The Onion's inauguration day issue stands as one of its finest moments (Obama Inauguration Speech Ruined By Incessant Jackhammering being torture-comedy of such exquisite caliber that it had me howling by the end) and it's at its absolute best in "Vice Presidential Handlers Lure Cheney Into Traveling Crate":
A team of nine specially trained handlers have successfully lured outgoing vice president Dick Cheney into a reinforced steel traveling crate in order to transport him back to his permanent enclosure in Casper, WY, official sources reported Monday. "He's a smart one. Once he sees the crate, he gets pretty nippy, but we've learned a few tricks over the years," chief VP wrangler Ted Irving breathlessly said while applying pressure to a deep gash on his forearm. "If we break a rabbit's legs and throw it in there, he will eventually go in to finish it off. Doesn't work with dead rabbits, though. Cheney only eats what he kills."
Vice Presidential Handlers Lure Cheney Into Traveling Crate
