Vegan Black Metal Chef: growling your way through dinner

Brian Manowitz is the Vegan Black Metal Chef. Clad in demonic armor ("Btw, all of the armor is rubber, not leather."), he demoniacally growls his way through a vegan recipe for Pad Thai. Subtitles are included for those who find it hard to parse out growlspeak.

Vegan Black Metal Chef Episode 1 Pad Thai (Thanks, Fiver and Zutroy!)

I write books. My latest is a YA science fiction novel called Homeland (it's the sequel to Little Brother). More books: Rapture of the Nerds (a novel, with Charlie Stross); With a Little Help (short stories); and The Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow (novella and nonfic). I speak all over the place and I tweet and tumble, too.

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Tony Moore

This is way better than that Cooking With Mayhem video by Dead and Euronymous. Hail Seitan!
Amira

I’m a professional chef and I also love Black Metal… I think this guy really loves to cook and it’s a pleasure seeing something like this pop up. I’m really happy that this is going viral because he really has his heart in it.
Anonymous

#14 anon in reply to jowlsey

“Whole lot of vegetarian buddhist monks in that part of the world”

Not in Thailand there aren’t. Thai buddhist monks can be vegetarian, but most of them are not, because Therevadan Buddhism makes it clear that Buddha did not stipulate this as a requirement for monks. When you’re ordained, you’re basically signing up to eat what’s put in your bowl, not to be all picky about your diet. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buddhist_vegetarianism

For this reason if you find vegetarian food in Bangkok being prepared for genuine ethical reasons, more often than not it’s Chinese, not Thai, Buddhists that are informing it.

In fact Thai vegetarians are surprisingly rare especially when you’re out of the two main cities. But then, at the other end of things, so are Thai butchers, because slaughtering animals doesn’t fit with Therevadan “Right Livelihood”. So more often than not, the butchers you see (in Bangkok anyway) are likely to be Chinese rather than Thai too.

But never mind all that: Thai food yum yum.
Anonymous

Try wearing rubber clothes in a real kitchen for more than half an hour. You’ll pass out as you are cooked too.
Bryan Price

No leather, yet I wonder where all that tallow is coming from with all those candles?
- Anonymous
  
  Probably parafin.
- travtastic
  
  http://www.google.com/search?q=vegan+candles
  
  Almost got him this time!
- chgoliz
  
  You have to go out of your way to find candles with actual tallow in them these days.
Anonymous

looks, sounds and tastes like great fun to have in the kitchen!

i guess it won’t work with a much more awesome knife?

.~.
robulus

And my day starts with awesomeness. Nice work all round.

Dude needs a mortar and pestle though, and a wok. He would definitely dig it.
wrybread

The secret ingredient is hate.
- Anonymous
  
  that’s right! Hate and Evil!
- museincognito
  
  *lol* There’s a sooo-not-vegan, but similar-musical-genre burger joint in the Windy City that serves one of their wonderful creations with a “side of anger”
  - bja009
    
    I f*ing LOVE Kuma’s.
    - museincognito
      
      Shhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! It’s hard enough getting a table without calling the sneaky batline in advance! ;)
Cosmonaut Zero

Saw this yesterday, and I’m totally eating tofu pad thai today. And I’m not even vegan!
Brad Linder

This is hands-down the best thing on the internet today… or it would be if the subtitles were typo-free.
- shinchan
  
  If you take a look at his website, he hints that the typos/misspellings are intentional. Just all part of the show, folks!
zapan

This clown is pitiful compared to the viking might of the Regular Ordinary Swedish meal time !
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykX2_Jh6LFE
- Gulliver
  
  Oh man, the world NEEDS a VBMC Vs. ROSMT Cookoff.
  
  Does anyone even watch actual TV anymore? How do net works stay solvent with competition like this?!
- Gabriel Amadeus
  
  Damn, you beat me to Regular Ordinary Swedish Mealtime! Vegan Black Metal Chef is a pansy in comparison. Don’t even talk to me about pad thai w/o fish sauce. This is the only recipe I use: http://chezpim.com/cook/pad_thai_for_beginners
  - lewis stoole
    
    he could have made it with fish sauce, vegan fish sauce.
    but you need an asian super market to get it.
    hollywood thai town has it.
    
    i disagree with his cooking instructions. not any knife will do any more. i need one of his.
Anonymous

LOVE this guy. We need more growling vegans :)
Editz

These two were doing this kind of thing years ago:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7hr9RgrdUk
singingdragon

That does not bear a great deal of resemblance to how I make pad thai, but it looks like a pretty good recipe for those willing to forgo the decidedly non-vegan awesomeness that is fish sauce. I gotta say, though; all those awesome knives and costuming, and he couldn’t get himself a decent cauldron for the cooking steps?
jowlsey

Thai food with out fish sauce??? Blaspheme!!!
Oh, wait.
- Anonymous
  
  I’ve got a big ol’ bottle of thai vegetarian fish sauce. Whole lot of vegetarian buddhist monks in that part of the world, considering they were going vegetarian for moral reasons well before anyone in california (also before there was a california). The vegetarian/vegan alternative foods you can find at a well stocked asian market have more variety than a whole foods.
Anonymous

This is all perfectly reasonable.

The gauntlets help protect against any hot oil or water splashes. The full-finger claw ring is handy for adding a dash of salt or other ingredients, as well as testing the consistency of bread, pasta and other foods during the cooking process.

The body armor serves the role of an apron, while the oversized pauldrons (and their spikes, in particular) are handy hanging spots for measuring cups, small pots & pans and even serve as a small, mobile spice rack.

Theoretically, the white grease paint on the face may help with shielding the face from high cooking temperatures, especially in situations where a hood vent is not available. Many chefs have opted for the more convenient mask of vinyl or stainless steel to serve this purpose, though the matter is largely an issue of adherence to tradition.

The music is meant to distract from the chef’s unfortunate vocal damage, likely suffered after tasting an inferior chef’s food.
Bitgod

So I’ve learned that pots are the new utility tool and ALWAYS cook with the heat of SATAN
Anonymous

Veganism is the new black!
Antinous / Moderator

Still not as dark and disturbing as Paula Deen.
spriggan

Oh no here we go again. Vegan/Carnivore/Omnivore fight in 3,2,1…

FIGHT!
- travtastic
  
  Or we could enjoy the video, and not do that.
Anonymous

this one was done 5 years ago, even before black metal cookies

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5mB8rpjh-Vw
arborman

I try not to cook with the heat of Satan, cause the wily bastard tends to burn them

I’m more of a butter my toast with a sense of desperation fellow myself.
Pip_R_Lagenta

Pad Thai is my personal Thai restaurant “benchmark food”. That is to say, when I go into a Thai restaurant that I have never been in before, I order the Pad Thai for comparison and evaluation of the restaurantâ€™s output. Pad Thai is also one of the few Thai foods that I have tried making for myself. So, I will take exception to the instructions for cooking the bean sprouts and the green onion. I like these items raw in my Pad Thai, thank you very much.
Lobster

Yeah… Vegan cuisine. That is definitely… definitely metal.