Confessions of a Disney World castmember

In this hilarious monologue, Adande Swoozie recounts his years as a part-time castmember at Disney-MGM Studios at Walt Disney World, and the gustatory perks thereof.

Confessions of a Disney Employee (via Reddit)

I write books. My latest is a YA science fiction novel called Homeland (it's the sequel to Little Brother). More books: Rapture of the Nerds (a novel, with Charlie Stross); With a Little Help (short stories); and The Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow (novella and nonfic). I speak all over the place and I tweet and tumble, too.

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Anonymous

I was a Disney College Program Intern. I can so relate to all of this! All of my managers hated me. And I had a snitch that turned me in for coughing on stage, the day my program ended! lol
Still the best memories of my life so far though!
Whereismyrobot

This guy wishes he had a Dane Cook costume.
Anonymous

“To be morally repulsed by it is just as ridiculous as saying Notes From Underground is a crappy book because the narrator couldn’t manage his finances very well.”

Bahaha, nicely put.
gwailo_joe

Good video: funny. . .nice stick-folks to match the narrative.

Sensitivity is wise and proper re: racial topics, but over-sensitivity is neither hip nor fun to be around. . .

some of y’alls needs to chill. . .eat something tasty and feel better: just don’t get obeast :D
- jpeavy1
  
  hahaha obeast, f’n priceless.
  
  -jp
Anonymous

This was FANTASTIC. Sorry to say, the only person I know who works at Disney is actually my brother who is Security. You’re awesome. Looking forward to more of these posts!!!
andigopow

It’s always interesting to hear about the behind-the-scenes goings-on at theme parks but the only thing hilarious about this monologue was Adande’s pronunciation of “obese.”
Anonymous

Free food = 70% Off?
I thought free was free…
- Anonymous
  
  No doubt…free is free, not 70% off.
osmo

For us who have never worked at any Disney parks how do the unions fare there? I heard that Disney Land Paris have some good unions working the area but how is it in the US?
- nemo
  
  There are unions in California, so the workers there fare reasonably well. The unions are, well, unions, so they’re not perfect, but the workers are better off than they are in Florida. There are no unions in Florida, since it’s a “right to work” state.
  - Anonymous
    
    There’s unions at the FL parks too, the workers just have the choice to join or not.
  - Anonymous
    
    Thats not true. Im a wdw castmember and we definitely have a union. I’m part of it.
  - Anonymous
    
    I worked for Disney World in Florida. There is definitely a union.
Hools Verne

“It’s like the same food they serve the guests but 70% off”

So what you’d pay for it at a regular McDonald’s then? Loved the video.
Anonymous

As an over-50, huge Disney World Fan, I found this wonderfully irreverant and funny. Thanks. Debra
ryane

when I worked there in the mid-90s, the employee cafeteria was better than the food we served the customers.

of course, I worked at one of the largest fast food establishments in the world when I was there. (Cosmic Ray’s)
Regulas

Wow! This sounds exactly like my experience working in banking, (except for the free food). The excellent orientation, the personality types (omg, the snitches!); people just snapping and walking off during their lunch break and never coming back. Sounds exactly the same, except for the fun times and the wanting to get back in …
VICTOR JIMENEZ

“Hideo Kojima, dont fail me now!”

This guy is awesome.
signsofrain

Isn’t it kind of dumb to admit that you stole from your employer on YouTube?
CastanhasDoPara

“…taking the 8:30 magnets is harmless…”

“Stealing from the employer’s inventory is wrong. Whether it be…”

It is absurd. Just pick one guy. Are you for harmless fun or is it stealing. Before you answer remember that this company paid money for the time magnet and would have to spend more to replace it. I know I am hammering on a very narrow aspect of your position here but it’s logical fallacies like these that make or break an argument. And in the case of stealing it is pretty black and white. Just so long as we are talking letter of the law versus spirit of the law. After all if the guy was just stealing and bragging because he could and liked being a dick for no reason then I would side more with the “it’s stealing” angle, since he seems to have a clear and articulate reason for the theft I am more apt to side with the “harmless fun/quid pro quo” angle.

