On Friday, Jenny Lawson, AKA the Bloggess, author of the funniest thing I have ever read on the internet, discovered what appeared to be a perfectly round poop in her yard. Her initial investigation was inconclusive.
Next, she tried to cut it open with plastic forks, with a camera strapped to her boobs, which, predictably, did not work. (The fork part. The camera strapped to her boobs worked quite well.)
Smashing it with a hammer only caused the mysterious object to chase her down the street.
Eventually, she enlisted her husband Victor's help by asking him for an ax. He declined to give her an ax but came out with a saw to cut it open. (He does this by holding the weird object in his hand while cutting it, which somehow does not end in a visit to the emergency room.)
The internet was intrigued and did not disappoint with suggestions for what it might be, including a bezoar from a goat's stomach and a vegan hash brownie. It turned out to be… a baseball, which I have to point out is the first thing Victor said when he looked at it.
Previously: Star jelly: a mysterious substance that has confounded the best minds for centuries
