BP oil spill conspiracy theories

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123 Responses to “BP oil spill conspiracy theories”

  1. dkybrd@me.com says:

    Toyota is responsible.It took all the heat off them-remember ?Motive,Money,Malevolent.

  2. pato pal ur says:

    excellent post – I miss having Arthur as guestblogger!

    • Arthur Goldwag says:

      It’s good to be back–Boing Boing’s Commentariat is the smartest, the funniest, and the most thought-provoking I’ve ever encountered.

  3. Anonymous says:

    I saw that suggestion, IronyElemental, on the ‘RT’ (Russia Today) web-site earlier today … “The idea was to drill a small, angled shaft and set off the bomb, so that the explosion would block the leak. But people weren’t sure where to drill, because no one knew exactly where the pipe leak was. And it was so loud. You can’t imagine what a fire like this sounds like. Worse than a hundred jet planes all at once. Difficult to access, difficult to work close to – it was a tough job,” former science editor of Komsomolskaya Pravda daily, Vladimir Gurbaev told RT.

    Despite these problems, all went well. The leak was closed. The method was pronounced effective and later used on several other similar problems.

    http://rt.com/Sci_Tech/2010-05-05/nuclear-solution-oil-spill.html

    The ‘conspiracy theory’ I like is Halliburton and BP were trying to save money and cut corners around lax safety standards. Leonard.

  4. dancentury says:

    I blame the Cloverfield monster.

  5. Anonymous says:

    http://rapidshare.com/files/384381694/20100505142146.pdf.html
    this document, supposedly an insider account of what went wrong on the rig, has been making the rounds. (does not support conspiracy theories). If anybody knows a better, more convenient place for me to upload it than rapidshare, please let me know.

  6. Anonymous says:

    I have a different theory, could this accident may have been a way of getting oil to the surface without having to use petro energy to pump it out. Instead just use the oceans water weight to bring it to the surface.In the long haul the money saved from pumping might make the claen up look like pocket change.After a while the leaking oil from this drilled hole where this main pipe was would just natually quit leaking.But the secret shafts would be spueing oil like a gusher without having to be pumped. Just another take on this.

  7. Anonymous says:

    BP & Goldman Sachs: Conspiracy or Coincidence?
    By: Nick Lucas
    nicklucas01@yahoo.com

    *Following this brief article you will find a list of references which back up my independent research/investigation. Please ask any and all questions for clarification. Please share this information with as many people as possible.

    Many stories regarding BP’s Deepwater Horizon Oil Rig continue to appear alleging selling of stock prior to the sinking of the rig due to inside knowledge of the possibility of this catastrophic event. Along with these stories are also stories regarding BP and associates’ refusal to acknowledge warning signs prior to the oil rig disaster. The following are the facts and are undisputed. Conspiracy or coincidence; you decide.

    On April 20, 2010 news of a fire on BP’s Deepwater Horizon Oil Rig in the Gulf of Mexico broke. Due to the fire and later sinking of the rig, BP has been trying to cap and capture the leaking oil from the sea floor for nearly two months. Prior to this event, Goldman Sachs owned 40% of BP’s stock; to be exact 6,025,387 shares. By close of the market on March 31, 2010 Goldman Sachs sold 4,680,822 shares of BP stock. On the 31st of March BP’s stock had an open price of $56.69 and a closing price of $57.07. Various web articles and blogs claim that Goldman Sachs made 250 million dollars by selling this stock three weeks prior to the sinking of the oil rig in the Gulf of Mexico. By multiplying the amount of stock sold and the average of the daily price this would be true. Selling the stock prior to the catastrophic accident leaves many wondering whether this was all by luck or if Goldman Sachs was in a position to know that it was a safe bet to sell the stock before the oil rig event occurred.

    The first question to ask is if there are any ties between BP and Goldman Sachs beyond stock ownership. Peter Sutherland is the Advisory Director and Chairman and also the Managing Director of Goldman Sachs International. Mr. Sutherland is also the Non-Executive Director, Chairman of Chairmans Committee and Member of the Nomination Committee from 1995 to the Present date for BP plc. Peter Sutherland is also the Non Executive Chairman, Chairman of the Nomination Committee and Chairman of Chairmans Committee from 1995 to the present date for BP Solar International Inc. which is a subsidiary of BP plc. Furthermore, Peter Sutherland is the Non-Executive Director, Chairman of the Nominating Committee and Chairman of Chairmans Committee for BP Trinidad & Tobago LLC which is also a subsidiary of BP plc. The bottom line is that Peter Sutherland is a director for both BP and Goldman Sachs. This information is confirmed by the Bloomberg Business Directory. The only question now is if the connection between Goldman Sachs and BP is strong enough for inside information to flow.

    According to several news sources such as the Borowitz Report, the United States Government found an email during their newly launched investigation into BP from Goldman Sachs employee Fabrice Tourre in which he bragged to a girlfriend that the firm was taking a “big short” position on the gulf. “One oil rig goes down and we’re going to be rolling in dough,” Mr. Tourre wrote in one email. “Suck it, fishies and birdies!” This email was sent prior to the oil rig incident at the time of the selling of the stock. The fact that the U.S Government is looking through Goldman Sachs computers and files while investigating BP would lead one to believe that the connection is strong enough between BP and Goldman Sachs for inside information to flow.

