How to compose a Bauhaus song in 1 minute

Here's a pretty funny, and accurate, recipe for creating a Bauhaus song:

1. Stripped back drums on intro and verse.

2. Simple, sinister baseline.

3. Horror movie sounds on guitar for verse.

4. Sing like an evil David Bowie (reference book and film monsters).

5. Make the chorus sound like a big occult choir.

6. Repeat for 9 minutes.

Bonus Track: How to write a Cure song in 1 minute: