Vegan Black Metal Chef: growling your way through dinner

Brian Manowitz is the Vegan Black Metal Chef. Clad in demonic armor ("Btw, all of the armor is rubber, not leather."), he demoniacally growls his way through a vegan recipe for Pad Thai. Subtitles are included for those who find it hard to parse out growlspeak.

Vegan Black Metal Chef Episode 1 Pad Thai (Thanks, Fiver and Zutroy!)


  1. This is way better than that Cooking With Mayhem video by Dead and Euronymous. Hail Seitan!

  2. I’m a professional chef and I also love Black Metal… I think this guy really loves to cook and it’s a pleasure seeing something like this pop up. I’m really happy that this is going viral because he really has his heart in it.

  3. No leather, yet I wonder where all that tallow is coming from with all those candles?

    1. You have to go out of your way to find candles with actual tallow in them these days.

  4. looks, sounds and tastes like great fun to have in the kitchen!

    i guess it won’t work with a much more awesome knife?


    1. *lol* There’s a sooo-not-vegan, but similar-musical-genre burger joint in the Windy City that serves one of their wonderful creations with a “side of anger”

        1. Shhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! It’s hard enough getting a table without calling the sneaky batline in advance! ;)

  5. Saw this yesterday, and I’m totally eating tofu pad thai today. And I’m not even vegan!

  6. This is hands-down the best thing on the internet today… or it would be if the subtitles were typo-free.

    1. If you take a look at his website, he hints that the typos/misspellings are intentional. Just all part of the show, folks!

  7. This clown is pitiful compared to the viking might of the Regular Ordinary Swedish meal time !

      1. he could have made it with fish sauce, vegan fish sauce.
        but you need an asian super market to get it.
        hollywood thai town has it.

        i disagree with his cooking instructions. not any knife will do any more. i need one of his.

    1. Oh man, the world NEEDS a VBMC Vs. ROSMT Cookoff.

      Does anyone even watch actual TV anymore? How do net works stay solvent with competition like this?!

  8. That does not bear a great deal of resemblance to how I make pad thai, but it looks like a pretty good recipe for those willing to forgo the decidedly non-vegan awesomeness that is fish sauce. I gotta say, though; all those awesome knives and costuming, and he couldn’t get himself a decent cauldron for the cooking steps?

    1. I’ve got a big ol’ bottle of thai vegetarian fish sauce. Whole lot of vegetarian buddhist monks in that part of the world, considering they were going vegetarian for moral reasons well before anyone in california (also before there was a california). The vegetarian/vegan alternative foods you can find at a well stocked asian market have more variety than a whole foods.

  9. This is all perfectly reasonable.

    The gauntlets help protect against any hot oil or water splashes. The full-finger claw ring is handy for adding a dash of salt or other ingredients, as well as testing the consistency of bread, pasta and other foods during the cooking process.

    The body armor serves the role of an apron, while the oversized pauldrons (and their spikes, in particular) are handy hanging spots for measuring cups, small pots & pans and even serve as a small, mobile spice rack.

    Theoretically, the white grease paint on the face may help with shielding the face from high cooking temperatures, especially in situations where a hood vent is not available. Many chefs have opted for the more convenient mask of vinyl or stainless steel to serve this purpose, though the matter is largely an issue of adherence to tradition.

    The music is meant to distract from the chef’s unfortunate vocal damage, likely suffered after tasting an inferior chef’s food.

  10. Pad Thai is my personal Thai restaurant “benchmark food”. That is to say, when I go into a Thai restaurant that I have never been in before, I order the Pad Thai for comparison and evaluation of the restaurant’s output. Pad Thai is also one of the few Thai foods that I have tried making for myself. So, I will take exception to the instructions for cooking the bean sprouts and the green onion. I like these items raw in my Pad Thai, thank you very much.

  11. #14 anon in reply to jowlsey

    “Whole lot of vegetarian buddhist monks in that part of the world”

    Not in Thailand there aren’t. Thai buddhist monks can be vegetarian, but most of them are not, because Therevadan Buddhism makes it clear that Buddha did not stipulate this as a requirement for monks. When you’re ordained, you’re basically signing up to eat what’s put in your bowl, not to be all picky about your diet.

    For this reason if you find vegetarian food in Bangkok being prepared for genuine ethical reasons, more often than not it’s Chinese, not Thai, Buddhists that are informing it.

    In fact Thai vegetarians are surprisingly rare especially when you’re out of the two main cities. But then, at the other end of things, so are Thai butchers, because slaughtering animals doesn’t fit with Therevadan “Right Livelihood”. So more often than not, the butchers you see (in Bangkok anyway) are likely to be Chinese rather than Thai too.

    But never mind all that: Thai food yum yum.

  12. Try wearing rubber clothes in a real kitchen for more than half an hour. You’ll pass out as you are cooked too.

  13. And my day starts with awesomeness. Nice work all round.

    Dude needs a mortar and pestle though, and a wok. He would definitely dig it.

  14. So I’ve learned that pots are the new utility tool and ALWAYS cook with the heat of SATAN

  15. I try not to cook with the heat of Satan, cause the wily bastard tends to burn them

    I’m more of a butter my toast with a sense of desperation fellow myself.

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