    The second and possibly the most important question to ask is simply if BP knew that the Deepwater Horizon Oil Rig was in danger of catastrophe. This question is of such importance as the above would only stand if BP knew or had sufficient warning. Furthermore, if BP did have this knowledge they clearly intended to profit at the expense of the environment, human life, and the economy. Internal documents from BP, which Congress now has as they conduct their investigation, have shown that there were sufficient warnings as the Deepwater Horizon Oil Rig had serious problems. These problems included the well casing and the blowout preventer. The internal documents reveal that BP noted in March after encountering several problems on the Deepwater Horizon Oil Rig that they were struggling with a loss of “well control.” Furthermore, the internal documents illustrate that BP had concerns as far back as 11 months prior to March regarding the well casing and the blowout preventer. Although rig workers warned against continuing to drill and continuing to drill violated company policies, the rig continued to operate after gaining approval from BP colleagues.

    President Obama has had harsh words as of late for BP. Many people have and continue to question the President’s response time and feel that the President has been emotionally removed from the crisis. Only after the President’s approval rating took a dive and outrage from the Gulf towards the President became so loud it was heard in Washington did the President begin visiting the Gulf on a regular basis and talking tough with regards to BP. The government has taken a look into computer systems at Goldman Sachs or else the email mentioned above would not have been found. Many wonder why the President’s initial reaction was so lack luster in nature. Could it be that BP and Goldman Sachs are connected so closely? On May 03, 2007 Barack Obama attended an event that was not on his public calendar and only surfaced because a news reporter, Brokaw, arranged to do an unannounced interview at the private Goldman Sachs dinner. Obama did not grant the approval or know of the interview rather Goldman Sachs granted Brokaw’s request. It would be against Federal Law for Goldman Sachs to have contributed to the Obama campaign. However, Goldman Sachs members contributed $739,521 making Goldman Sachs members the largest contributor to the Obama campaign. Today the Obama Administration is full of former Goldman Sachs employees such as Stephen Friedman, Chairman of Obama’s Foreign Intelligence Advisory Board. Mr. Friedman was a Goldman Sachs employee for many years in various positions and still serves on Goldman Sachs Board. Gary Gensler is the chairman of the U.S. Commodity Futures Trading Commission under President Barack Obama; Gary Gensler spent 18 years working for Goldman Sachs. There are many more individuals who are in the Obama administration who either worked directly for, do, or have strong connections with Goldman Sachs.

    Above are the facts that certain officials are trying to keep quiet in effort to keep the masses under control. However, these are facts that are undisputed by even the highest levels of the United States Government and BP once specifically questioned. Is all of this a coincidence or is it a conspiracy that many are trying to cover up?

    References:

    BP Stock Ownership as of March 31 2010 – Goldman Sachs what they owned and what they sold.

    http://moneycentral.msn.com/ownership?Holding=Institutional+Ownership&Symbol=BP

    Bloomberg Peter D. Sutherland List of Positions

    http://investing.businessweek.com/businessweek/research/stocks/people/person.asp?personId=394468&ticker=GS:US&previousCapId=4321286&previousTitle=BlackRock%20Credit%20Allocation%20Income%20Trust%20II%2C%20Inc.

    Obama interviewed by Brokaw at private Goldman Sachs dinner

    http://blogs.suntimes.com/sweet/2008/10/obama_interviewed_by_brokaw_at.html

    Documents Show Early Worries About Safety of Rig

    http://www.nytimes.com/2010/05/30/us/30rig.html?pagewanted=

    Rig survivors: BP ordered shortcut on day of blast

    http://www.cnn.com/2010/US/06/08/oil.rig.warning.signs/index.html

    Why BP will be the next bailout

    http://www.nypost.com/p/news/opinion/opedcolumnists/why_bp_will_be_the_next_bailout_hvrvH54dE8Luyjl9JJavOK

    Goldman Sachs Reveals it Shorted Gulf of Mexico

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andy-borowitz/goldman-sachs-reveals-it_b_558774.html

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  8. willy says:

    “Mother Superior jumped the shark…”

  9. Mateo Hao says:

    I agree with energy weapon. Obviously Obama does not want to go back to the moon because he has already installed a super weapon capable of destroying entire capitalist enterprises whenever he sees fit. That’s why he also decided to sign that nuclear weapons reduction treaty, because he’s got bigger guns now. And then if global warming isn’t happening fast enough, Obama will just melt an ice cap or two with his DEATH MOON! It’s not just a conspiracy, IT’S A TRAP!

    But seriously, this will be the beginning of the end for Big Oil and it’s big, oily fingers in our lives. I can’t wait for a future where society is not built upon the filthy remains of dead dinosaurs.

  10. UncleD says:

    I thought this was a relatively straightforward case of Obama blowing up oil rigs and coal mines, while Michelle’s Childhood Obesity program put husky kids on stationary bikes to power our electrical grid. But this whole Sorcha Faal / N. Korea angle took me by surprise, and now I have to rethink this whole thing. Thanks.

  11. efergus3 says:

    Remember those armed dolphins that the US Navy lost during Hurricane Katrina? They’re baaaaaaack and they’re pissed.

  12. Ito Kagehisa says:

    “Let us rid ourselves of the fiction that low oil prices are somehow good for the United States.” — Dick Cheney, former Chairman and Chief Executive Officer of Halliburton Energy Services, suppliers of the cement that blew out and destroyed the Deepwater Horizon drig rig.

  13. Orky says:

    Sorcha Fail.