Full disclosure, I have stolen from employers before and not just because I could but because they had it coming. I feel completely justified for my youthful exploits and were I to take the time to make an artistic representation of them as this young man did I would hope they would learn a lesson or two. Specifically, “hey idiots, wake up. I’m sure I am not the only one that did this… perhaps you would like to review the way you do business and treat people (INCLUDING EMPLOYEES) with dignity and respect. In order that your business may continue to prosper.” Fat f#cking chance on that one though…
Rajio

So after watching thsi, nothing unique or ineresting about Disney is revealed. it sounds like any other job. “omg the managers hate me!” and “nobody notices if im late!” omg!

then it devolves into the guy being a jerk, stealing from his employer. Great.
James

Wouldn’t it be easier to just ask to be invited to someone’s private party at a Disney park, rather than asking to sneak in to someone’s party?

I remember going to KLOS’ party when ToonTown opened at Disneyland maybe twenty years ago. Yes, the food (and the major attractions) were free.

BoingBoing should definitely host one of these.
CastanhasDoPara

“Way to uphold the entire basis of open dialogue and discussion that I find 99% of BoingBoing represents.”

Oh, yeah, almost missed that one. That’s somewhat analogous to the war-vet years ago that screamed “I fought in a war and lost a leg for your freedom you ungrateful punks.” While I was protesting something (doesn’t really matter what.) My answer was “thanks for fighting for my right to free speech, assembly, and petition for redress of grievances.” (You hypocritical so and so.) I guess I could have just said STFU-GTFO. Now that would have been something to grouse about. As it is, at no point did I then or now say that. Your opinion is just was welcome as it ever was.

So basically don’t get it twisted. Bring your A-game to BB. I’ve been smacked a few times on this forum and consider it a privilege to have my position scrutinized by ALL the happy mutants whether they agree with me or not.
stagewalker

For an actually funny exploration of life as a Disney Cast Member, people should check out “Working for the Mouse” (Excerpts are up at http://www.youtube.com/user/WorkingfortheMouse ). I know that Mr. Allen is working on a book version of the show, but it’ll be tough to match his live performance.
quori

My wife and I honeymooned in Disney, and we took our kids there once….with every intention of going back again and again!

We love the place. You think being an employee there is loathsome or troubling in some manner? Guess what….GRASS IS NOT GREENER!

If you do not LOVE what you do, you are not going to LOVE your employer or workplace. Welcome to adulthood kid. The majority of us don’t love what we do, but we put aside that “pursue your passion” mindset to ensure our children are fed, bills are paid, debts are settled, etc. Its not glamorous or anything to be sure…but this is life for the majority of people around the world. We are doing what we can to survive.

Was the video humorous…yes. But in the end, you are an immature child (acting like one anyway) who instead of doing the RESPONSIBLE thing and just quit your job and seek gainful employment elsewhere; you instead stole, lied, and acted with no composure or decorum. Worse yet, you create this video with the notion of “HA HA, look how awesome I am. Look what I got away with. Look how those fools didn’t see what I was doing right under their noses!”

What you did was what I would have expected from a teenager. You did something wrong; and instead of owing up to it with your parents, you covered your tracks and then bragged to all your friends how you got away with some big crime.

Poor form all in all.

The item I forgive which was funny, and rather harmless was the time slot magnet. That, if an associate of mine had something to that effect, would have given me a laugh. I would have scolded, but not formerly reprimanded the person, and simply asked they return the magnets…and keep one as a trophy of the deed.
- wrybread
  
  “What you did was what I would have expected from a teenager.”
  
  Um… you realize he’s talking about a job he had when he was 16 years old, right?
- Anonymous
  
  just fyi, most comedic things are not mature, but they appeal to our “inner child”. also, i believe this guy said he was 16 or so when he worked there. saying you don’t approve of stealing pencils but do approve of stealing magnets is hilarious. finally, to say most people don’t like their job or it’s not their ideal job may or may not be right, but i believe you get the job you work for, and if you put in the effort anything can be achieved. life can be better if you want it to be.
- CastanhasDoPara
  
  You’re about a step away from “GET OFF MY LAWN!” Seriously, you were never a teenager and never had a rebellious streak? Right. I mean I suppose it is possible but by my estimation that probably makes you one of the snitches or at least too close for comfort.
  
  Also you can’t be all “take responsibility, suck it up and be a good boy” and in the same breath support trophy taking. Make up your mind, are you a stick in the mud or do you think people should have a little harmless fun or quid pro quo. (Especially while working for a soul crushing, life stealing behemoth like Disney, that according to his narrative had no regard for his time or other responsibilities. After all the whole reason he went rouge was the three hour mandated over time BS to watch out for lost guests at a private party. Essentially saying screw you kid Disney and it’s rich patrons fun are more important than whatever mediocre stuff you have going on in your life.)
  
