Mom and baby rob candy store

Discuss

31 Responses to “Mom and baby rob candy store”

  1. Evil Jim says:

    They probably didn’t even go for the Noka chocolate.

  2. morehumanthanhuman says:

    In Soviet Russia, baby take candy from you!!!

  3. william says:

    Poor, sad sugar addict.

  4. License Farm says:

    Christ, could she have looked more the part? Did the police also follow the sound of her stuffing her face and, by proxy, the void in her soul? Is she the spawn of an unholy pairing of the Hamburglar and Cookie Monster, godfathered by Barney Rubble in the throes of a Fruity Pebble jones? Did her Blackberry malfunction and fast-forward six months to Halloween? During pregnancy had she become convinced her belly would burst forth like a pinata and this was what she thought she was due?

    Seriously, any of these would make more sense than what seems to be dull (emphasis on “dull”) reality.

  5. CountD says:

    As easy as stealing candy from a…
    Nevermind.

  6. jmullan says:

    Minges Candy Store?

    $400 worth of Minge candy?

    The first time that I tried to leave this comment I got the “text entered was wrong” error.

  7. ZippySpincycle says:

    More like stealing candy with a…nahh, still not worth it.

  8. ictus says:

    wow. this happened right down the road from me. and now it’s made it to boing boing.

    ohio.

    we raise winners.

  9. El Stinko says:

    Mmmmm.. she’s a bright looking one. Who would risk this for CANDY? Really.

  10. Mikey Likes BoingBoing says:

    Officers followed a trail of candy wrappers

    OK, I’m no criminal mastermind, but I’m pretty sure this is the point where their getaway plan started to go awry.

  11. Anselm says:

    Thievery, om nom nom nom!

    Who the hell steals $400 worth of candy and then leaves a trail of wrappers clear enough for the cops to follow?? I suspect either hyperbole on the reporting agency’s part, or else a crime born out of intense cravings for delicious candy rather than outright greed for things without having to pay for them.

  12. ernie says:

    Everyone jumps on her case cuz she can pinch an inch, but no one wants to point out that these fascist candy stores extort us all and until heroes like this get the recognition they deserve Big Sugar will continue to run its jackboots over us.

  13. Stefan Jones says:

    There were three accomplices . . . four if you count the baby.

    This young lady needs to grow up. Someone in her situation should be eating something more nutritious than candy. Shouldn’t she be stealing Hot Pockets or frozen pizza or Spaghetti-O’s instead?

  14. Takuan says:

    fetal alcohol syndrome?

  15. Takuan says:

    I didn’t pick on her for being fat. That was a serious diagnosis based on facial feature proportions.

  16. David Pescovitz says:

    Stefan, thanks! Fixed!

  17. Mr_Biggles says:

    I agree, JMULLAN. Minge candy. Far more concerning than anything else in the story.

  18. noen says:

    Yeah, I wonder that same thing. It wouldn’t surprise me if the older males were using them. The comments on the news site are pretty ugly. But ya know, I have to think a lot of crap like this isn’t due to choices the society has made. Things like no health care for low income folk or the way our society simply has abandoned the developmentally disabled. They are simply left to fend for themselves and eventually end up in the legal system. There are too many mentally ill and disabled in our jails.

  19. Nivalsj says:

    I guess Lori Beth Denberg has fallen on some pretty hard times.

  20. el_beardo says:

    Wrappers as a trail? Hmmm… Reminds me of everyone’s favorite hero – Bobby Brady. Luckily for those Brady boys, Bobby saved the day!

    I think everyone overlooked the STREET VALUE of that candy!!

  21. Beryllium says:

    Great, just what we needed – more anecdotes in support of parental licensing. Heh.

  22. Slimy says:

    A shining star

  23. ill lich says:

    If she keeps eating candy like this, she’ll end up with “hillbilly teeth.”

  24. pedmands says:

    @ #12 Nivalsj

    Hahaaa!

  25. MarkHeck says:

    lol at number 12 – heres soome vital information for yer everyday lives-

  26. Avram says:

    Clearly the baby was the mastermind behind the operation. Why else steal candy?

  27. Chris says:

    Wow – impulse control issues, to say the least.

  28. Stefan Jones says:

    Yeah. Trail of wrappers. Has the makings of a really short episode of CSI.

    MMMM. Better yet, Law & Order. But while the identity of the thieves will be determined quickly, by the end of act one we’ll learn that the baby didn’t belong to Christine.

    Or maybe the four young rocket scientists will start coughing up blood because . . .

    . . . well, I should stop giving away ideas for free. If there’s another writer’s strike I am SO going to be a scab!

  29. Takuan says:

    I learned the truth at seventeen
    That love was meant for beauty queens
    And high school girls with clear skinned smiles
    Who married young and then retired
    The valentines I never knew
    The Friday night charades of youth
    Were spent on one more beautiful
    At seventeen I learned the truth…

    And those of us with ravaged faces
    Lacking in the social graces
    Desperately remained at home
    Inventing lovers on the phone
    Who called to say “come dance with me”
    And murmured vague obscenities
    It isn’t all it seems at seventeen…

    A brown eyed girl in hand me downs
    Whose name I never could pronounce
    Said: “Pity please the ones who serve
    They only get what they deserve”
    The rich relationed hometown queen
    Marries into what she needs
    With a guarantee of company
    And haven for the elderly…

    So remember those who win the game
    Lose the love they sought to gain
    In debitures of quality and dubious integrity
    Their small-town eyes will gape at you
    In dull surprise when payment due
    Exceeds accounts received at seventeen…

    To those of us who knew the pain
    Of valentines that never came
    And those whose names were never called
    When choosing sides for basketball
    It was long ago and far away
    the world was younger than today
    when dreams were all they gave for free
    to ugly duckling girls like me…

    We all play the game, and when we dare
    We cheat ourselves at solitaire
    Inventing lovers on the phone
    Repenting other lives unknown
    That call and say: “Come on, dance with me”
    And murmur vague obscenities
    At ugly girls like me, at seventeen…

  30. prom77 says:

    Geez, I always used to steal it one or two pieces at a time… Did they really need $400 worth all at once?!?

    Even $10 worth of inexpensive candy (easy enough to grab inconspicuously) would take all day to eat surely. Doing that at several different locations for 40 days would admittedly be inconvenient, but it would be safer and would more than get the job done for most sugar addicts.

    It’s the economics of the baby-carriage-full-of-candy caper that makes me scratch my head. I’d love to see someone run the numbers on this, risk vs. reward, etc. If you want to steal candy what is the most efficient plan?

  31. Robotech_Master says:

    From those chubby cheeks, it looks like she eats too much candy already.

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