Mystery blob devouring Alaska coastline

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105 Responses to “Mystery blob devouring Alaska coastline”

  1. Anonymous says:

    It’s the monster from Lost.

  2. P1rat3 says:

    It’s Dick Cheney in his natural form taking some time off in Alaska. It’s nice to see he can spend some time out of his skin suit.

  3. angusm says:

    “… ever hear tell of a shoggoth?”

  4. xzzy says:

    I was thinking it was the ‘grey goo’ that the people against nanotech warned us about.

  5. Hel says:

    Wasn’t this a tales from the crypt episode? Kids go swimming in a lake with a no swimming sign, black blob starts dissolving the kids.

  6. avraamov says:

    @4 – i was thinking the same…anyone report mesmerising colours on the surface?

  7. Anonymous says:

    Hmmm… A giant 12 mile long mass of algae with a diet of goose and jellyfish. That makes sense. Nothing out of the ordinary here.

  8. Rezpect says:

    It is, in fact, The Blob.
    (@HEL, that’s a Stepehn King Story you’re thinking of, “The Raft.” It was defintey made into a short film.)

  9. Benjamin says:

    This needs an ‘zomgweregonnadierunhide’ tag.

  10. Hugh "Nomad" Hancock says:

    I don’t know what it is, but for god’s sake don’t let the fighter hit it with his sword.

    That never ends well.

  11. phillamb168 says:

    You gotta read the comments on the linked article. Some gems include:

    “I have been researching “blogs” like this, albeit smaller, for the last 15 years. One thing that my research shows is that there is usually a “meteor” involved. The current theory that this is some sort of a biological probe. The “probe” explores our oceans and reports back using bioluminescence in a light spectrum that is above the UV range. The fact that previous ones were small and this one so large alarms me. Previous ones I investigated appeared in tropical waters and in large fresh water bodies and were no larger than 200 meters long by 50 meters wide. This one might be have another purpose than research, I hope I am wrong.”

    AND

    “YES, GINAMARYE, THERE IS A CONNECTION. THE EARTHQUAKE RELEASED SOME PRIMEVIL MATERIAL FROM DEEP WITHIN THE EARTH’S INTERIOR THAT HAS BEEN LURKING THERE FOR MILLENIUMS. THE END RESULT IS A REAL LIFE VERSION OF THE “BLOB” THAT WILL DEVOUR EVERYTHING IN IT’S PATH. HEAD FOR THE HOTEST PLACES ON EARTH BECAUSE IT CANNOT SURVIVE THE HEAT.\ AND THAT’S WHAT HAS KEPT IT IN CHECK FOR ALL THIS TIME. WARN ALL YOUR FRIENDS!
    DR. BLAKE RAKER, ANTHROPHYSICIST”

    It’s teh lulz!

  12. Anonymous says:

    http://apod.nasa.gov/apod/ap020402.html

    We’ve had similar weirdness off of Florida. Perhaps it’s not really dependent on water temperature?

  13. Nardazal says:

    Ahem, I believe, by the description of this creature, it to be a Black Pudding Ooze. Hopefully it is not an elder, although it could be. It has probably come up to the surface to find sustenance, which could be the fault of some drilling or other human interference with it’s natural underground habitat or food source. More information can be found on page 201 of the Monster Manual. Watch for it’s improved grapple and acid attacks.

  14. Anonymous says:

    I know a way to get rid of it, but we first have to lure it into an ice skating rink.

  15. CALCULON says:

    It’s Space Fungus from Mir. It’s been floating about in the oceans since Mir dropped to earth.

  16. nehpetsE says:

    the raft was indeed a Stephen king shortstory. Movieized in creepshow 2

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K1lMEZgeyCA

  17. GirlDetective says:

    It’s the lake blob from Creepshow 2. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4yST0rbG9BQ

  18. Tiki Wahine says:

    It’s the Nothing!

  19. Anonymous says:

    These are the end times, the Kraken has risen.

  20. avraamov says:

    i think it was in ‘skeleton crew’ – an anthology of short stories.

  21. Anonymous says:

    sorry ate too many toxic cheeseburgers while visiting alaska. There were not any restrooms around so… you can figure out the rest.

    My deepest opologies

  22. LogopolisMike says:

    Friends up north, hide your Tasha Yar action figures in case this thing gets in a killing-for-no-reason mood.

  23. Anonymous says:

    @39 – That’s the funniest thing I’ve read all day. I’m actually crying…

  24. Phikus says:

    I for one welcome our blobular seafaring overlords… (Someone had to say it!)