  Another thing in general. I think that the “look what I got away with, right under their noses” thing was one of the main points to this confession. Sort of like saying hey idiots wake up, I’m probably not the only one doing this stuff and this is why.
  - quori
    
    I can most definitely take both stances. As Chris Rock so perfectly points out…no one is all one thing or the other. Sometimes you are conservative, other times your liberal.
    
    Again, taking the 8:30 magnets is harmless generally speaking. It didn’t cost them business. I am sure they were still able to communicate show times in another manner. In the end, it probably did not change a thing about the show being performed.
    
    Stealing from the employer’s inventory is wrong. Whether it be a pencil or something more substantive, it is theft. Did I say he should have been thrown in Alcatraz for stealing a pencil set, no. But bragging about it is not smart either.
    
    I recall vividly the one and only time as a kid when I stole a $5 transformer toy and was caught. I still tell that story today, not with pride, but with humility and a touch of shame. Laughing at myself and sharing in that vulnerability and childhood mistake with others.
    
    And your assumption that I would snitch is wrong. I would however be the co-worker or friend that would tell him…JUST QUIT! Why be here if you don’t like it! I’d eaten Disney food, is it good…sure. But man, I can get a cheeseburger elsewhere for my money. I would be a voice of REASON to him, not a snitch to those who would punish him. And his tone is not that of hey guess what’s really happening. His tone was far more mocking than that.
    
    And maybe I am telling him to get off my lawn. I have numerous times told my kids, stay off the neighbors lawn unless you first ASK them to go on it or play in their yard. Since when has having respect for others property and business been a bad thing? Just because one CAN do something, doesn’t mean they have the RIGHT to it.
    
    To wrybread – Yes I know he was a teenager at the time, which is why I stated its exactly what I would have expected. However, I would expect being a little older and a little wiser he might have thought twice about putting this together. Unless this was mroe about taking the Bourdain approach (successful as it was for him) about creating/producing an insider look at the seedy underground of what happens behind the curtain. an expose so to speak. But I didn’t get that tone.
    - wrybread
      
      > However, I would expect being a little older and a little wiser
      > he might have thought twice about putting this together.
      
      Oh I get it, he should just cower in shame for his despicable act. You know, like all artists do.
      - quori
        
        You are assuming his intentions to be that of an artist making a commentary. Perhaps it is. We don’t know that for sure, and yet you dismiss my view that its not art; and it really is more an expose and gloating of his past deeds.
        
        Either one of us could be right, I am more than willing to see either side – merely claiming my perspective that overall, I don’t like this.
        
        And yet your sarcastic tone filled with admonishment towards me and my view is loud and clear in your reply as well as CastanhasDoPara’s reply. I’m finding myself forced to defend my perspective; as opposed to you both being open to it and that perhaps I am right.
        
        Way to uphold the entire basis of open dialogue and discussion that I find 99% of BoingBoing represents.
      - wrybread
        
        being open to it and that perhaps I am right.
        
        Its just so absurd, and representative of a “get off my lawn” (as CastanhasDoPara nicely put it) point of view, that I find myself as viscerally opposed to it as I do when someone holds a Palin For President sign.
        
        Back to the subject, which I for some reason still find interesting:
        
        You are assuming his intentions to be that of an artist making a commentary. Perhaps it is. We don’t know that for sure, and yet you dismiss my view that its not art; and it really is more an expose and gloating of his past deeds.
        
        So you think he went to the trouble of animating this whole story just to write an expose? Can you imagine how much time it took to make something like this? 50 hours? 100? This is art, or if you’re a stickler for a very narrow definition of that word, its a creative project, like a stand-up comedy skit. But the important point is that its made to be funny, and existential in the sense that its a comment on what happens to the human soul when faced with absurd situations. To be morally repulsed by it is just as ridiculous as saying Notes From Underground is a crappy book because the narrator couldn’t manage his finances very well.
Anonymous

first, the guy stole pencils off people’s desks, don’t even think that’s stealing, i mean most places give away pens & pencils w/ their name on it. and the magnets, well, they’re MAGNETS, really, not a serious crime or even a crime at all in my opinion. he said he wanted to get fired, which would have been a proper punishment for that stuff anyways. and why the heck can only people who want to get fired not get caught doing stupid, fun things at work??? this guy’s a goofball for sure, and i can relate to the good food @ work thing, used to work at a place with great food and i miss it…
Anonymous

Great video!! thanks for sharing it.
bademailname

He had me until 2:36, when made an overtly racist comment. I turned it off.
- Scixual
  
  If you’d hung out a little longer for context, you’d know that he, himself is black, and was talking a bit more about himself and his experience than making a racist statement.
- Anonymous
  
  Ummm, maybe if you listened a few seconds later you’d realize that it wasn’t what you thought. Did you know he’s African American? And I, for one, didn’t get any feelings of self-hate from him.
  