  14. Leonard1911A1 says:

    … or maybe it was the …

    Nitrogen-Cement Mix Is Focus of Gulf Inquiry
    By JUSTIN GILLIS and JOHN M. BRODER
    The New York Times Company
    Published: May 10, 2010

    “Experts said this type of cement can form a stronger bond in certain types of rock, but is also more difficult to use than standard cement, requiring great care in mixing and application.”

    http://www.nytimes.com/2010/05/11/us/11hearings.html

  15. Anonymous says:

    On April 21, coming back to Galveston, our cruise ship has to swerve to miss hitting something in the ocean called a “rogue buoy” by Carnival. One thing the captain told us over intercom (that they failed to mention in the news) was that when when turned, the gyroscope malfunctioned. Here’s a link to the article about it;
    http://www.usatoday.com/travel/cruises/item.aspx?type=blog&ak=89260.blog
    Thankfully, we got a picture from the ship’s channel of the radar blip and our turn, with coordinates. What’s out there?
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/cwsims08/4615620209/
    Keep in mind that the accident occurred at 12:55 PM Ship’s time, so this picture was taken just under 3 hours ahead of the “buoy”.
    Of note; many passengers I talked to said that they heard something scrape the side of the ship, and when we pulled into port, a large number of people immediately set to work with cranes painting the side of the boat that took the impact.

  16. Anonymous says:

    Hold on: Obama works with radical environmentalists to blow up the rig and spew millions of gallons of oil. Luckily the oil is really just natural, harmless and poses no danger. Obama and friend are thwarted! (world according to ditto heads)

  17. mjfgates says:

    I, for one, would be happy to welcome a set of new, environmentalist overlords.

  18. akaaudio says:

    @ TROTSKY Mike Tyson is not the world’s most brutal fighter. Fedor Emilienanko is…

  19. Leonard1911A1 says:

    Now, here is a fun one for all you conspiracy freaks out there (and I like a good conspiracy theory myself) =>

    Predictive Programming? Gulf Oil Rig Explosion in “Knowing”
    Infowars.com | Coincidence? You decide.
    May 10, 2010

    http://www.infowars.com/predictive-programming-gulf-oil-rig-explosion-in-knowing/

  20. Anonymous says:

    You’re kidding, right? It’s a HUGE step from spiking trees to blowing up oil wells and that’s beside the fact that enviornmental terrorists would have to find a way to get onto a highly secured rig in the middle of the ocean, get explosives, manage to set adn detonate, etc. and that’s just silly. There is no evidence whatsoever here except some “blackout on info” silliness with NO substantiation whatsoever. Plus, destroying the GUlf to save it is also, frankly, nuts. I can certainly entertain the possibility of a reasonable conspiracy theory but this is simply pure invention attaching the names of everyone these people have ever hated and in complete disreguard for the fact that the so-called conspirators are not political partners and have opposing goals.

    It’s possible but highly unlikely that this was any kind of act of terrorism and the real trouble is oil rigs and drilling are dangerous and the liklihood of an accident, especially when safety protocols are violated, is very great.

  21. jphilby says:

    Occam’s razor tells me that conspiracy isn’t behind the oil spill. Incompetence is. The *conspiracy* is ours: we elect people and raise up people and work for people who are incompetent.

    For example: We pay $500 billion in protection money and they miss a dozen-and-a-half 20-somethings with box cutters (their incompetent story).

    Considering how well our cream-of-the-crop leadership did with Katrina, imagine how well they’d do with the aftermath of the nuclear war they spent decades toying with.

    The fact of mere incompetence makes most conspiracy theory unnecessary. What conspiracy theory *does* do is hide the incompetence of the leadership and the populace that elects it.

    • zyodei says:

      Dude, Occam’s Razor isn’t some immutable law of physics. It’s a rule of thumb, that is often correct, except when it isn’t.

      It really bugs me when people keep going on about Bush’s incompetence. That was what the highly sophisticated propaganda engines were doing their best to make people think.

      Here a group comes in, steals untold billions or trillions of dollars, checks off a whole laundry list of military mischief around the world, subverts the whole political system..and you think they were “incompetent?”

      No, not in the least, not in any circumstance – Iraq, Katrina, etc. They were NEVER incompetent. They got what they wanted in every instance. They were simply a lot smarter than you, and played the American people like a two dollar fiddle (not that the Bushies were unique in this regard, not at all).

  22. woodland_spirit says:

    My own BP conspiracy theory is that, due to the sun spot cycle not kicking in, we actually have a global cooling trend instead of global warming. Added to this there was the volcano at Iceland which is going to make the planet even cooler for a couple of years. This drop in temperature could effect the harvests in the most fertile parts of the world.

    So what is needed is to make the world darker in a place near to the equator. Then the earth absorbs more radiation, for a few years, and a food crisis is averted. BP themselves may or may not know anything about this.

  23. Anonymous says:

    this is very straightforward and appropriate. as i am only 15 i try to understand as much as possible but this is the closest to what is happening. thank you for putting this on the internet and having it available.

  24. imajication says:

    I am just sad that What Does It All Mean.com is considered credible enough even to rebut. I mean, just look at the site.

  25. benher says:

    Rush Limbaugh?

    Oh! You mean the pill-popping drug addict who was discredited!

    Does anyone still listen to that guy?

  26. orwellian says:

    Halliburton tried to plug the leak but BP told them it was much smaller and closer to the surface so their plug failed. BP made Halliburton look competent and in the right. Just think about that for a minute.

    BP failed on an amazingly large scale: there’s the explosion itself, the failed safety equipment designed to stop a leak, not having containment material like they told the feds they had, lying about the size of the spill and the rate of spillage.

    Sorcha Faal. Sorta Fail. There, I fixed it for you.

  27. moniker42 says:

    Systems and environmental disruption on this scale, particularly disruptions with such small investment (How many pennies on the dollar do matches cost?) seem such a much more likely outlet for terrorism than the quixotic windmill terroism of the shoe bomber.

  28. drac3000 says:

    stick to the facts…Halliburton was there the day before… working under water…who is halliburton…Bush and Cheney own this company…halliburton was in iraq…poisoning our troops with bad water…don’t think that they wouldn’t kill sea creatures…wake up people…they have a mission…DO YOU?
    this is nothing…compared to what our gov’t has done in the past!

