Man loves sex with cars

Edward Smith, 57, of Washington, is a mechaphiliac. He likes "having sex" with cars. In fact, his last relationship with a human was 12 years ago and he never had sex with her. His current love is Vanilla, a white VW Beetle. The Telegraph profiles Smith and he's featured in an upcoming documentary titled "My Car Is My Lover." From The Telegraph:

"I appreciate beauty and I go a little bit beyond appreciating the beauty of a car only to the point of what I feel is an expression of love," (Smith) said.

"Maybe I'm a little bit off the wall but when I see movies like Herbie and Knight Rider, where cars become loveable, huggable characters it's just wonderful.

"I'm a romantic. I write poetry about cars, I sing to them and talk to them just like a girlfriend. I know what's in my heart and I have no desire to change."

He added: "I'm not sick and I don't want to hurt anyone, cars are just my preference."

Link to Telegraph article, Link to YouTube video of Smith

Previously on BB:
• Man pretends sex with car, busted Link

• [stratosfyr]

  “…and it’s hard but I’ll try
  To not romanticize the automobile
  *dada-da*
  To not romanticize the automobeeel…”

• [arkizzle]

  Mechaphilia FTW!

  Plan on seeing a lot more of this, as domestic robots become mainstream, and eventually shrug off the roomba “functional” look for that sexier “Cherry2000″ look we’ve all been waiting for..

• [arkizzle]

  Mitch, that’s probably some sort of zen moment you just had there. As a man, to see it from “her” side..

• [License Farm]

  Can I get any sort of recognition for having posted the link to this story in the fake car sex one a couple days ago? It’s the one that reads, “As if on cue.”

• [nehpetsE]

  Just like a car
  You`re pleasing to behold
  I`ll call you Jaguar
  If I may be so bold

  Marc Bolans “Jeepster”
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ti8sMxPwC4U

  It is a well known fact that 87% of all Bolan/T-rex songs are about car fucking and Bolan died in a car accident.
  Ironically, He never drove a car himself because he was terrified of driving a car (in the conventional sense, at least)

• [Avram]

  According to the FAQ Zuvembi linked to, one should avoid having sex with the car while the engine’s on, partly because of the danger of suffocating yourself with the carbon monoxide.

  Talk about auto-erotic asphyxiation!

• [corpse 1]

  Cue the “My other car is my lover” bumper stickers.

• [Torley]

  Do you think he’s into Transformers too?

• [Antinous]

  Now I’m all hot thinking about Bumblebee.

• [Tenn]

  I think we all are Antinous.

• [Antinous]

  Once you go yellow and black, you never go back.

• [Xenu]

  Does JG Ballard know about this?

• [anthropomorphictoast]

  Actually, with the way men are with their cars, I’m surprised more guys don’t have this fixation. :P

• [markfrei]

  The classic early 70′s gay porn video “Sex Garage” has a Harley tailpipe copulation sequence that later was cut out as being too scandalous. Considering what all was left in, this is rather odd…

• [Pyros]

  Well,as Thomas Dolby informed,they are nothing more than giant phallic symbols on wheels.

• [Stefan Jones]

  Too bad his girlfriend couldn’t have come up with a big automobile costume.

  OK. I shouldn’t have even thought about that. Now I have this picture in my head of out-of-the-way hotels hosting car-cosplay conventions.

• [Enochrewt]

  His current love is Vanilla, a white VW Beetle.

  He’s cheating! That’s not a beetle in the picture!

• [Mitch]

  A lover that farts smog? Gross!

• [ME]

  Too bad he’s not from California, or he’d be engaged by now.

  *ducks*

• [Tits McGee]

  According to the article, he’s actually got a little harem:

  As well as Vanilla, he regularly spends time with his other vehicles – a 1973 Opal GT, named Cinnamon, and 1993 Ford Ranger Splash, named Ginger.

  I do hope he practices safe sex. That Ford Ranger sure can get around – goodness knows what she has hanging out in her tailpipe.

• [Anonymous]

  Call me naive, but I’ve no idea how one consummates a relationship with a vehicle.

• [Wingo]

  Kids in the Hall will demonstrate for you (NSFW)

  http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/41f325e282

• [Lord Xenu]

  So, uh, how long before it’s legal for a man to marry a VW Beetle in the state of California?

• [Antinous]

  That Kids video is evil. And hilarious.

• [Beryllium]

  Sounds like he should invest in a Mercury Mistress.

  http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x11ok_pub-mercury-mistress_ads

• [Takuan]

  Oh lord, what a happy coincidence;a moment please: do you believe in John Davis?

  Thanks so much

• [zuvembi]

  Ahem, this is the definitive sex with automobiles FAQ (for males) I believe.

• [Antinous]

  Readers,

  I strongly suggest that you assume that any link in this thread is NSFW.

• [Stefan Jones]

  Hmmm. People stuck with gas-guzzling Hummers and Expeditions can tart them up and sell them to autosexuals, who presumably won’t care about fuel efficiency.

• [lukemeister]

  Now I know where those tiny ‘smart cars’ are coming from. They’re his kids.