Mystery blob devouring Alaska coastline

Kyle sez "An unidentified blob is making its way through the Arctic ocean, engulfing wildlife (only feathers and bones were left of a goose that was caught in it), and no one knows what it is."

Nobody knows for sure what the gunk is, but Petty Officer 1st Class Terry Hasenauer says the Coast Guard is sure what it is not.

"It's certainly biological," Hasenauer said. "It's definitely not an oil product of any kind. It has no characteristics of an oil, or a hazardous substance, for that matter.

"It's definitely, by the smell and the makeup of it, it's some sort of naturally occurring organic or otherwise marine organism..."

"It's pitch black when it hits ice and it kind of discolors the ice and hangs off of it," Brower said. He saw some jellyfish tangled up in the stuff, and someone turned in what was left of a dead goose -- just bones and feathers -- to the borough's wildlife department.

"It kind of has an odor; I can't describe it," he said.

Huge blob of Arctic goo floats past Slope communities (Thanks, Kyle!)

• [Anonymous]

  It’s the monster from Lost.

• [P1rat3]

  It’s Dick Cheney in his natural form taking some time off in Alaska. It’s nice to see he can spend some time out of his skin suit.

• [angusm]

  “… ever hear tell of a shoggoth?”

• [xzzy]

  I was thinking it was the ‘grey goo’ that the people against nanotech warned us about.

• [Hel]

  Wasn’t this a tales from the crypt episode? Kids go swimming in a lake with a no swimming sign, black blob starts dissolving the kids.

• [avraamov]

  @4 – i was thinking the same…anyone report mesmerising colours on the surface?

• [Anonymous]

  Hmmm… A giant 12 mile long mass of algae with a diet of goose and jellyfish. That makes sense. Nothing out of the ordinary here.

• [Rezpect]

  It is, in fact, The Blob.
  (@HEL, that’s a Stepehn King Story you’re thinking of, “The Raft.” It was defintey made into a short film.)

• [Benjamin]

  This needs an ‘zomgweregonnadierunhide’ tag.

• [Hugh “Nomad” Hancock]

  I don’t know what it is, but for god’s sake don’t let the fighter hit it with his sword.

  That never ends well.

• [phillamb168]

  You gotta read the comments on the linked article. Some gems include:

  “I have been researching “blogs” like this, albeit smaller, for the last 15 years. One thing that my research shows is that there is usually a “meteor” involved. The current theory that this is some sort of a biological probe. The “probe” explores our oceans and reports back using bioluminescence in a light spectrum that is above the UV range. The fact that previous ones were small and this one so large alarms me. Previous ones I investigated appeared in tropical waters and in large fresh water bodies and were no larger than 200 meters long by 50 meters wide. This one might be have another purpose than research, I hope I am wrong.”

  AND

  “YES, GINAMARYE, THERE IS A CONNECTION. THE EARTHQUAKE RELEASED SOME PRIMEVIL MATERIAL FROM DEEP WITHIN THE EARTH’S INTERIOR THAT HAS BEEN LURKING THERE FOR MILLENIUMS. THE END RESULT IS A REAL LIFE VERSION OF THE “BLOB” THAT WILL DEVOUR EVERYTHING IN IT’S PATH. HEAD FOR THE HOTEST PLACES ON EARTH BECAUSE IT CANNOT SURVIVE THE HEAT.\ AND THAT’S WHAT HAS KEPT IT IN CHECK FOR ALL THIS TIME. WARN ALL YOUR FRIENDS!
  DR. BLAKE RAKER, ANTHROPHYSICIST”

  It’s teh lulz!

• [Anonymous]

  http://apod.nasa.gov/apod/ap020402.html

  We’ve had similar weirdness off of Florida. Perhaps it’s not really dependent on water temperature?

• [Nardazal]

  Ahem, I believe, by the description of this creature, it to be a Black Pudding Ooze. Hopefully it is not an elder, although it could be. It has probably come up to the surface to find sustenance, which could be the fault of some drilling or other human interference with it’s natural underground habitat or food source. More information can be found on page 201 of the Monster Manual. Watch for it’s improved grapple and acid attacks.

• [Anonymous]

  I know a way to get rid of it, but we first have to lure it into an ice skating rink.

• [CALCULON]

  It’s Space Fungus from Mir. It’s been floating about in the oceans since Mir dropped to earth.

• [nehpetsE]

  the raft was indeed a Stephen king shortstory. Movieized in creepshow 2

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K1lMEZgeyCA

• [GirlDetective]

  It’s the lake blob from Creepshow 2. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4yST0rbG9BQ

• [Tiki Wahine]

  It’s the Nothing!

• [Anonymous]

  These are the end times, the Kraken has risen.