  25. Phikus says:

    Ok, this thread has already surpassed the US RDA of geekdom. ;D

  26. Anonymous says:

    oo, what about those blobs of things in the sewer??!! is it the same?!?!!

  27. zuludaddy says:

    @avraamov #57

    A Spray of Ambergris Theorists
    A Lamp of Ambergris Theorists…

    OOoohh! OOohh! A VIAL of Ambergris Theorists!

    [Vile stuff, old boy. Vile stuff.]

  28. Anonymous says:

    What surprises me is that it had to be sent away for testing before there were any ideas – nobody had a microscope handy?

  29. coffeemoon says:

    The Yrr have landed! We’re going to see them, finally!
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Swarm_%28novel%29

  30. rmwb says:

    omg… it looks like a massive bloom of marine cyanobacteria to me… not fun…

    http://home.comcast.net/~pflatt/public_html/cyanobacteria.html
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyanobacteria

    I’m remembering that indescribable odor as I write this… ewww…

  31. Anonymous says:

    Or Acidity do to excess CO2 is killing or made rise to a buch of microscopic creatures

  32. Anonymous says:

    #6 – exactly my though as well. Most certainly one of the escaped servant-beasts of the Elder Things. Not terribly surprising it’d turn-up there, considering their preference for the cold.

    Now granted, the Mountains of Madness are at the South Pole, but lets face it, it’s a big empty ocean in-between, no reason it couldn’t have just floated north in search of better prey.

  33. Aneurysm says:

    Teh Bl0b is R33lz!? ZOMGWEREALLGONNADIE!!!

    SRSLY though, I’d like to see what this thing turns out to be. Go Science! Solve the mystery of the ooze!

  34. Anonymous says:

    Sounds like something straight out of Hayao Miyazaki’s “Princess Mononoke”

  35. Clemoh says:

    This is a job for… SuperPalin!

  36. Anonymous says:

    Clearly a Shoggoth. We’re doomed.

  37. TroofSeeker says:

    Maybe it’s a physical manifestation of fundamentalist angst? If it originated in Wasilla, it’ll probably just go back and do something else.

  38. benher says:

    Didn’t that eSheep web comics Patrick Farley guy do a web comic about this once involving Rush Limbaugh devouring every endangered species on the planet?

    (SPOILER:
    hence becoming a blob near the North Pole
    /SPOILER)

  39. xopl says:

    It warms my heart to see the Creepshow 2 video clip show up in this comment thread so quickly.

  40. mikerbaker says:

    While the story sounds plausible (so far), I’m inclined to go along with the mood here. It smacks of a viral intro to some movie to me.

  41. dofnup says:

    Finding some logical scientific explanation for this would be boring.

    Exciting would be: never hearing anything about this again. Officials, when questioned, dismissing it as a ‘hoax’ or ‘prank’. It is relegated to ‘urban legend’ status …

    Wait, did I say exciting? I meant terrifying o_O

  42. Permanent4 says:

    Wait, how did it get all the way to Alaska from Raleigh? Unless… my God, those wormy blobs can create WORMHOLES! RUN!

  43. Anonymous says:

    God’s Spit.

  44. angry young man says:

    I think the military spokesman protests too much. Not oil: of course, it’s oil. It’s the first stage of the Smog Monster that Godzilla fought.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QHEoxVrJRg

  45. IWood says:

    Holy crap, that’s what I get for surfing at work.

    ANYWAY.

    #23 posted by TroofSeeker:

    Maybe it’s a physical manifestation of fundamentalist angst?

    So you think there’s a link between this Viggo person and the uh…slime?

  46. simplewonder says:

    “From the air it looks brownish with some sheen, but when you get close and put it up on the ice and in the bucket, it’s kind of blackish stuff … (and) has hairy strands on it.”

    Hairy. Strands.

  47. Anonymous says:

    I think it’s good that Kirstie Alley is finally learning how to swim.

  48. Anonymous says:

    holy shit, this is like that Stephen King short story. Scary shit

  49. TroofSeeker says:

    Smoke Monster from Lost’s island seeking governorship of Alaska. Favors abortion choice / opposes offshore drilling. I’d vote for it.
    Smokey In 2010!

  50. pjcamp says:

    Pitch black? Oily? Organic?

    Umm . . . Muldur?

  51. Anonymous says:

    I saw some crop bioengineering special on Hulu the other day and this dude was talking about how they had successfully created an organism that was capable of cleaning up oil spills but also had a nasty habit of devouring other things along with the oil. Perhaps this is it?

