Tonya Harding shot JFK?


43 Responses to “Tonya Harding shot JFK?”

  1. jibbles says:

    I am sick and tired of Tanya Harding! I don’t want to hear it! I mean, let her fry!

  2. HankPootel says:

    Isn’t that Tonya Hadring?

  3. Halloween Jack says:

    Still doesn’t come close to my favoritest crazy conspiracy theory ever.

  4. GRCurley says:

    It looks more like Tanya and Merry helped Sam and Frodo get the ring to Mordor.

  5. dculberson says:

    Large Harding Collider

    Nothing’s as inescapable as crazy.

  6. Mojave says:

    #19 you must not have seen the palin interview from last night yet….

  7. Mark Rowan says:

    It’s true. History really does repeat itself.

    His truth is marching on!

  8. ZippySpincycle says:

    S.L.O.P. @28, did you view the source for that page? Hee… (Thanks to whoever it was on Making Light who pointed that out!)

  9. IWood says:

    God damn it, I shot JFK. Nobody fucking listens to me.

    Also: Bigfoot.

  10. jimh says:

    @#15: You know, a lot of ins, a lot of outs, a lot of what-have-yous, and… a… a lot of… a… strands to keep in my head, man. You know, a lot of strands in the ol’ Duder’s head.

  11. Anonymous says:

    I always thought Marilyn Monroe was the other gunman, on the grassy knoll, who shot Kennedy. Thus the retaliation of her death a little while later.

  12. eustace says:

    LOL! Yeah, the Dude will sort it all out.

  13. ekricyote says:

    Does that mean I can her for my curry?

  14. buddy66 says:

    Makes as much sense as most JFK conspiracy theories, and better than some.

  15. membrain says:

    wait. yes!


  16. Master of Space and Time says:

    If Harding didn’t, at the end, kill Kerrigan, did that mean that Oswald didn’t kill JFK ?

  17. Falcon_Seven says:

    I knew it. I knew it. We have all been sucked into an alternate reality because of the LHC. Bloody physicists! Damn their oily hides!

  18. ZehnKatzen says:

    Man, I’ll tell you. Conspire to crack the kneecap of just one opponent and it’s nothing but crap after that for the rest of your life.

    I might actually start feeling sorry for her.

    No, wait. Won’t actually (whew!)

  19. nanuq says:

    To Whom It May Concern:

    We don’t know how you caught on to our evil scheme but delete this post at once or we will be forced to send in the Men In Black to deal with you.

    Yours truly,

    The Evil Conspirators(tm)

  20. Antinous says:

    Alright, I’ll say it. He’s a bit prettier than her, eh?

  21. buddy66 says:

    Lee did have his cute side.

  22. FoetusNail says:

    What was that revelatory moment like, when these two melded in Urbanek’s mind?

  23. shutz says:

    Y’all have it all completely wrong…

    JFK from a couple of years in the future came back in time to shoot himself from the grassy knoll to prevent an even worse future from happening.

    It’s simple, really, when you think about it.

  24. jimh says:

    Oswald collected stamps.
    Harding has a tramp stamp.

  25. Ugly Canuck says:

    Yes this duder has a strandy head, and they all seem spaghettied together. He says he sees repeating patterns.
    But the media does tend to reduce all stories from their ineluctable uniquity down to examples and elaborations of some previously-heard story’s template. This is less about the facts, and material reality, and more about the Noosphere, and the recognition of the repetition of pattern, in the Media’s presentation of “current events”. All attacks are similar in that they are all “attacks”, but IMO this says more about or language than anything about the “true nature” of any attack.
    On 9-11, the originality of the “event” caused the news “anchors” to basically reveal their “mouthpiecehood” by their complete lack of analysis until they got some through their earphones – that day was way off script, but if there is another such attack the response will be well-formulated and ready. That is no future attack will carry the sheer surprise of 9-11. But that’s what they thought after Pearl Harbour, too.
    Yes Osama is Tojo reborn.

  26. themindfantastic says:

    I love kooks, and their conspiracies… better than hollywood any day of the week.

  27. franko says:

    i’ll paraphrase your own xeni (from just a few days ago!) in regards to these eerie similarities:

    “…and both ‘molemen’ and ‘monticello’ begin with the same two letters…”


    monticello… kennedy… tonya harding… molemen! IT ALL FITS!

  28. Falcon_Seven says:

    After reading Mr. Urbanek’s article I have come to the conclusion that he is freebasing Salvia.

  29. FoetusNail says:

    Shutz, is that the future where Kennedy becomes addicted to painkillers, leaving Bobby to run the company, or the one where he gets blackmailed by the mob and they have nuclear war with Castro?

  30. eustace says:

    Like a jigsaw puzzle, the strands were coming together. Like a spider’s web, all the pieces were falling into place!

  31. magicthread says:

    sounds like urbanek thought borges was being serious

  32. alisong76 says:

    9 – Do you watch Red Dwarf too? ;-)

  33. Bottlekid says:

    How is it that nobody was ever a Dung Beetle in a previous life?

  34. pooklord says:

    That is truly the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.

  35. Ugly Canuck says:

    Bottlekid we were ALL dung beetles in a previous life.

  36. Pelko says:

    I heard that it was the lone gunman.

  37. eustace says:

    Uniquity! My day is brighter for learning this word. Thanx, UC.

  38. GraemeM says:

    #9, Red Dwarf, its been done and I believe you’ve seen it.

  39. mdh says:

    I’m a dung beetle in this life. All I ever seem to do is eat ….

  40. Kunochan says:

    I just wanted to point out that this theory makes more sense than the “9-11 Truth” nonsense.

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