Dumb robbers stumble on biker meeting

On Wednesday night, two machete-wielding robbers, aged 20 and 16, attempted a heist at the Regents Park Sporting and Community Club in Sydney, Australia. Unfortunately for them, they picked the night that the tough Souther Cross Cruiser motorcycle club was having its monthly meeting. Apparently, the 50 bikers beat the hell out of them with tables, chairs, and fists. From CNN:
 Cnn 2008 World Asiapcf 02 28 Biker.Meeting Art.Cruiser.Club "These guys were absolutely dumb as bricks," Jerry Vancornewal, leader of the bikers, told CNN Thursday. "I can't believe they saw all the bikes parked up front and they were so stupid that they walked past in...."

One of the would-be robbers crashed through a plate-glass door and jumped off a balcony.

New South Wales police said they arrested the 20-year-old man a short distance away.

The second man made a break for it through the club's service entrance, but the bikers tackled him near a neighbor's fence.

"We just grabbed him, crash-tackled him to the ground, hogtied him with electrical wire and left him for the cops," Vancornewal said.



  1. They we’re gonna kill the one guy, but then he did the big shoe dance, and they all loved him after that.

  2. this is so full of win i can’t stand it. also, thank you to #1 for the great pee-wee reference. made my day!

  3. Reminds me of a story from a guy who came to our high school when I was about 14, to explain the sport of Fencing. He went on to say they had some ‘tough-guys’ turn up to try to tell them they were panzies all dressed in white, and started to threaten and get rough.

    Moral of the story (as you can guess) was don’t bring fists to a sword fight….

  4. So i’ve been wondering lately why biker gangs get a free pass to commit acts of violence and brutality. Why are groups like the Hells Angels and Mongols not arrested on sight? Instead we make jokes about them. I wouldn’t believe someone from a biker gang if he told me the sky was blue.

  5. Why are groups like the Hells Angels and Mongols not arrested on sight?

    Because the police are terrified of them? They also have links to organized crime, which is usually a Get Out Of Jail Free card.

  6. Pee Wee NEVER took anything that did not belong to him! He was looking for his stolen bike at the time. The Bikers all became his friends.
    Proving that both Bikers and Pee Wee are regular (if misunderstood) guys.

  7. More bullshit reporting. First up, this isn’t a “biker gang” like the Angels or the Finks. This is just a bunch of guys who like riding motorcycles. And secondly they didn’t “beat the hell out of them with tables, chairs, and fists” – the robbers took off – one was caught by the bikers and the other by the police. And thirdly, one robber had a machete and the other had a samurai sword. Oh yeah…and its “Southern Cross Cruiser Club”. Why can’t you Americans get it right?

  8. “Why can’t you Americans get it right?”

    Yes. it was because it was written by an american. we did that. we share the guilt.

    visions of stones and glass houses come to mind.

  9. #13 – tl;dr
    It’s really silly to me that so many people have negative comments about “bikers”. First off, what qualifies as a biker? Is it anyone who rides a bike? What is a biker gang, is it a gang of friends who ride? I will admit there have been groups who cause trouble, commit violence, break the law, but I really get offended when there are such broad spectrum generalizations that bikers are bad. Having a family full of bikers, from my neice and nephew who professionally race GSXRs and the like to my father in law who just rides around town, I know better. It seems to me that too many people watch the old TV movies where the bikers are these big bad tattooed illiterate scumbags who live to fight. Have any of you ever heard of Bikers Against Child Abuse? What about the Missionaries? Nooo, hundreds of biker groups out there who support the community and even HELP law enforcement (oh hey, have you noticed there are some cops on bikes???)and no one here seems to have noticed them.

  10. yep, I like riding too. Now let’s not imagine that outlaw biker gangs are above hiding behind you and me. From my own contacts with gang bikers, I found them exactly as trustworthy as the Sopranos. But with less charm.

  11. If you haven’t murdered at least one person, you have no business being on a Harley. It’s like gay leather drag for straight people. You look all butch and tough, but when you open your mouth – Methodist minister. It’s a semantic disaster.

  12. nope,but they ain’t all angels (of any stripe)

    Police v bikies war looming in South Australia
    Friday Feb 22 13:00 AEDT
    By Adam Shand

    Bikies and social analysts both claim new laws banning club colours in South Australia are likely to cause a backlash, with club members targeting police and gangs moving further into underground activities.

    Professor Arthur Veno of Monash University told the Nine Network’s Sunday program a similar ban on the Hells Angels club in Canada sparked heightened tension and violence with police, with bombs placed under police stations and public officials murdered or assaulted in the line of duty.

    He says the SA laws heightened “the probability that law enforcement officials themselves will become targets for the clubs”.

    <a href=”http://direct.ninemsn.com.au/ADCLICK/CID=02fd84c1b5aa3c8a00000000/SITE=NEWS/AREA=NATIONAL/SUBSECTION=/LOC=TOP/AAMSZ=MEDIUM/REFERRAL=GOOGLE/PAGEID=1204249946984/ACC_RANDOM=1204249952046/relocate=http://www.live.com.au”><IMG SRC=”http://ads.ninemsn.com.au/ads/2006/ninemsn/071206/SEA_WLLIG_wekn_102006_300x250.gif” WIDTH=”300″ HEIGHT=”250″ BORDER=0></a>
    “It makes the clubs more violent, more radical — they go underground,” he said

    Professor Veno also said the Canadian ban did nothing to alleviate organised crime.

    “The Hells Angels have been banned for several years and they still maintain their status as the number one organised crime entity in Canada,” he said.

    “They are underground, it’s a special ring, a flash of colour … they are now truly criminals.”

    The bill now being debated by parliament provides that if members of banned organisations continue to associate six times or more in a year, they would face five years in jail.

  13. They’re lucky they didn’t make a trip over here and try to hold up Sturgis. That would have been a hoot. My friend in the Motorcycle Ministry says that the Vagos kind of make Hells Angels look tame. Being a former member, he probably knows what he’s talking about. This club sounds more like our local Gypsy Jokers gang, they ain’t into drugs and crime, but they wouldn’t back down from a good bar fight either.

    Sounds like the guy who jumped off the balcony was showing some sense. Seeing some big burly guys coming at you swinging some good solid chairs, running would be a good idea, unless you are a really stupid masochist who likes broken bones. Plus over here, if you were dumb enough to challenge them with big knives, you’d learn not to bring swords to a gun fight.

    #11 Yep, if they’re afraid of the point, you have a pretty stout steel whip to use on them when they turn tail and run.

    I find the whole thing pretty hilarious, thanks for the laugh.

  14. If you don’t mask it, it runs onto the right side of the page and overlaps the comments. If it’s really long, it creates the dreaded horizontal scroll bar. It’s also another medium for wordplay.

  15. @ David Pescovitz, no you didn’t use the word “gang” in your beat-up but you might as well have. Instead you qualified it with “tough Souther Cross Cruiser motorcycle club”. And you still haven’t fixed the typo “Souther”. BTW the five stars of The Southern Cross is represented on the Australian flag.

  16. This is a variation on “Man Bites Dog.”

    About once a decade it re-appears. Usually in this form:

    Two men trying to steal copper wire from high voltage lines were…

    oh you know the rest.

    The trick is to find motorcycle conventions, then chain the front doors and fire escapes and steal all the bikes.

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