  29. Trotsky says:

    Here’s a crazy idea. This is America’s fault.

    ALL of America. Dem and Republican.

    Not Iran, North Korea, Cuba, China, or whoever else we need to prop up to absolve ourselves of greed, incompetence, and unrestrained hubris. 100% homegrown. 100% America. 100% fuck-up.

    It would be nice to see my home country man-up once in a blue moon. That would be refreshing. But introspection has never been a strong attribute of my homeland.

    • Anonymous says:

      It’s a long term money making disaster.

      And the world’s biggest companies are…
      1. Royal Dutch Shell
      2. Exxon Mobil
      3. Wal-Mart Stores
      4. BP
      5. Chevron
      6. Total
      7. ConocoPhillips
      8. ING Group
      9. Sinopec
      10. Toyota Motor

      In Sept 2009 BP announced a massive new oil field find, in the deep water of the gulf, gaining momentum over the rest of the industry.
      For 2009 BP’s underlying profits were up by 14% whilst Exxon Mobils were down by 64% & Shells down by 72%.
      BP would be an excellent buy for someone, problem was the share price was to high.

      Solution

      Lower the share price.

      How

      By a disaster.

      Benefits

      1. You get a company for next to peanuts.
      2. Your own oil reserves have now shot up
      3. Weakens an administration opposed to corporate governance.

      Does it now matter if they shut down new drilling in the Gulf. Nope, as you now own the reserves your not loosing anything your just not getting the cash for those reserves just now. The oil is still in the ground & you can be sure that in the future another administration will rescind the ban.

    • Anonymous says:

      Are you saying that you broke the dam?

    • Stefan Jones says:

      Well, of COURSE it’s Americans’ fault.

      The only question is whether it’s the Econazis, the Hate America First liberals, Chicago Style Politicians, or . . .

      Whoops, I passed an unflushed toilet and some Fox News memes wafted up my nose and infected my brain there for a moment.

  30. Anonymous says:

    I cannot figure out what else. They ask for a way to fix this…it is given but they do not act. I think omething for sure stinks…and bad. LOOK at it…I do this for a living. It would work just like Red Adair did in the 60′s see it and you will know something is fishy with this ongoing 60K (now) barrel a day leak.

    thesrt.com

  31. Trotsky says:

    BTW…

    Plug the hole with Dick Cheney.

  32. RHK says:

    Yup. I personally piloted the DSV that disabled the blowout preventer before my confederates blew themselves up on the platform. I even left a Boing Boing sticker behind as proof. But I didn’t do it because of the environment – Chevron hired me so oil prices would go up and I made a bundle shorting BP. Suckers.

  33. drac3000 says:

    my prayers go out to the families that lost their love ones.

  34. mdh says:

    I mean, it’s clearly a small step from spiking trees to blowing up oil rigs.

    I know that is irony.

    But tree-spiking is so 20 years ago. It takes a level of commitment to spike a stand of trees, so that it lives.

    It is another thing entirely to think the eco-arsonists of today who burn car lots and ski-resorts have that kind of love or patience in their hearts.

    It’s apples and oranges, really.

  35. IronyElemental says:

    I didn’t see it mentioned here, but the nuking the site for orbit, as it were, is a valid solution. The Russians have done this repeatedly in the past successfully. It’s not 100% certain to seal the leak at the source, but the odds are better than lowering that goofball dome.

    http://rawstory.com/rs/2010/0504/russian-paper-suggests-nuclear-explosion-cut-gulf-oil-geyser/

    As long as we’re talking about conspiracy theories….it is interesting to me that all solutions thus far have involved preserving BP’s flow of oil (read:$$$). They’re boring the side tunnel now which will take three months. Why sit through three months of leakage and half-baked rescue ideas when we could, conceivably, shut the whole thing down with an explosion, and let BP bear the cost of retapping the well?

  36. Anonymous says:

    It’s so obvious. It was Giant Octopus, just like the movie! The real question is, which side is Megashark on, and who paid the Octopus?

  37. Anonymous says:

    We need divine intervention. No man-made plan is working. Let us get Swaggert or Benny Hinn or any of the preachermen of the world to part the water – MOSES style- to allow work to go on on dry land. BP is complaining that they cannot work under water. They only comfortable working above ground.

    DREAMER with a vision

  38. Anonymous says:

    2 things:

    1) Don’t even think copying Russian energy policies or oil well tactics is a good idea. They have shit going on over there right now that makes Centralia PA look like the goddam Riviera! When Russia gets in trouble, they call Texas, and that’s a fucking fact. If Russia does it, that’s an overwhelmingly good reason not to even consider explosively blocking the hole. Christ, some of the former SSRs have ongoing gas well disasters left behind by the Soviets that may never be capped!

    2) The idea that Bush was a complete moron, barely able to eat pretzels without fatal accident, is not incompatible with the idea that the Bush administration played Congress and the American people “like a two dollar fiddle”. It does not take a genius to fool idiots, and Bush surrounded himself with brilliantly immoral people who had no compunctions about manipulating their mush-brained leader.

  39. Anonymous says:

    I was on this rig in May of 2007. Once again Rush has no idea what he is talking about.

    Considering the magnitude of the insanity of his thinking expressed by his statements, one should ask whether he is on drugs…again.

  40. greengestalt says:

    Although I’m into them, I have one big problem with “Conspiracy Theories”; They are “Undeserved Flattery”.

    Think about it: If the world is controlled by Rothschilds, Jews, Horrible Reptile overlords, etc. and they are working towards a population culling followed by Orwellian control for a few “Worker’s Cities” leaving the rest of the world to be returned to an Ecotopia for the Rich Elite… Well, things that are going on make total sense.

