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New aviation risk: pleats

Cory Doctorow at 8:03 am Tue, Nov 16, 2010

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NDR, the German public radio broadcaster, reports that airport pornoscanners are unable to cope with pleats:
While some passengers are being asked to remove thicker clothes such as jumpers, NDR reported that the devices are regularly malfunctioning due to creases in lighter clothes such as blouses and skirts.
'Naked' scanners fooled by creased clothing (Thanks, Fipi Lele!)
  • Man at San Diego airport opts out of porno scanner and grope, told ...
  • We Won't Fly: national aviation opt-out day in protest of TSA ...
  • Will TSA genital grope/full frontal nudity "security" make you fly ...

I write books. My latest is a YA science fiction novel called Homeland (it's the sequel to Little Brother). More books: Rapture of the Nerds (a novel, with Charlie Stross); With a Little Help (short stories); and The Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow (novella and nonfic). I speak all over the place and I tweet and tumble, too.

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  • Anonymous

    If the radiation only penetrates to the skin and no further (as claimed by the fascists in charge), how about leather? Could this force a comeback of 80′s disco leather pants?

    • Anonymous

      It actually goes a bit deeper than the just the skin… You can see “superficial” bones like the shins.

  • Marshall

    Awesome. I am so wearing my hakama pants next time I fly. Anything to fuck with these guys at this point.

  • pkm

    I know this is old, but what about ben wa balls? I’m flying tomorrow. I have glass ones and ones with stainless steel inside. Please advise.

  • Ichabod

    OK,,,next time in the airport my formal kilt sans boxers, enjoy TSA enjoy!

    • Skep

      “Ichabod

      OK,,,next time in the airport my formal kilt sans boxers, enjoy TSA enjoy!
      “

      You could get a whole group of people together and do that. You could call it a Commando Raid. ;-)

  • js7a

    This suggests to me that the skin dose is probably thousands, not hundreds, of times the equivalent whole body dose. The pilots’ union may very well be right about the radiation risk to flight crews.

  • Chris Tucker

    TSA lackey: “Are you wearing anything under your kilt, sir?”

    Kilt-wearing passenger: “Yeah. Your girlfriend’s lipstick!”

    Hilarity Ensues.

  • Gelfin

    Pleated pants: not just a fashion crime anymore.

  • Skep

    Woo Hoo! Another potential victory for kilts!!!.

    Err, are people going to be asked to remove coats *and* kilts before going through the porno scanners?

  • penguinchris

    I accidentally bought some pleated pants a few months ago, from a final sale clearance rack. They actually fit perfectly, but ugh – pleats. Perhaps they’ll be of some use after all, though :)

  • arikol

    Am I wearin’ sumthin’ underr this kilt?
    Well, that’s sumthin’ fer ya to find out, innit?

  • BookGuy

    A new regulation coming to an airport near you: All passengers must limit clothing to smooth cylinders of fabric made of sheer material that can be easily lifted and/or groped under by TSA employees. Undergarments not allowed.

  • arikol

    But seriously, here’s a well thought out, intelligent and practical article about how to improve airport security. Who pretends to know so much about it? An Israeli security specialist. They know their airport security. Really!

    http://www.thestar.com/news/world/article/744199—israelification-high-security-little-bother

    • Chris S

      …not all of the factors that result in Israeli success are present in North America.

      http://www.schneier.com/blog/archives/2010/01/adopting_the_is.html

    • Cara D

      Thanks for posting that link! I remember reading it when it was first published and I’ve been looking for it ever since. I think it really shows how the TSA really is doing it wrong.

    • turn_self_off

      That reinforces the suspicion that US “intelligence” and such are lobbied to sell tech, not provide real security. How long have the various intelligence branches focused more on sats and technical interception then good old people on the ground observing and talking to others?

      Still, eye contact. I wonder how many false positives the Israeli system gets from aspies…

  • phillamb168

    Haha! For serious wearing my kilt the next time I go to the US. Take THAT, TSA. On a more serious note I still will not be traveling through US airports any time soon. I don’t want me, my wife or my child being exposed to potentially unsafe radiation any more than we have to be. And if that means paying a little extra to fly into Montreal or Toronto and renting a car/taking a train, so be it. I’m glad most of the citizenry are finally getting riled up about all this.