• [avraamov]

  i think it was in ‘skeleton crew’ – an anthology of short stories.

• [Anonymous]

  sorry ate too many toxic cheeseburgers while visiting alaska. There were not any restrooms around so… you can figure out the rest.

  My deepest opologies

• [LogopolisMike]

  Friends up north, hide your Tasha Yar action figures in case this thing gets in a killing-for-no-reason mood.

• [Anonymous]

  @39 – That’s the funniest thing I’ve read all day. I’m actually crying…

• [Phikus]

  I for one welcome our blobular seafaring overlords… (Someone had to say it!)

• [Phikus]

  Ok, this thread has already surpassed the US RDA of geekdom. ;D

• [Anonymous]

  oo, what about those blobs of things in the sewer??!! is it the same?!?!!

• [zuludaddy]

  @avraamov #57

  A Spray of Ambergris Theorists
  A Lamp of Ambergris Theorists…

  OOoohh! OOohh! A VIAL of Ambergris Theorists!

  [Vile stuff, old boy. Vile stuff.]

• [Anonymous]

  What surprises me is that it had to be sent away for testing before there were any ideas – nobody had a microscope handy?

• [coffeemoon]

  The Yrr have landed! We’re going to see them, finally!
  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Swarm_%28novel%29

• [rmwb]

  omg… it looks like a massive bloom of marine cyanobacteria to me… not fun…

  http://home.comcast.net/~pflatt/public_html/cyanobacteria.html
  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyanobacteria

  I’m remembering that indescribable odor as I write this… ewww…

• [Anonymous]

  Or Acidity do to excess CO2 is killing or made rise to a buch of microscopic creatures

• [Anonymous]

  #6 – exactly my though as well. Most certainly one of the escaped servant-beasts of the Elder Things. Not terribly surprising it’d turn-up there, considering their preference for the cold.

  Now granted, the Mountains of Madness are at the South Pole, but lets face it, it’s a big empty ocean in-between, no reason it couldn’t have just floated north in search of better prey.

• [Aneurysm]

  Teh Bl0b is R33lz!? ZOMGWEREALLGONNADIE!!!

  SRSLY though, I’d like to see what this thing turns out to be. Go Science! Solve the mystery of the ooze!

• [Anonymous]

  Sounds like something straight out of Hayao Miyazaki’s “Princess Mononoke”

• [Clemoh]

  This is a job for… SuperPalin!

• [Anonymous]

  Clearly a Shoggoth. We’re doomed.

• [TroofSeeker]

  Maybe it’s a physical manifestation of fundamentalist angst? If it originated in Wasilla, it’ll probably just go back and do something else.

• [benher]

  Didn’t that eSheep web comics Patrick Farley guy do a web comic about this once involving Rush Limbaugh devouring every endangered species on the planet?

  (SPOILER:
  hence becoming a blob near the North Pole
  /SPOILER)

• [xopl]

  It warms my heart to see the Creepshow 2 video clip show up in this comment thread so quickly.

• [mikerbaker]

  While the story sounds plausible (so far), I’m inclined to go along with the mood here. It smacks of a viral intro to some movie to me.

• [dofnup]

  Finding some logical scientific explanation for this would be boring.

  Exciting would be: never hearing anything about this again. Officials, when questioned, dismissing it as a ‘hoax’ or ‘prank’. It is relegated to ‘urban legend’ status …

  Wait, did I say exciting? I meant terrifying o_O

• [Permanent4]

  Wait, how did it get all the way to Alaska from Raleigh? Unless… my God, those wormy blobs can create WORMHOLES! RUN!

• [Anonymous]

  God’s Spit.

• [angry young man]

  I think the military spokesman protests too much. Not oil: of course, it’s oil. It’s the first stage of the Smog Monster that Godzilla fought.

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QHEoxVrJRg

• [IWood]

  Holy crap, that’s what I get for surfing at work.

  ANYWAY.

  #23 posted by TroofSeeker:

  Maybe it’s a physical manifestation of fundamentalist angst?

  So you think there’s a link between this Viggo person and the uh…slime?

• [simplewonder]

  “From the air it looks brownish with some sheen, but when you get close and put it up on the ice and in the bucket, it’s kind of blackish stuff … (and) has hairy strands on it.”

  Hairy. Strands.

• [Anonymous]

  I think it’s good that Kirstie Alley is finally learning how to swim.

• [Anonymous]

  holy shit, this is like that Stephen King short story. Scary shit

• [TroofSeeker]

  Smoke Monster from Lost’s island seeking governorship of Alaska. Favors abortion choice / opposes offshore drilling. I’d vote for it.
  Smokey In 2010!

• [pjcamp]

  Pitch black? Oily? Organic?