    On the other hand, while there certainly are “Financial” and “Business” conspiracies (fix phone rates, DRM, getting grandfathered out of safety valves on oil rigs…) the world is rather unhinged as leaders just make sure they can retire wealthy and the wealthy only care about the next “Fiscal Quarter” and the middle class are just lazy F*ckheads who’ll let themselves lose their standard of living as long as it’s a penny at a time while letting the environment lead to a population culling ‘naturally’ as long as it’s their kids starving just after they die using the last of social security…

    It’s entirely possible that man is just that stupid, greedy and F*ckheaded and deserves entirely the mess he’s creating for himself.

    Wish I could “Incunabula” and go off to a side reality…

    Oh, and here’s my conspiracy theory, just for fun tossing a turd at the wall;

    IMO, the oil company deliberately blew it up to save themselves paying the pensions of the workers and the cleanup costs and years of losses for that offshore drilling operation that if I understand right wasn’t making money. Blow it up, they only face “Damages” that both have a “Cap” they can insure for and as Exxon proved a dream team of lawyers can make it much lower. Blow it up, and someone else (the government) cleans up their mess and also the “Blame” is in Obama’s desk even though various factors (the no safety valve regulation) tie it directly to Dubya and Cheney and their administration…

    But again, there’s no need to scream “Defamation”, it’s just “One Man’s Opinion”… Besides, the very likely reality is the oil company just squirmed out of every regulation they could for no other reason than maximizing profit and sooner or later this would happen, aided by the factors of the damage cap and Exxon’s precedent that it wouldn’t be the end of the world for them.

    Too bad, really, I’d love it if some oil companies went bankrupt and either sold rock bottom or abandoned their equipment. I’d turn one of those platforms into a “SeaStead” and use it -like 10 years from now, so the USA is really sinking and unable to be cop of the world- into a floating palace of Drugs, prostitution and dog fighting to cater to passing cruise ships:-) I’d have people start making and attaching tons of “Floating Modules” to the side, making a neo oceanic Kowloon…
    -AND- I’d keep the pumping equipment working for when oil reaches $200+ a barrel. BUT-I’d make sure that safety valve was used, it’d be too valuable to waste!

  41. ill lich says:

    Why a “suicide” mission”– they can’t detonate their bomb by remote? Is North Korea that backwards that they have to resort to tactics used by shadowy terrorist cells? I mean– they have a SUBMARINE, but they don’t have TORPEDOES?

    I’d think Occam’s Razor would dictate that a company known for flaunting safety rules was bound to have an accident, but I guess conspiracies are more romantic.

    Sorcha Faal, what a great name. The magic of the internet means you can create this persona, shrouded in a (perhaps plausible) ancient secret order, and spit out almost dada-esque ideas and someone will eat it up. Ahhh. . . if the czar’s secret police were only around today to spread the Protocol’s of the Elders of Zion.

  42. EricT says:

    Ok I have to admit that I considered the Iranians.
    Wait wait dont go yet hear me out.

    I recall maybe ten or so years ago reading how Iran bought up a few diesel submarines. On Battery power, very hard to detect. They slip into the gulf, Torpedo an oil rig or two and slip out, us none the wiser.

    What? it could happen.

    • Trotsky says:

      >> Ok I have to admit that I considered the Iranians.

      What possible motive could Iran have for attacking America at all?

      We’ve been looking for any excuse to bomb the shit out of them for decades. The nation of Iran knows full well that if they were to engage in a “war” with us, they’d be erased from the planet. The last thing they want is to offer a convenient provocation.

      To me North Korea, Cuba, Iran, or pretty much any other nation on the planet that we have been champing at the bit to acquire, are the last entities that would carry something like this out. It would be like flicking Mike Tyson’s ear. You’d get about four seconds of satisfaction of saying “nyah, nyah” to the world’s most brutal fighter until he smashed your face in.

      Further, if, as the neocons assert, Iran is working on a nuclear program to attack (the so-called “we won’t know they are serious until New York City is a smoking crater” argument), the LAST thing they would do is attack us because, as the argument goes, their entire purpose is to build a nuclear weapon to do some real damage.

      This would be like the 9/11 terrorists toilet-papering the local FBI offices a couple of weeks ahead of 9/11.

      Where has logic gone?

      We have pundits and experts who SAY things, but increasingly no one thinks them through.

      • Anonymous says:

        Why would Iran want to attack us? I dunno… ask the troops in Iraq and Afghanistan. Maybe ask the Israelis about Hezbollah.

        Iran’s never stated that they’d bring the fight to us and we’re not pushing to have their nuclear weapons program stopped. Nope. It’s not happening in this rosy world!

        Don’t pay attention much, do you?

        Iran was my very first thought. Especially with the Times Square attempt so close and their nutty Ahmadinnerjacket speaking at the UN. You know, hastening the 12th death-clown closer in for world destruction.

        Sad to say my second thought was: Jeez, summer driving season’s almost upon us and we haven’t had a good oil spill in a while. Every time prices go down a refinery just happens to explode, Iran just happens to threaten the gulf, or there’s a spill and prices go right back up. It’s hard not to see a correlation even if it is far-fetched.

        Odd though how the media isn’t screaming about gas prices (BOOOOOOSSSSSHHHHH!!!!!) now.

        And like the dope said “Never let a crisis go to waste.” You can bet something bad’s coming out of this.

        (For all those that think I’m too into conspiracy’s – been following the FCC and the MPAA/RIAA lately that Cory’s been posting? – Conspiracy’s do exist)

  43. RingMod76 says:

    You know, when I’m having a rough day and lamenting the state of the world, nothing brightens things for me more than realizing I at least have a firm grip on reality, in comparison to batshit insane conspiracy theorists. Plus, I have to admit, these are pretty creative as conspiracy theories go – Cubans! North Koreans! Suicide mini subs! Thermonuclear weapons!

