Science reporting officially dead at CNN

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Given a 50/50 random chance choice of flag-labeled food boxes, Paul the Octopus has "picked" winners in the six World Cup games played by the German national soccer team.

CNN reporter Paul Armstrong thinks this means Paul the Octopus is psychic.

To quote Dave Barry, "I am not making this up."

Can an octopus really be psychic?

Michelle Childerley, who describes herself as an animal communications expert, told CNN that all animals -- as well as humans -- possess a psychic ability, with telepathy the main way of communicating among many species. She says dogs can often sense what an owner wants before they vocalize it.

As for as Paul's ability to predict a football result, Childerley claims the octopus is perfectly aware of what he is being asked. "He's picking up on what everyone around him is thinking," she said. "He knows there are two boxes which represent two sides, so he's basically tuned in to the more positive team at the moment he makes his choice."

Seriously. A professional journalist at a publication that was not The Weekly World News wrote that. And professional editors published it. If you're in a Starbucks in Killeen, Texas today and your coffee drinking is interrupted by frantic sobbing and/or manic screaming...well, I apologize in advance.