Man loves sex with cars

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30 Responses to “Man loves sex with cars”

  1. stratosfyr says:

    “…and it’s hard but I’ll try
    To not romanticize the automobile
    *dada-da*
    To not romanticize the automobeeel…”

  2. arkizzle says:

    Mechaphilia FTW!

    Plan on seeing a lot more of this, as domestic robots become mainstream, and eventually shrug off the roomba “functional” look for that sexier “Cherry2000″ look we’ve all been waiting for..

  3. arkizzle says:

    Mitch, that’s probably some sort of zen moment you just had there. As a man, to see it from “her” side..

  4. License Farm says:

    Can I get any sort of recognition for having posted the link to this story in the fake car sex one a couple days ago? It’s the one that reads, “As if on cue.”

  5. nehpetsE says:

    Just like a car
    You`re pleasing to behold
    I`ll call you Jaguar
    If I may be so bold

    Marc Bolans “Jeepster”
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ti8sMxPwC4U

    It is a well known fact that 87% of all Bolan/T-rex songs are about car fucking and Bolan died in a car accident.
    Ironically, He never drove a car himself because he was terrified of driving a car (in the conventional sense, at least)

  6. Avram says:

    According to the FAQ Zuvembi linked to, one should avoid having sex with the car while the engine’s on, partly because of the danger of suffocating yourself with the carbon monoxide.

    Talk about auto-erotic asphyxiation!

  7. corpse 1 says:

    Cue the “My other car is my lover” bumper stickers.

  8. Torley says:

    Do you think he’s into Transformers too?

  9. Antinous says:

    Now I’m all hot thinking about Bumblebee.

  10. Tenn says:

    I think we all are Antinous.

  11. Antinous says:

    Once you go yellow and black, you never go back.

  12. Xenu says:

    Does JG Ballard know about this?

  13. anthropomorphictoast says:

    Actually, with the way men are with their cars, I’m surprised more guys don’t have this fixation. :P

  14. markfrei says:

    The classic early 70′s gay porn video “Sex Garage” has a Harley tailpipe copulation sequence that later was cut out as being too scandalous. Considering what all was left in, this is rather odd…

  15. Pyros says:

    Well,as Thomas Dolby informed,they are nothing more than giant phallic symbols on wheels.

  16. Stefan Jones says:

    Too bad his girlfriend couldn’t have come up with a big automobile costume.

    OK. I shouldn’t have even thought about that. Now I have this picture in my head of out-of-the-way hotels hosting car-cosplay conventions.

  17. Enochrewt says:

    His current love is Vanilla, a white VW Beetle.

    He’s cheating! That’s not a beetle in the picture!

  18. Mitch says:

    A lover that farts smog? Gross!

  19. ME says:

    Too bad he’s not from California, or he’d be engaged by now.

    *ducks*

  20. Tits McGee says:

    According to the article, he’s actually got a little harem:

    As well as Vanilla, he regularly spends time with his other vehicles – a 1973 Opal GT, named Cinnamon, and 1993 Ford Ranger Splash, named Ginger.

    I do hope he practices safe sex. That Ford Ranger sure can get around – goodness knows what she has hanging out in her tailpipe.

  21. Anonymous says:

    Call me naive, but I’ve no idea how one consummates a relationship with a vehicle.

  22. Wingo says:

    Kids in the Hall will demonstrate for you (NSFW)

    http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/41f325e282

  23. Lord Xenu says:

    So, uh, how long before it’s legal for a man to marry a VW Beetle in the state of California?

  24. Antinous says:

    That Kids video is evil. And hilarious.

  25. Beryllium says:

    Sounds like he should invest in a Mercury Mistress.

    http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x11ok_pub-mercury-mistress_ads

  26. Takuan says:

    Oh lord, what a happy coincidence;a moment please: do you believe in John Davis?

    Thanks so much

  27. zuvembi says:

    Ahem, this is the definitive sex with automobiles FAQ (for males) I believe.

  28. Antinous says:

    Readers,

    I strongly suggest that you assume that any link in this thread is NSFW.

  29. Stefan Jones says:

    Hmmm. People stuck with gas-guzzling Hummers and Expeditions can tart them up and sell them to autosexuals, who presumably won’t care about fuel efficiency.

  30. lukemeister says:

    Now I know where those tiny ‘smart cars’ are coming from. They’re his kids.

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