    Awesome.

  44. freegnu says:

    Nice to say blah blah blah and ha ha ha.

    But it is simpler than a conspiracy and completely uncoordinated. Remember Bush said drill baby drill but drilling was actually reduced while he was president. BP was sealing up the oil well when it exploded. Obama said he wanted more drilling so letting this spill get bigger and messier than it needed to be makes it easy for Obama to back down from the stance of drilling to get oil prices cheaper in the short term to get them more expensive in the long term to make alternative energy source seem more reasonable. The reason BP was having the company Haliburton hired for them seal the well was to keep the oil in reserve until oil prices are much higher. Which is what all oil companies except Lukoil AKA Russia are keeping their reserves for. The oil companies all want to be the last man selling into the crisis.

    20-30 million gallons of crude oil
    42 gallons of oil per a barrel of crude
    $74.55 spot price for crude
    equals 35.5-53.25 million dollars in lost crude oil
    plus $75 million dollar US cap on the maximum oil companies have to pay to clean up their messes

    Means BP may only have to shell out $75000m – $532500m
    Which is a little more than $20 million dollars. And al they had to do was drag their feet when it came to fixing the problem. Yes it is kooky math and they may have to pay the max but the loss of millions of gallons of our natural resources isn’t real for BP and the outcome is higher profits for BP. Which are currently in the billions.

    The only reason BP is using Haliburton is because they probably had to as a condition of drilling. And the only reason BP is the focus is because Haliburton has a stranglehold on the media in the US. The only reason BP is drilling in the US is because they can’t drill in conflict areas and were probably the highest bidder for the oil drilling rights for that well. All the instructions reportedly coming from BP were probably coming from Haliburton. Which is why the decision makers aren’t being named. Pure propaganda. I can’t wait for the congressional hearings and public theater of the absurd when they actually question the BP executives and nothing is said and nothing comes of it.

    The only legislation I heard being proposed was lowing the maximum liability of oil companies when there are spills.

  45. Anonymous says:

    Dijidog says:
    I find it interesting how people find it as fantastic and far out theories when it really is so very close to the truth. It is only far out and fantastic if you are a “normal” person like you or I. But for a second , just imagine yourself as a megalomaniac hell bent on getting your way…with armies at your disposal… it is not so far fetched to want to use your weapons you have sitting around….just waiting to be used… Things have happened to me in my life that have changed my opinion on what can and can not be..it is the gullible and the ignorant that mock these theories and tout them as blabbering of the insane. They are all to possible and perhaps dead on(<<

  46. Anonymous says:

    It was sharks with frikking laser beams attached.

  47. Anonymous says:

    These people are crazy. The oil rig explosion and mine disasters were obviously caused by mutants.

    We need to sic S.H.I.E.L.D. and Iron Man on them.

  48. Leonard1911A1 says:

    Speaking of ‘conspiracy theories’, I found a real honey based on the movie ‘The Matrix’ on ‘You Tube’ =>

    ‘You Tube’ Red Pill Or Blue Pill? Your Choice (Interactive)

    StevenM818 — January 29, 2009 — MORPHEUS: At last. Welcome, Neo. As you no doubt have guessed, I am Morpheus.

    NEO: It’s an honor to meet you.

    MORPHEUS: No, the honor is mine….Please, come, sit. I imagine that right now you’re feeling a bit like Alice…Tumbling down the rabbit hole? Hmm?

    NEO: You could say that.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7VQ9Fs2fM20

  49. Anonymous says:

    sorcha faal is most likely a CIA disinformation agent. i can’t prove this, but i suspect it.

    if you look up the IP address of http://www.whatdoesitmean.com, it will show you that the website is based out of a mansion 2 miles away from the CIA headquarters in virginia.

    “sorcha faal” does these things to muck up the waters… to confuse gullible people and spread rumors and fear.

  50. Anonymous says:

    Dick Cheney played the violin(fiddle) while the Deepwater rig burned. It seems that Dick Cheney of Haliburton’s Helm has created a new genre of music, called the “Louisiana Rig”. Did he hold the matches that were used to deliberately start the rig on fire as everbody around the world suspects?

  51. Jcover says:

    Accidents happen. Conspiracies really kick in when the aftermath makes no sense. The company involved has greater resources than most countries and the first solution I remember seeing on the news was to fill the hole with golf balls. Really? Billions of dollars involved, a massive ecosystem being destroyed, any of the world’s top scientific minds likely at your disposal and you came up with… a junk shot? Nice.

    It’s easy to blame it all on incompetence when those involved seem eager to appear incompetent. So option 1: the people who created one of the most powerful companies on the planet are fools. Option 2: they’re not. Option 1 is its own conspiracy theory and a popular one where successful people are all dumb jerks who got lucky. If that works for you, fine.

    If Option 2 seems more plausible, then why would the people who control the world’s oil NOT act as quickly as possible to control the oil? I don’t think business leaders are dumb but they are often arrogant manipulative control freaks. It’s more practical than paranoid to follow changes in corporate money and/or power as they relate to this catastrophe when seeking answers.

    For the paranoid types or USO chasers, you’ll get more fun out of speculating what could be hidden under the water that someone would either want to draw attention to or hide from satellite photos with a massive layer of oil.

  52. Anonymous says:

    The oil blow-out in deep water is very serious because water is lighter than rock. Oil pressure at the ocean floor is very great, and thus the oil is hard to stop once it starts flowing. Rig workers are not skilled in physics, and so blow-outs occur “easily”. The slow rate of drilling should be investigated for a cause. The cause of the blow-out should also be investigated carefully. Perhaps, the “causes” are the same “cause”.