  Umm . . . Muldur?

• [Anonymous]

  I saw some crop bioengineering special on Hulu the other day and this dude was talking about how they had successfully created an organism that was capable of cleaning up oil spills but also had a nasty habit of devouring other things along with the oil. Perhaps this is it?

• [Anonymous]

  A foul, amorphous organism that consumes everything in its path, leaving behind only stripped husks?

  Hard to say for sure, but it’s either Microsoft or Oprah. Someone lay a doughnut and a small, undervalued tech startup out in front of it, and see which one it goes for.

• [Phikus]

  Troof: Glad to see you’re on top of old Smokey. ;D

• [Anonymous]

  The comments in this page are INTERNETS GOLD :D

  I applaud you guys. Keep them coming!

• [Maurice Reeves]

  Two thoughts jumped immediately to mind:

  1. C’thulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn

  2. Thank goodness we’ve still got Chuck Norris, because if there was one man who could punch an amorphous black goo that ate everything in its path back to the hell hole it came from, it’s him.

  Get him and Huckabee on a helicopter now. They can land at Palin’s Fortress of Solitude and fight this beast.

• [Zan]

  Crud Puppy?

• [Kozlow]

  Wizards of the Coast deny responsibility.

• [Anonymous]

  nuke the entire site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.

• [airshowfan]

  This sounds like the prologue to a Michael Crichton novel.

  Then again, that’s my answer to everything.

• [Takuan]

  http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/discoblog/2009/07/13/dozens-of-giant-squid-wash-up-on-california-beach/

• [Anonymous]

  Yarr that be Dark Water!

• [Anonymous]

  @ The Moderators or Boing Boingers of this thread: The comments found here made me feel less alone, teh internets haz kindred souls. P.S. ZOMG! It’s the Gak I flushed in 4th grade!

• [Sork]

  T҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ̒̓̔̕̚o invoke the h҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ̒̓̔̕̚ive-mind re҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ̒̓̔̕̚presenting chaos. Invoking҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ̒̓̔̕̚ the feeling of ch҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ̒̓̔̕̚aos. With out ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ̒̓̔̕̚order.҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚ ̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̚̕̕̚̕̚͡ ͡҉҉ ̕̚͡ ̒̓̔̕̚ The Nezperd҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ̒̓̔̕̚ian hive-mind of chaos. Zalgo.
  ThE SoNg will̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔ ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕ SING
  ख़҉̵̞� ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍ ̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡HE̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔ ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕ ̚̕̚͡ COMES
  ̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚ ͡ ͡҉҉ ̓̔̿̿̿̕̚
  ̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚ ͡ HE̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ͡I̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ͡S+̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡͡ ͡COMINGThE SoNg will̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔ ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕ SING
  ख़҉̵̞� ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍ ̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡HE̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔ ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕ ̚̕̚͡ COMES
  ̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚ ͡ ͡҉҉ ̓̔̿̿̿̕̚ThE SoNg will̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔ ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕ SING
  ख़҉̵̞� ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍ ̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡HE̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔ ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕ ̚̕̚͡ COMES
  ̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚ ͡ ͡҉҉ ̓̔̿̿̿̕̚
  ̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚ ͡ HE̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ͡I̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ͡S+̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡͡ ͡COMING
  Z҉A҉L҉G҉O̚̕̚ Z҉A҉L҉G҉O̚̕̚ Z҉A҉L҉G҉O̚̕̚

• [smnth1969]

  #92 its from Evolution

  : )

• [Anonymous]

  Algae

  http://newsminer.com/news/2009/jul/16/tests-show-alaskas-mysterious-gooey-blob-algae/

• [Takuan]

  http://www.misskonar.com/bartholomew_and_the_oobleck.jpg

• [Anonymous]

  One word: Chtorraforming.

• [HeruRaHa]

  ambergris theorists:

  look at the pic;

  http://media.adn.com/smedia/2009/07/14/22/344-4557317.21868.original.standalone.prod_affiliate.7.jpg

• [JoshP]

  @3 god, I love that film, and..I don’t think we use enough tactical nuclear weaponry in general. but…north korea *is* in that general direction, not that I think they are capable of creating gelatinous blobby, goose absorbing monstrosities… but makes you think.
  But my vote is vaporize first, study second and ambergris third, and when did ambergris become anything other than an old perfume ingredient and distilled whale oil? Pardon, i must off to google. lol. this thread….

• [jacord]

  Obviously the Russians have activated Project Koschei: http://www.infinityplus.co.uk/stories/colderwar.htm

• [Sceadugenga]

  It sure sounds like $RELEVANT_POP_CULTURE_REFERENCE to me!

• [romulusnr]

  UL much? I think Alaska’s rednecks (bluenecks?) are just jealous of all the attention the lower 48′s rednecks get from mutilated cows and crop circles, so they’ve imagined a mysterious sea-blob that disintegrates goose flesh.