  Reply for James: I’m 99.9% sure he was JOKING when asking for the staff id.
  
  Is BoingBoing overfilled with humorless, very literal readers this morning?
  - bademailname
    
    I think I was feeling overly sensitive and altogether very un-internet like at the time. It won’t happen again.
- Anonymous
  
  @bademailname
  
  I think you missed the part where Adande is black…wait does that still make it racist? I never know these days…
Wolfman

Yeah Disney employees have a union, but it doesn’t do jack sh**.
Anonymous

I used to work at Disneyland in California…much of what he said applies there too. There are snitches! I used to get ratted on all the time for not wearing my name tag…but I didn’t work with guests, I worked backstage. I’m like “dude…you see me everyday…and you still need a name tag to know my name??”
carriem

@bademailname: me too
“You can’t give some black people power”??
wtf, man.
- dr. ultimately
  
  he was speaking as a black man himself.
  - delt664
    
    If you are implying that because he is a black man he can make racial comments about black men with impunity, I can assure you the source of racism is irrelevant.
    
    Actually scratch that – holding different standards for what constitutes racism based on the race of the source is in fact racist.
    - oasisob1
      
      Racism is racism, no matter the source. I got to ~2:39 and stopped.
lewis stoole

i concur. i had a silver pass for many years, and it was awesome.
Ernunnos

I have no desire to go to Disney, and his exuberant description of the food is the first thing I’ve ever heard that makes me kinda’ curious. So I guess it’s actually a good commercial for Disney.
MarkM

I steal all the “8:30 Show” magnets.
Boom, you’re coming with me.
THUG LIFE, BABY.
xgad

Love the “8:30 PM” magnet on the fridge at the end.
- Anonymous
  
  Me too! That was my favorite part!
wrybread

Awesome video, totally hilarious, and a nice unique style and voice. Love it. Probably a little early in the morning for some of the humorless folks above.
bboyneko

How is this hilarious? It isn’t even remotely close to yahtzee’s video game reviews for example. Boing boing usually delivers but this is not worthy of our attention.
- Chevan
  
  except yahtzee isn’t all that funny either.
  
  And Anon #2 – the initial orientation food was free, food after that was discounted.
- lewis stoole
  
  maybe in a bitchun society, that would be so
Anonymous

The food is so exceptional at Epcot (especially in Morocco) that I have actual food dreams about it. The rides were fun, the park was pretty, but it’s the yummies that will put me on that plane to Orlando.
bboyneko

Actually I was just in Epcot, and the food is fantastic. Seriously, it’s worth going just for the food there. Also a lot of their resorts have amazing food. I think the best food there was the Pizza at Via Napoli. It blew me away. They host a Food and Wine festival there every year that is supposed to be world-class.
Anonymous

This was awesome. Even more awesome was your beat boxing and Aladdin rendition. Nice voice. XD
Michael Smith

The prime minister of Australia doesn’t have a daughter.
Anonymous

I loved the dark infiltration angle at the end. Very BoingBoing twist.
Emo Pinata

I think some people managed to get through their youthful stints in the service industry without stealing shit.
wrybread

Oh please, he didn’t really steal anything, he’s describing pranks. Its all part of being a healthy kid, especially when working for a crushing beaurocracy. To get turned off to the whole video because of that tiny little element is really laughably self righteous.
phlavor

Name three.
Rajio

Except for the part where he says he stole stuff.
wrybread

He stole pencils! That’s it! The magnets were more like prank vandalism, which I’m guessing is another capital offense in your boring ass mind.

And the comments about him being a racist are equally laughable. He was making a frickin joke.

I don’t know why I care about any of these inane comments, but oh well.
wrybread

He’s talking about a time period when he was a kid! Of course he stole stuff and got up to some mischief. Sheesh, so self-righteous.