  • ill lich

    I have decided I will opt out of the scanner, request the body search, DEMAND the cavity search, and moan and groan in mock ecstasy while they do their business; perhaps giving them what they want will piss them off more than being uncooperative, but what are they gonna do, arrest me for being cooperative?

    • dole

      Thin sweatpants: they’re not just for the strip club anymore.

    • jjsaul

      Oh, I think there could be uncomfortable consequences not involving arrest.

      You know the old myth about catching monkeys by putting a treat in a jar with a narrow opening on the assumption that they won’t think to let go of the treat to get their paw free? Imagine the TSA agent as the monkey, and your prostate as the treat.

  • Anonymous

    What about fat rolls?

  • Anonymous

    Somebody please tell me: Is there a material that will absorb the backscatter x-rays while not setting off the metal detector? If so, I want a pair of underwear made out of it, or at the very least use strips of it to spell out “FUCK YOU TSA” on my undershirt.

  • iamanumlaut

    So Catholic school girl outfits will be all the rage for terrorists?

  • pKp

    @arikol : this is seriously the best article I’ve ever read about the subject. It needs to be on BB.

  • billstewart

    I’ve thought about wearing my kilt through the airport, either to mess with TSA or simply because it’s an easy way to pack it, but if you’re wearing a relatively traditional kilt design as opposed to a Utilikilt, the structure depends on having a big heavy belt (which often has one or two metal bits besides the buckle), and there are often a couple of other straps along the waistband that also have metal parts, and maybe a couple of kilt pins. And of course that’s not counting the sgian-dubh in your sock or the knife in your sporran…

  • papiermeister

    I wonder if pleats were responsible for humorist Dave Barry’s problematic “blurred groin” as reported on NPR’s All Things Considered 11/15?

    http://www.npr.org/2010/11/15/131338172/humorist-dave-barry-and-the-tsa

    I love how host Robert Siegel intros the segment:
    ROBERT SIEGEL, host:
    Well, now to someone whose junk was recently touched: humorist Dave Barry.
    That alone is worth all the money I give to public radio!

  • muteboy

    The “Israelification” method seems to involve vastly increased behavioral profiling. Count me out.

  • cupcakecalamity

    What’s really precious about this whole thing is that nobody but TSA cares. While waiting at our gate in the Baltimore airport this summer, my boyfriend happened upon a suitcase stuffed into a trashcan. The security line/wait was extremely backed up that day, they said due to a breach, so we decided we should let someone know. Two employees of the airport walked by shortly thereafter, and my boyfriend told them about the mysterious, unatended parcel, just like the announcement every 10 minutes tells you to. They proceeded to tell my boyfriend that it wasn’t their problem because they were baggage handlers.

    • turn_self_off

      And if they made it their problem their super would give them a yelling for not doing their job. Bureaucracy at work, basically.

  • turn_self_off

    i do wonder if this will be back in fashion
    https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/Union_suit

    only in materials that plays havoc with the scanners.

  • Art

    Looks like it’s time to get my 1984 “Girbauds” out of storage.

  • Daemon

    The only reason any terrorist would even bother trying to do anything to a plane now is to keep the security paranoia boiling along merrily.

    You want to kill people, detonate yourself in the giant line in front of the security checkpoint.

  • hubbledeej

    There is, inevitably, a comment on these TSA posts recommending how we should pretend to sexually enjoy being groped. I’ve heard that joke (which was never funny in the first place) enough times now, thanks.

  • bardfinn

    “Metallica” is not just a rock band, despite Google’s insistence to the contrary. (it’s also thread.)

  • Phikus

    Until now, the TSA has been oblivious to the pleats of air travelers.

    • Felton / Moderator

      Obviously they won’t be fold again.

      • Phikus

        Not to skirt the issue, but it’s good to be a slacker sometimes.

      • bardfinn

        Of crease not!