TSA misses four sharp chef's knives while patting down chef for wallet

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65 Responses to “TSA misses four sharp chef's knives while patting down chef for wallet”

  1. Anonymous says:

    No one else has mentioned it so I will: Ceramic chef’s knives?

    • phisrow says:

      @Anon: It isn’t universal; but manufacturers of ceramic knives often include some metal in their designs to avoid being identified as the next Terrifying Security Menace(tm).

      Hard to know whether his were of this type or not.

    • phisrow says:

      @Anon: It isn’t universal; but manufacturers of ceramic knives often include some metal in their designs to avoid being identified as the next Terrifying Security Menace(tm).

      Hard to know whether his were of this type or not.

    • bocomo says:

      i was thinking about the ceramic knives aspect as well

      just another example of why we don’t need the crap the TSA puts us through

      • Blaine says:

        Yeah, like phisrow mentioned a lot of ceramic knife manufacturers add just enough metal to set off a detector for plausible deniability.

        That said, knife material is largely over estimated. This is all, presumably, to prevent an airplane hijacking scenario. Knives are steel and ceramic because those materials are sharp and durable. What you want is something sharp and pointy. Durability isn’t really a factor here.
        It’s not like you need your knife to work as good on your 100th hijacking as your 1st.

        They make nylon knives that are sharp enough to do lethal damage but don’t keep the best edges.

        http://www.worldknives.com/products/blackie-collins-buttonlock-all-nylon-knife-orange-blor-2611.html

        I wouldn’t try and shave with one, but it’s plenty sharp and won’t set off anything.

    • Michael Smith says:

      No one else has mentioned it so I will: Ceramic chef’s knives?

      There is one in my kitchen but the blade feels more like plastic to me. Quite flexible.

  2. Anonymous says:

    I flew on at least two flights with an X-ACTO knife in my pencil bag. It’s the kind of knife that just looks like a pen so I keep it in there and forget about it until I need it.

  3. zyodei says:

    I found it a very interesting experience accidentally going through a metal detector with a large kitchen knife in South Korea. They were almost embarrassingly polite, they took it from me, put it in a paper bag, and handed it back to me as I was leaving the airplane in Seoul. That’s what I call a helpful airline security apparatus…

    http://ancaptees.com/firethetsa.jpg

  4. JM says:

    I time I was boarding a plane with two machine guns, 2 pounds of TNT, a couple of aborted fetuses, 3 grams of crack and one lighter. When they found the lighter I just blamed it on one of the fetuses. After a couple of minutes of ventriloquism, I was hopping my way to my comfy comfy seat.

  5. Modano says:

    Devil’s advocate: one TSA agent fucked up so they should stop looking for knives altogether?

    • Anonymous says:

      How about if they just focus on the people that are likley to be terrorists?? If they weren’t so busy feeling up everybody maybe they could focus their attention where it needs to be.

      I go through more background checks doing my job than any of those rent a cops and still have to let them touch my junk to get on a plane?? What BS.

      Anybody that has worked in the Criminal Justice System will tell you that these BS TSA searches are a complete joke. I could bypass them about five ways without trying hard…And I still believe in the Constitution that requires a warrant or probable cause for a search.

      Do not delude yourself into thinking you are any safer with TSA around. They are a joke and a bad one at that!

    • sonipitts says:

      No, they should stop looking for knives because even if you didn’t bring your own, you can load up on all the knives you want in the post-security steak house or other restaurant. Or use a broken duty-free bottle of vodka purchased post-grope…etc.

      In other words, keeping knives from going through a specific checkpoint, when they’re easily available after that checkpoint, is a lot like stopping onlookers a few blocks away from a house fire and making them surrender their lighters before letting them get any closer.

      • Mister44 says:

        re: “No, they should stop looking for knives ”

        Exactly. Before 9/11 people had no issues with pocket knives etc. 9/11 didn’t happen because terrorists were armed. It happened because people assumed hijackers weren’t going to ram their plane into a building. Just lay low and they would eventually be ok.

  6. Anonymous says:

    TSA couldn’t care less about what you bring on board an aircraft, as long as they don’t risk getting the blame for anything (that’s the sole reason for the big show).

    TSA is not about security, it’s a big business to get fat cats fatter, and a job creation program for otherwise unemployable larvae.

    The biggest problem TSA has is finding a way of continuing to collect all the money they get without having to deal with you, the nuisance that keeps showing up at the gates…

  7. chgoliz says:

    Something I learned on my most recent trip: do not wear a long, flowing skirt through security. It’s an automatic re-route to the X-ray machine, which for those of us who decline means the full Monty pat-down instead.

