The True Story of Trump's Birther Investigator in Hawaii

Tom the Dancing Bug 1305 trump hawaii detective

Tom the Dancing Bug IN WHICH Donald Trump's detective in Hawaii investigates Obama's birth and can't believe what he uncovers...

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  1. Why waste time on China when there's so much to look into involving the Clinton Foundation? Politicians potentially using a charity to funnel money to benefit themselves...there's a real scandal!

  2. Shuck says:

    Famous racist Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio sent a real deputy to Hawaii (at taxpayer expense, naturally) to investigate the issue. He just announced he was continuing the investigation, in fact, after having been on this for years. Now that's real commitment to an imaginary issue!

  3. Poor deputy, having to spend so much time in a tropical island paradise instead of harassing brown-skinned people in an arid cultural hellhole. The sacrifices our men and women in uniform have made in the name of law and order!

  4. Shuck says:

    The deputy himself was only briefly in Hawaii (and I'm not sure what they're doing to "investigate" from Arizona), but still - I salute the service of this law enforcement officer, doing the dangerous and necessary work of drinking piña coladas on the beach in between harassing public employees. Truly an inspiration to racist, corrupt, self-serving public servants everywhere! As Sheriff Joe himself just put it, "I don't care where he was born."

  5. Maybe the investigators found this:

    Birth Certificate Hula
    Lyrics by Kumu Hula Patrick Makuakāne (to the tune of "Aloha Week Hula" by Jack Pitman)

    We're a long way from Africa
    Honolulu doesn't look like Kenya
    So you have to do
    the Birth Certificate Hula

    It's a Tea Party conspiracy
    started by a drunk in a taxi
    So you have to do
    the Birth Certificate Hula

    It's a long form paper you can document
    with the state of Hawai'i's certified judgment
    Wanna bet, he's not from Tibet
    Donald Trump is crazy and he's full of sh-- hey!

    Beat that drum, dum dee-dum
    Wiggle in the middle, it's a lot of fun
    So you have to do
    the Birth Certificate Hula

    Is it a forgery or sorcery
    Did his mother steal him from another nursery
    So you have to do
    the Birth Certificate Hula

    Oh, Obama's a Hawai'i boy
    He eats Spam sushi and he likes his poi
    Born in Kapi'olani maternity,
    he's not the baby of a scary terrorist daddy

    It's a long form paper you can document
    with the state of Hawai'i's certified judgment
    Wanna bet, he's not from Tibet
    Donald Trump is crazy and he's full of sh-- hey!

    It'll never be enough, you see,
    if you're a birther or on Fox TV
    So you have to do
    the Birth Certificate Hula

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