  52. Anonymous says:

    A foul, amorphous organism that consumes everything in its path, leaving behind only stripped husks?

    Hard to say for sure, but it’s either Microsoft or Oprah. Someone lay a doughnut and a small, undervalued tech startup out in front of it, and see which one it goes for.

  53. Phikus says:

    Troof: Glad to see you’re on top of old Smokey. ;D

  54. Anonymous says:

    The comments in this page are INTERNETS GOLD :D

    I applaud you guys. Keep them coming!

  55. Maurice Reeves says:

    Two thoughts jumped immediately to mind:

    1. C’thulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn

    2. Thank goodness we’ve still got Chuck Norris, because if there was one man who could punch an amorphous black goo that ate everything in its path back to the hell hole it came from, it’s him.

    Get him and Huckabee on a helicopter now. They can land at Palin’s Fortress of Solitude and fight this beast.

  56. Zan says:

    Crud Puppy?

  57. Kozlow says:

    Wizards of the Coast deny responsibility.

  58. Anonymous says:

    nuke the entire site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.

  59. airshowfan says:

    This sounds like the prologue to a Michael Crichton novel.

    Then again, that’s my answer to everything.

  60. Anonymous says:

    Yarr that be Dark Water!

  61. Anonymous says:

    @ The Moderators or Boing Boingers of this thread: The comments found here made me feel less alone, teh internets haz kindred souls. P.S. ZOMG! It’s the Gak I flushed in 4th grade!

  62. Sork says:

    T҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ̒̓̔̕̚o invoke the h҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ̒̓̔̕̚ive-mind re҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ̒̓̔̕̚presenting chaos. Invoking҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ̒̓̔̕̚ the feeling of ch҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ̒̓̔̕̚aos. With out ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ̒̓̔̕̚order.҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚ ̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̚̕̕̚̕̚͡ ͡҉҉ ̕̚͡ ̒̓̔̕̚ The Nezperd҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ̒̓̔̕̚ian hive-mind of chaos. Zalgo.
    ThE SoNg will̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔ ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕ SING
    ख़҉̵̞� ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍ ̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡HE̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔ ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕ ̚̕̚͡ COMES
    ̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚ ͡ ͡҉҉ ̓̔̿̿̿̕̚
    ̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚ ͡ HE̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ͡I̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ͡S+̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡͡ ͡COMINGThE SoNg will̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔ ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕ SING
    ख़҉̵̞� ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍ ̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡HE̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔ ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕ ̚̕̚͡ COMES
    ̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚ ͡ ͡҉҉ ̓̔̿̿̿̕̚ThE SoNg will̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔ ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕ SING
    ख़҉̵̞� ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍ ̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡HE̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔ ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕ ̚̕̚͡ COMES
    ̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚ ͡ ͡҉҉ ̓̔̿̿̿̕̚
    ̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚ ͡ HE̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ͡I̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ͡S+̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡͡ ͡COMING
    Z҉A҉L҉G҉O̚̕̚ Z҉A҉L҉G҉O̚̕̚ Z҉A҉L҉G҉O̚̕̚

  63. smnth1969 says:

    #92 its from Evolution

    : )

  64. Anonymous says:

    One word: Chtorraforming.

  65. JoshP says:

    @3 god, I love that film, and..I don’t think we use enough tactical nuclear weaponry in general. but…north korea *is* in that general direction, not that I think they are capable of creating gelatinous blobby, goose absorbing monstrosities… but makes you think.
    But my vote is vaporize first, study second and ambergris third, and when did ambergris become anything other than an old perfume ingredient and distilled whale oil? Pardon, i must off to google. lol. this thread….

  66. jacord says:

    Obviously the Russians have activated Project Koschei: http://www.infinityplus.co.uk/stories/colderwar.htm

  67. Sceadugenga says:

    It sure sounds like $RELEVANT_POP_CULTURE_REFERENCE to me!

  68. romulusnr says:

    UL much? I think Alaska’s rednecks (bluenecks?) are just jealous of all the attention the lower 48′s rednecks get from mutilated cows and crop circles, so they’ve imagined a mysterious sea-blob that disintegrates goose flesh.

  69. Cenmarr says:

    “Below, the Midgard serpent remains sleeping in the poison currents.It takes alot to rouse such a serpent from it’s slumber. But then there is a voice in the gurgle and rush of water. And thus did Sarah wake Jormungandr and trigger Ragnarok”

  70. bobhughes says:

    It’s a leftover petroleum bubble from an oil spill which is now supporting a megacolony of marine pseudomona. These bacteria need to be cultivated and further studied as a potential method of seawater remediation.