  53. Lobster says:

    I know that people died, I know that it’s an ecological disaster, I know that hundreds of millions of dollars have been lost, I know it’s a tragedy… but I still think that picture above is strangely beautiful.

    Not so much the fire, really. I’ve always had a thing for twisted, destroyed structures, particularly in water. Part fascination, part irrational fear. If it wasn’t burning, I’d love to explore it.

    Too bad it sank.

  54. Scott says:

    What’s with all the “click here”? Is this a blog post from 2000 or something?

    Otherwise, thanks for the note of sanity.

  55. Anonymous says:

    Our Earth is bleeding from a main artery, and this will be a major story for the rest of your lives. Once our planet spirals out of control maybe a few chosen ones will have the luxury of living on the space station. Damn BP and Damn the government for allowing drilling underneath our ocean’s floor in the first place. Hoe do you like that fancy SUV now? God help us all.

  56. Anonymous says:

    Now BP is working in the Oil Spill Film, directed by Steven Spillberg http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Db49KCHftCE

  57. Anonymous says:

    The official story just took a turn for the weird: Seven BP executives were on the rig celebrating its safety record. The blast took place a couple rooms away; all were injured and some were trapped for a while before escaping.

    http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/ap/top/all/6995635.html

  58. moosehunter says:

    British Petroleum

    Bringing oil to american shores

  59. Anonymous says:

    Sorcha’s attempting to drag the Ancients of Mu Mu through the mud, eh? Hey, they’re justified, and they’re ancient…

  60. Anonymous says:

    The obvious answer is that the well struck an oil storage chamber used by the hollow earth aliens. They have responded by blowing up the rig. We need to make contact with the underworld Nazis and accept a deal with Hitler’s brain to fight the aliens.

    I think Limbaugh mentioned this on his show.

  61. Phlip says:

    oh, my, how unusual. The corporatists don’t have a leg to stand on…

    …so all they can play is the “terrorists!” card!

    Gee, maybe Faisal pulled it off – with a perfectly executed plan in absolute secrecy!

  62. Robbo says:

    Someone farted.

  63. Teller says:

    How could a guy blow up an oil rig in the Gulf then fail to detonate an SUV in Times Square? It just doesn’t make sense.

  64. genre slur says:

    …and they drive an ice-cream sub?

  65. Anonymous says:

    We need Mad Martigan to convince Sorcha to forsake her evil mother and fight to restore Alora D’Annon to her rightful place!

  66. Anonymous says:

    Suicide dolphins?

  67. Anonymous says:

    Mission carried out under orders from Alvin, by Iranian speaking French dolphins armed in Cuba by the North Koreans.

    And they didn’t ‘habituer’ themselves with only “frickin’ laser beams”

  68. DJBudSonic says:

    I don’t think the characterization of the site rense.com as far-right and anti-Semitic is quite accurate; I have always viewed it as a decent news aggregator of far-out stories, often they are among the first to point to articles that only become ‘mainstream’ news many days or weeks later. Sure there are many anti-Semitic stories on there, and even far-right (whatever that means), but I have always viewed this as a result of their casting a wide net for stories. They certainly cover many of the same topics as Boing Boing. (Crop circles, privacy issues, computer science, space exploration, personal rights, Sci-Fi) I wonder how a casual reader of Boing-Boing would characterize it’s content? Far-left, or anti-consumerist for it’s love of DIY, or what?

    • Arthur Goldwag says:

      I was thinking of Rense’s fulsome obituary for Eustace Mullins, who was as anti-Semitic as anyone who has ever lived. His website, I admit, is full of intriguing things, but many of them–for example its aggregation of “proofs” for the Protocols of the Elders of Zion, its collection of David Duke videos–are unambiguously rightist.

  69. Anonymous says:

    You have never worked labor or been on a boat to think “it’s a small step”. Spiking is done alone in a forest with a piece of baked clay. On this tech island a worker’s time is extremely scheduled and your ‘team’ knows what your doing and where you are – 24/7. Or, maybe you think that it was a ‘green’ assault team that slipped aboard. Quit watching so many movies – your small step is from reality to fantasy.

  70. Jack says:

    The reality is turning out to be more bone-headedly horrific. Seems like all safety measures designed to stop something like this happening were undermined on orders of BP for reasons not exactly clear.

    Basically, management overriding the knowledge and experience of engineers for what exactly?

    BP = Beyond Putzes!

  71. JayByrd says:

    It’s simple.
    The Bermuda Triangle is growing and now encompasses New Orleans, Haiti and Iceland.

  72. Anonymous says:

    Radio Ecoshock has a 1 hour special on the Gulf Gusher. Interviews with Riki Ott, Exxon Valdez spill expert; Peak Oil guru Richard Heinberg; Antonia Juhasz from Global Currents on BP lobby efforts; and former Shell International VP Anita Burke with the inside track.

    Plus a new song for the event “Corporate Catastrophe”

    http://www.ecoshock.net/eshock10/ES_100507_Show_LoFi.mp3

  73. Anonymous says:

    Ah – i see from your posts you are approaching the truth – the godhead Vaaaal deemed it necessary that we puny humans tap into the deep veins of our Earth in order to unleash the unholy ‘shizma’ as a prerequisite to massive harvesting of our souls. Joke ? Not fukkin really , this DEEP CRUST gusher is going to kill the oceans & us , learn to ingest junk !

  74. coaxial says:

    This has the marking of the Wolfgang L. Martin Society all over it.

  75. Darran Edmundson says:

    Send Uri Geller down in fricken bathysphere …

  76. Anonymous says:

    Nope, The Flying Spaghetti Monster did it …

  77. Anonymous says:

    We are running out of oil. The oil companies are taking more risks to continue supply. Simple. Watch Collapse.

