# you have discovered the Final Ultimate Solution to the Spam Problem (FUSSP).Link (Thanks, Jim!)
# you are the first to think of the FUSSP.
# you started looking for the FUSSP after observing that it is impossible to filter more than 99% of spam with fewer than 0.1% false positives by currently available mechanisms.
# despite being the inventor of the FUSSP, you are unfamiliar with "false positive," "false negative," "UBE," "tarpit," "teergrube," "Brightmail," "Postini," "SpamAssassin," "DNS blacklist," "HELO," "RBL," or "mail envelope."
# you plan to make money by licensing the FUSSP.
# you don't plan to make a fortune from the FUSSP, but you do expect fame as its generous and public spirited netizen inventor.
# you are deeply hurt and angry because you are not respected as "spam fighter."
I write books. My latest is a YA science fiction novel called Homeland (it's the sequel to Little Brother). More books: Rapture of the Nerds (a novel, with Charlie Stross); With a Little Help (short stories); and The Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow (novella and nonfic). I speak all over the place and I tweet and tumble, too.