  71. Falcon_Seven says:

    It’s one of three possibilities:

    1. The Blob.

    2. Caltiki.

    3. The H-Man.

  72. Anonymous says:

    They would say it was algae. They don’t want to share the wealth. After all, ambergis is more precious than gold and Northern Hemisphere ambergis is the rarest form. They trying to keep it all for themselves. And who are they? It was all in Dan Brown’s books. They are a secret cabal that has ruled us in secret for millennia – The Ambergitti.

  73. Anonymous says:

    AKIRA!

    Sorry, couldn’t help myself.

  74. TroofSeeker says:

    Sork, your Klingonese-English translator needs calibration.

  75. Anonymous says:

    Just when everyone thought their Chia pets were gone…and they said they were safe…

  76. WalterBillington says:

    CO2 extinghuishers. Lots of them. and a 50 foot tall woman.

  77. iamanumlaut says:

    Help us Steve McQueen, you’re our only hope!

  78. PathogenAntifreeze says:

    It’s the Ancient Enemy from Phantoms by Dean Koontz. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phantoms_(novel)

  79. Anonymous says:

    Anti dandruff shampoo … absolutely …

  80. Bobdotcom says:

    Meh. There are a pair of Gelatinous Cubes living down the street from me. We don’t see them out much, but the streets around here are spotless.

  81. Anonymous says:

    Oh no, global warming has unfrozen The Blob!

  82. smnth1969 says:

    Selenium … we need to stockpile anti dandruff shampoo .. it always works

  83. Anonymous says:

    Seriously, I belive I cleaned that out of my fridge last week. Who knew it would end up on the alaskan coast? Whoops sorry Alaska!

  84. SkullHyphy says:

    Al Gore + Michael Bay = “An ancient terror responsible for many of the mass extinctions on planet Earth has been trapped under ice sheets for thousands of years until mankind causes global warming and frees it.”

  85. jackie31337 says:

    Clemoh @30 This is a job for… SuperPalin!

    OMG, this totally explains her resignation! She has to give up her everyday identity as governor to assume her superhero identity and fight the blob.

  86. MrScience says:

    #71 wins.

  87. nsrmb says:

    Food does not equal love!

  88. Moriarty says:

    We need to nuke this thing while it’s still vulnerable.

  89. DWittSF says:

    Just in case..

    KLAATU BARADA NIKTO!

  90. jphilby says:

    It’s that thing from ‘Spirited Away’. Talk nice to it and it gives you lots of gold. Don’t stand too close.

  91. avraamov says:

    is there a collective noun for ambergris theorists?

  92. Takuan says:

    actually, it was an unauthorized experiment to liquefy the Great Pacific Garbage Gyre. Now we have the Great Northern Pacific Roaming Toxic Blob.

  93. Anonymous says:

    it reminds me of one of stephen king’s short stories, where those teenagers go out on the raft and they’re all slowly devoured by the black goop, and as it kills them it gets bigger and bigger

  94. Anonymous says:

    I think it is mammoth sh*$ that melted off the polar ice cap.

  95. Anonymous says:

    This is not the first “blob” to be found in the waters here in North America. About 5-10 yrs ago, there was mysterious “black water” found in the gulf of mexico and in florida. Same description…it killed all the fish in the area, had a bad smell, and was of unknown origin. At the time of the article I read, the “blob” was the size of Rhode Island. The news stopped reporting on it and I don’t know what ever happened to it. This sounds like the same thing.

  96. ophmarketing says:

    A mysterious blob, engulfing Alaska’s coast and destroying thw widlife? Why, if I didn’t know better, I’d say [Insert Sarah Palin joke here]!

  97. Klink says:

    A mysterious blob that consumes everything in it’s path?

    Anyone else thinking what I am thinking?

  98. IWood says:

    This thing doesn’t want to show itself, it wants to hide inside an imitation. It’ll fight if it has to, but it’s vulnerable out in the open. If it takes us over, then it has no more enemies, nobody left to kill it. And then it’s won.

  99. Anonymous says:

    Seems like it describes ambergris to a tee…

  100. WalterBillington says:

    @91 that’s very very funny – but I’ve completely forgotten the source! Remind please or you’ll be driving me craazy!

  101. blatantdisregard says:

    Stephen King’s imagination come to life?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4yST0rbG9BQ&feature=related

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