Just look at this vomitous vintage banana recipe.

Just look at it.

Ham and Bananas Hollandaise (Thanks, Teemu!)


    1. We have a card in our house from my mother in law that seems to match this. It’s for Chicken Waikiki—basically breaded chicken in a pineapple sauce with rice—and it was actually pretty good.

      That said, now I need to find the set where it came from and explore these horrors.

      1. So, basically “lemon chicken” but pineapple instead of lemon. Sounds and pretty sane, as far as a sugar-based chicken sauce goes :D

  1. Hey, don’t knock it ’til you’ve — You know what, I can’t finish that with a straight face.

    1. I was imagining that the bananas used in this recipe were intended to be extremely green and starchy (i.e. more like plantains), but even so, I can’t imagine this would be very tasty.

    2. A lot depends on the presentation. You have to be sure and use chrome plates when you dish it up to your guests.

      You know the old saying: There’s no plates like chrome for the hollandaise.

      1. Er, no actually. I try my hardest not to get my face in the way of hollandaise sauce when it’s being poured onto food. But hey, that’s just the way I roll.

  2. Are epidemiologists taking these recipes into account when evaluating the reasons for the raise of obesity? Maybe people were just slimmer because this was the kind of stuff on offer.

    1. You seem to be implying real Hollandaise isn’t mostly egg yolks and butter.  It is pretty much unhealthy no matter what you put it on.

      -Of course you probably are implying that no one would eat this in the first place…which I tend to agree with.

      1.  No, seriously, people in the 70s actually ate these things. They were BLITZED the entire time, which probably helped.

  3. It might sound weird but actually might not be so bad.  I mean, we eat ham and pinapple pizza.  Other than swapping out the pinapple for banana and loosing the bread it’s nearly the same.  I’d probably give it a go.

    1.  Baked bananas are actually really nice – much much nicer than baked pineapple. And very sweet.

      Not sure how the combination of sweet, baked bananas will work with ham and hollondaise… but just ’cause it’s from the 70s doesn’t mean it has to be disgusting!

          1. Good point.  Forty years later, every cell has been replaced. 

            Or were you asking how many BBer’s were around in the 70s?

      1. If you ever get a hold of a Hare Krishna Cookbook from the 70’s, snap it up. Those recipes are fantastic.

      2. It’s not because it’s from the 70s that it’s disgusting. It’s because it contains bananas, ham and hollandaise. 

        It’d probably be OK if you washed it down with a Pernod and chocolate with tomato juice I guess. :O

    2. As someone who *likes* pineapple&ham pizza (“Pizza Hawaii”, as we call it in Germany):
      Banana and ham (and cheese)? Sure, that might be eatable.

      But banana, ham and *hollandaise*? Holy fucking shit, are you kidding me???

        1. Hollandaise is, in fact, absolutely delicious to eat with salt-cured proteins.  It is most commonly experienced as a mandatory condiment accompanying Eggs Benedict – poached eggs with smoked salmon, or, yes, HAM.

    1. Ross:” It tastes like *feet*!

      Joey:” I like it!”

      Ross:”Are you kidding?”

      Joey:”What’s not to like? Custard, good. Jam, good. Meat, Goooooooood.

  4. Many people look at North Americans eating pancakes with bacon and maple syrup with much the same expression of abject horror.  Isn’t cultural programming fascinating?

      1. Probably depends on where you live.  In New England a lot of people still go out of their way to get real maple syrup made from tree sap.

      1. Indeed!  Here in Australia, we have fried egg, a slice of pineapple, and tinned beetroot in our hamburgers… apparently people overseas think that’s a bit weird too. :)

        1. “But you know what they put on French fries in Holland instead of ketchup? Mayonnaise. I seen ’em do it man. They drown them in that shit.”

          1. Wiggum: Quarter Pounder with cheese? Well, I can picture the cheese, but, uh, do they have Krusty partially gelatinated non-dairy gum-based beverages?
            Lou: Mm-hm. They call ’em, “shakes.”
            Eddie: Huh, shakes. You don’t know what you’re gettin’.

          2. That line has bugged me since that movie came out.  Mayo with fries is really quite good.  It’s no stranger than eating your fries with mustard or vinegar. 

          3. It’s supposed to.

            Every conversation in that movie is a meditation on some facet of relative morality.

          4. But vinegar on fries, or fish and chips, is nasty.  The smell is almost enough to drive me away from the table entirely.

            I’ve never known anyone to eat fries with mustard…

          5. @boingboing-f86c0dc8cbaf8075abb917436943a435:disqus :  Yeah, I don’t like vinegar on fries, but a lot of folks seem to.  As for mustard, I’m not talking about that yellow crap meat eaters put on hotdogs and such.  There are far better mustards in the world.

          6.  Quebec as well. And all along the border in Ontario.

            Or, worse, the concoction my friend called “Mayhonaise”, which is ketchup and mayo.

        2. This Canadian thinks everything but the beetroot is great, but I think tinned beets taste like pennies so I object to them wherever I find them.

          I’m secretly also an Australian, so I may not count.

    1. You win, Stephan.  I never thought I’d live to see strawberries paired with shrimp and lime Jello, but it looks like I was wrong (and traveling in the wrong, er, right, circles).

        1. Also, depending on the age of the photo, that might not be lime. There were a handful of “salad” flavors like celery and mixed vegetable available in the 1960s.

          Guess who visited the Jell-O museum last week?

  5. That is the sort of thing you might get when the menu offers “Chef’s Surprise”. I mean you gotta admit, that sure is a surprise!

  6. THIS. This is why I collect vintage cookbooks. Especially the ones from food companies. They had to come up with enough stuff to fill x number of pages instead of cutting it down to the number of good recipes they had.

  7. As weird as the recipe is, the use of lemon juice on the bananas to “prevent darkening” is worse. Tart with the sweetness of bananas?

    But wait, there’s a hidden ingredient that is even further out there. The slices of ham have mustard spread on them, which are then wrapped around the bananas (mustard side in). Adding to the tart lemon juice there’s the very pungent mustard flavor in the mix.

    I’m beginning to think this recipe crams all the flavor sensations into a single dish, perhaps it’s actually a sublime achievement?

    1.  As an Acadian recipe cook I can tell you pork, fruit and mustard are a common combo and  yummy. Banana I have my suspicions of but ham and blueberry is surprisingly amazing.

      1. Peanut butter, banana and mustard is one of my standard sandwich combinations.  Also peanut butter, banana and mayonnaise.  Both are delicious.  The peanut butter and butter combination I tried was just okay.

    1. Thank you – the figure/ground hierarchy seems to have kept the polis mum on the sorriest-ass bananas ever imaged.

  8. It is close to a recipe that looks similar but tastes completely different. Belgian Endive (chicory, witloof) with ham and cheese. I expect that could be made with hollandaise as well.

  9. Please someone make this and tell us what it’s like. I’d volunteer but (shudders in horror), I just can’t do it. Cory? Anybody? Anybody?

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