Seattle Police report they arrested an armed man who "copulated" with a refridgerator at the Trader Joe's on East Madison St and then threatened to kill everyone in the store with a knife. Those are the "cold hard facts," writes an evidently delighted press officer. "He also threw apples."
On Aug. 5 at about a 2:15 p.m., patrol officers responded to the 1700 block of East Madison Street following a report of a man using racial slurs and brandishing a knife at security. Shortly after, he also threatened to kill everyone in the store.
According to the security guard, he confronted the man for allegedly "humping" a refrigerator and attempting to do the same to a customer. When challenged, the suspect became upset and kicked a flower display. He also threw apples.
Responding officers arrested the man on suspicion of felony harassment. The man, 33 years old, is a registered sex offender and was booked into King County jail.
"The suspect's life might get a lot harder if he is not allowed to come within 500 feet of a fridge," concludes the press release.
Previously: Michigan police issue press release about a possible Bigfoot sighting