  78. VagabondAstronomer says:

    I blame Alvin and the Chipmunks. Squeaky little bastards…

  79. AllisonWunderland says:

    I’ll have whatever it is they’re smoking.

  80. SamSam says:

    Guys, it’s obvious:

    Obama wants to stay president for as long as possible, right? But the constitution says that he may only serve as president for a maximum of eight years. So…

    Obama is a smart guy. I probably studied physics in highschool. He knows full well that a hollow sphere rolls slower than a solid one, because it has a higher rotational mass. (He went on to study law or whatever later, though, so ignored the fact that the two spheres must have the same mass).

    So he figured that the faster oil can be extracted from the ground, the slower the Earth would turn. The slower the earth turns, the longer the day is. The longer the day, the longer eight years will be, and the longer Obama gets to be president. (He’s also pushing to define “year” based on the number of days, not the position of the Earth.)

    Obama tried to push for a new law that would require all companies to start off-shore drilling immediately, but by the time Ram Emmanuel and Al Gore were through with it, it had lost all its teeth and the requirements were stripped. Obama knew that more extreme measures were required.

    So he sent a Cuban-Iranian SWAT team to blow up the oil rig, which they did. The end. (While they were there, BTW, they also killed a dog and found a small amount of pot, but that’s been ignored by the Obama-loving MSM so far.)

  81. Anonymous says:

    No, no, don’t you see? This was an elaborate plan to expand off shore drilling! Think about it, the best solution they have is to contain the leaking oil, while they build *more* rigs to drain the oil field before it all leaks uncontrolled into the gulf. As they begin this work, they prey on fears of further such disasters, and argue the only safe solution is to drain all the other oil fields before another well goes down! After all, if they just close up shop and stop maintaining the existing well heads, the caps will fail, and the oil will start gushing out, and then they won’t even be able to try and seal the next leaking well.

    The only solution to save the oceans from leaking wells is now, “Drill Baby, Drill!”

  82. dw_funk says:

    There’s nothing more beautiful than the deep rabbit hole dug by a good conspiracy theorist.

    That being said, while I thought the “let’s drop a huge box on it and see if that helps” idea was pretty crazy, the NUKE IT FROM ORBIT/A DRONE MINI-SUB option might be crazy enough to work.

    • Phlip says:

      > NUKE IT FROM ORBIT/A DRONE MINI-SUB option

      might create a huge sump, leaking oil from thousands of vents, instead of just one gusher.

      step 1: put a dome over the gusher & start vacuuming up the oil

      Step 2: put long, expensive wells down to the field to relieve the pressure

      Step 3: put a well all the way to the bottom of this one, and plug it with concrete.

      Expect the oil rate to slowly go down over time, as each fix works, and expect about a year until the all-clear.

      Bye-bye, Gulf ecosystem!

      • Anonymous says:

        Let’sexpand on Point #2: Winch the dome off the Capitol Building and lower it over the pipe. The off-setting blow should neutralize it!

  83. Anonymous says:

    Is bp open for ideas on how to stop the leak. I would like to through some ideas out there.

    would need some facts on the pipe and psi of oil coming out.
    what is the inside diameter of the pipe?
    what is the oil psi of oil coming out of the pipe?

    would like to help stop the leak.

    Bill Wilson

  84. Anonymous says:

    Not all conspiracy theories are batshit, thanks very much. Goldman Sachs and Halliburton are involved in this oil disaster. If you still trust them, then YOU need your head examined, not the conspiracy theorists.

  85. Anonymous says:

    “I mean, it’s clearly a small step from spiking trees to blowing up oil rigs.”

    Or burning down mansions and setting fire to cars. Impossible! So improbable! The hell you say!

  86. Anonymous says:

    They should have nuked it on day two. It will seal the leak. This will all come out in a year or two, after the gulf has been destroyed and with it all the tourism for several states.

  87. Trotsky says:

    I blame the Jews.

  88. OtiGoji says:

    Obviously! I mean, clearly… the conspirator covered up all the evidence, which proves what they always do… they’ll do it every time…

  89. Trotsky says:

    I have been experiencing a particularly mediocre run at Flight Control HD lately and I blame the Jews for that as well.

  90. Anonymous says:

    thus illustrating that to our minds these whacked out conspiracies are more acceptable and digestible than the reality of complete and total lack of accountability on behalf of every decision maker that led to this moment.

  91. Cowicide says:

    to radical environmentalists, the destruction of the Gulf is a small price to pay to save the Gulf from destruction.

    The sad thing is the conservative people listening to Rush and these other idiots won’t ever piece together how ludicrous this is. Crap in …. crap back out again…. and so it spreads.

  92. Anonymous says:

    My experience has taught met that humans don’t really need conspiracies to foul things up. We do that just fine on our own.

  93. JasonsRobot says:

    I find it telling that at least 2 people from the Bush admin think it’s reasonable to think that the President would engage in a conspiracy to cause such destruction merely for political or personal reasons.

  94. Trotsky says:

    Also, my hot pocket did not heat uniformly.

    I blame tiny Jews who live in my microwave.

    • Antinous / Moderator says:

      It’s called the Single Agent of Blame. It could be your mother, the Templars, Alvin and the Chipmunks. Whatever bad thing happens, you pin it on them.

  95. Anonymous says:

    I blame humans.

  96. Mark Gordon says:

    Clearly, Cape Wind advocates were behind this. Between coal mine disasters and oil rig disasters, it’s hard for opponents of wind farms to make a serious case. Now I’m just waiting for “The Daily Show” to report a major wind spill off the coast of New England.

  97. Rob Beschizza says:

    My vote: energy weapon.

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