• [Cenmarr]

  “Below, the Midgard serpent remains sleeping in the poison currents.It takes alot to rouse such a serpent from it’s slumber. But then there is a voice in the gurgle and rush of water. And thus did Sarah wake Jormungandr and trigger Ragnarok”

• [bobhughes]

  It’s a leftover petroleum bubble from an oil spill which is now supporting a megacolony of marine pseudomona. These bacteria need to be cultivated and further studied as a potential method of seawater remediation.

• [Falcon_Seven]

  It’s one of three possibilities:

  1. The Blob.

  2. Caltiki.

  3. The H-Man.

• [Anonymous]

  They would say it was algae. They don’t want to share the wealth. After all, ambergis is more precious than gold and Northern Hemisphere ambergis is the rarest form. They trying to keep it all for themselves. And who are they? It was all in Dan Brown’s books. They are a secret cabal that has ruled us in secret for millennia – The Ambergitti.

• [Anonymous]

  AKIRA!

  Sorry, couldn’t help myself.

• [TroofSeeker]

  Sork, your Klingonese-English translator needs calibration.

• [Anonymous]

  Just when everyone thought their Chia pets were gone…and they said they were safe…

• [WalterBillington]

  CO2 extinghuishers. Lots of them. and a 50 foot tall woman.

• [iamanumlaut]

  Help us Steve McQueen, you’re our only hope!

• [PathogenAntifreeze]

  It’s the Ancient Enemy from Phantoms by Dean Koontz. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phantoms_(novel)

• [Anonymous]

  Anti dandruff shampoo … absolutely …

• [Bobdotcom]

  Meh. There are a pair of Gelatinous Cubes living down the street from me. We don’t see them out much, but the streets around here are spotless.

• [Anonymous]

  Oh no, global warming has unfrozen The Blob!

• [smnth1969]

  Selenium … we need to stockpile anti dandruff shampoo .. it always works

• [Anonymous]

  Seriously, I belive I cleaned that out of my fridge last week. Who knew it would end up on the alaskan coast? Whoops sorry Alaska!

• [SkullHyphy]

  Al Gore + Michael Bay = “An ancient terror responsible for many of the mass extinctions on planet Earth has been trapped under ice sheets for thousands of years until mankind causes global warming and frees it.”

• [jackie31337]

  Clemoh @30 This is a job for… SuperPalin!

  OMG, this totally explains her resignation! She has to give up her everyday identity as governor to assume her superhero identity and fight the blob.

• [MrScience]

  #71 wins.

• [nsrmb]

  Food does not equal love!

• [Moriarty]

  We need to nuke this thing while it’s still vulnerable.

• [DWittSF]

  Just in case..

  KLAATU BARADA NIKTO!

• [jphilby]

  It’s that thing from ‘Spirited Away’. Talk nice to it and it gives you lots of gold. Don’t stand too close.

• [avraamov]

  is there a collective noun for ambergris theorists?

• [Takuan]

  actually, it was an unauthorized experiment to liquefy the Great Pacific Garbage Gyre. Now we have the Great Northern Pacific Roaming Toxic Blob.

• [Anonymous]

  it reminds me of one of stephen king’s short stories, where those teenagers go out on the raft and they’re all slowly devoured by the black goop, and as it kills them it gets bigger and bigger

• [Anonymous]

  I think it is mammoth sh*$ that melted off the polar ice cap.

• [Anonymous]

  This is not the first “blob” to be found in the waters here in North America. About 5-10 yrs ago, there was mysterious “black water” found in the gulf of mexico and in florida. Same description…it killed all the fish in the area, had a bad smell, and was of unknown origin. At the time of the article I read, the “blob” was the size of Rhode Island. The news stopped reporting on it and I don’t know what ever happened to it. This sounds like the same thing.

• [ophmarketing]

  A mysterious blob, engulfing Alaska’s coast and destroying thw widlife? Why, if I didn’t know better, I’d say [Insert Sarah Palin joke here]!

• [Klink]

  A mysterious blob that consumes everything in it’s path?

  Anyone else thinking what I am thinking?

• [IWood]

  This thing doesn’t want to show itself, it wants to hide inside an imitation. It’ll fight if it has to, but it’s vulnerable out in the open. If it takes us over, then it has no more enemies, nobody left to kill it. And then it’s won.

• [Anonymous]

  Seems like it describes ambergris to a tee…

• [WalterBillington]

  @91 that’s very very funny – but I’ve completely forgotten the source! Remind please or you’ll be driving me craazy!

• [blatantdisregard]

  Stephen King’s imagination come to life?

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4yST0rbG9BQ&feature=related