:

    They could have at least cut the black butthole off the ends of the bananas….

  27. Ian Wood says:

    The lads in the McCall’s Recipe Card Department would laugh at the management squares, and smoked the marijuana during their lunch hours.

  28. cfuse says:

    This looks like the recipe equivalent of deliberate map maker’s error to catch rip offs.

  29. Yack!!! And i just eate a banana!

  30. redesigned says:

    as someone who has tried many baked banana and plantain dishes i have to say this sounds delicious!!!

  31. Joris_M says:

    It is close to a recipe that looks similar but tastes completely different. Belgian Endive (chicory, witloof) with ham and cheese. I expect that could be made with hollandaise as well.

  32. Deidzoeb says:

    Even if these ingredients accidentally tasted good together, could they bother to cut the dark seedy parts off the ass-end of the banana? Dang.

  33. ChickieD says:

    Please someone make this and tell us what it’s like. I’d volunteer but (shudders in horror), I just can’t do it. Cory? Anybody? Anybody?

  34. M Alovert says:

    Bananaaaaarrrghh!

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