By Cory Doctorow at 10:27 am Fri, May 7, 2010
I lust after Bigby’s Crushing Thirst Destroyer, but $42.00 shipping to Canada is just a little past my personal “But it must be mine!” threshold. *sigh*
The Illithid Brain Juice is quite tasty, but way too sweet for me to drink a whole bottle of. My D&D group almost immediately switched back to fancy beers and wine.
…and it’s “on backorder until the end of May.”
This stuff is awful, really. It doesn’t taste like anything but inverted sugar. Probably 1000 calories per bottle, too.
It’s 180 calories, not 1000, and of course it tastes like inverted sugar, that’s the first item on the list after water. What did you expect?
Labels – learn to read them.
I â™¥ Jones, but haven’t tried or seen these yet. Yes, they do taste different (to those of us in the US), since they use sugar instead of corn syrup. I know, weird.
Those who crave a more structured, rules-based soda with a strong competitive element can try Jones’ line of Magic the Gathering sodas:
I’m sticking with Jolt, though I miss the 2L bottles.
Dwarven Draught should be alcoholic, no doubt.
Who’s the artist for these labels?
It’s not bad, although the shipping charge is nuts.
One disappointment, which I didn’t find out about until later, is that they actually say the name of the (relatively pedestrian) flavor on the bottle. I was hoping tha that they would make unique flavors – they have done this before with both tasty and nasty results. But even if it is just grape soda, I want to maintain the fantasy that I’m drinking Illithid brain juice, damn it! Otherwise, you’re basically paying for a label with fantasy art on it.
But where’s the Mountain Deeeewww?
I love Jones, but it seems that over the last year or so, they’ve been having financial issues. :( At one point I think another company was considering buying them out. Not sure what caused the woes of this company, if it was mismanagement or something else.
Yet another reason why Jones is the Official Nerd Soda.
Now these I’d drink! First of all, cane sugar doesn’t taste weird to those of us who remember and appreciate soda from before the Reagan Administration. When I start raking in the millions (any week now, honest!), my first luxury will be to ship Dublin Dr Pepper to my door every week. Beats today’s corn syrup recipe into a cocked hat.
But these look quite yummy. I particularly salivate at Eldritch Blast. Lovecraft himself would approve of that ghastly green hue. I just hope these taste better than the Jones Holiday 2005 box set I have yet to open. Never mind that 5-year-old soda won’t be particularly good under any circumstance; the fact that the set includes Turkey & Gravy soda, Cranberry, Stuffing, Pumpkin Pie, and Brussels Sprout flavors basically ensures I’ll never, ever be tempted to open them.
The Brussels Sprouts one tastes like butter, actually. not as terrible as the Turkey one. Cranberry was the only drinkable flavor of the lot.
No magic missile?
I used to enjoy DAVE by Jones Soda Co. Had a nice taste and was green tea based. But due to the other noteworthy ingredient…Hemp Juice…it was removed from the shelves and Jones has no plans to market it ever again.
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