    FWIW: I was given clear and reasonable explanations while going through the full pat-down. Perhaps there is some new training?

  8. Anonymous says:

    Former McDonald’s employees obviously did not see the chef’s knives as a terrorist threat.

    • Gulliver says:

      @ Anon #21

      Former McDonald’s employees obviously did not see the chef’s knives as a terrorist threat.

      That’s uncalled for. Most McD’s employees are probably honest hardworking individuals.

  9. turn_self_off says:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q3yaqq9Jjb4

    one year on and nothing has changed…

  10. Vnend says:

    In contrast to all of this, I saw the headline and wondered when was the last time I saw dull chef’s knives.

  11. Victor Drath says:

    I went through with a stone knife in my carry on once. I placed it in a way that only the edges would be facing the scanner thing when viewed from either the top of the side, figuring maybe it dosn’t read from both ends of the machine. So it’s either a flaw, someone was asleep, or maybe artifacts get a free pass. :)

  12. Rindan says:

    If the TSA really wanted to make planes safe, they would put a taser in the seat back on every seat. During the part where they explain what to do if your plane plows into the water at 500 mph, they would mention that if anyone tries to take over the plane, you should zap the shit out of them. This combined with a reinforced cockpit door that can stand up to a couple of kicks would make taking over airplanes impossible.

    If there is anything the “post 9/11 world” has taught us, it is that on site security is completely worthless and a waste of money. They have caught absolutely nothing and managed to spend billions of dollars doing it. On the other hand, telling passengers to not act like cows and to beat the fuck out of anyone trying to take over the airplane is nearly 100% effective and has foiled every post 9/11 plot to take over or blow up an airplane. Toss in a reinforced door to give the passengers a little extra time to hand out beatings, and you are talking about a completely effective $250 per airplane solution to in flight terrorism. Cheaper than a pr0n scanner and vastly less asinine.

    The solution to the “war on terror” is for Americans to stop acting like fucking cowards by throwing money at the problem and mewing to the government to sodomize their civil liberties. The solution is to step in and fuck up anyone trying to act like an asshole and to not act like such terrified little children at the prospect of a one in a few million chance of being struck dead by terrorism. We seem to have the capacity to look deep into our pants and find the balls to eat McDonalds food which WILL fucking kill you, but OMFG, if there is a chance that a terrorist bomb will kill a a few dozen out of the 300,000,000+ Americans our bowels release, we shit our selves, and we whine and whimper for politicians to get rid of our pesky rights on the off chance that we can slightly mitigate the chance of dying to a method that ranks below chocking on the food you stuffed into your own face.

    • imag says:

      Damn straight. That comment says it all.

    • WeightedCompanionCube says:

      So you’d advocate putting Tasers in the hands of the same people who occasionally get a case of air rage, take a dump on the drink cart and try to strangle a flight attendant? Oh, I know they would be quickly subdued by another passenger…but you think the police use excessive force with Tasers? Watch what happens when soccer mom flips out and doesn’t know when to stop.

      I do believe we have the locked, reinforced cockpit door, and I’m all for Tasers or even firearms in the cockpit as long as the flight crew is trained on using them.

      People no longer believe being passive in a hijacking scenario is the best course of action. We haven’t had a successful hijacking since 9-11.

      As for blowing up a plane? Sorry, but if a terrorist manages to get _real_ explosives on a plane (vs. setting his underwear on fire), there’s not much you can do to stop it.

      • Gulliver says:

        So you’d advocate putting Tasers in the hands of the same people who occasionally get a case of air rage, take a dump on the drink cart and try to strangle a flight attendant? Oh, I know they would be quickly subdued by another passenger…but you think the police use excessive force with Tasers? Watch what happens when soccer mom flips out and doesn’t know when to stop.

        I just had this beautiful image of every passenger on a plane tasering each other in a web of coiled wires. The caption should read, New TSA Open Taser Policy Results in Remarkably Subdued Compartments.

        Sadly, I can’t draw for shit. Anyone else want to take a crack at it?

  13. Cowicide says:

    We’d be safer down the road if we’d simply quit fucking with every country in the world that has resources we want and finally develop a massive Manhattan Project dedicated to sustainable energy.

    We put all that expense and energy into the Manhattan Project in 1945… are our security issues tied to energy, global climate change, etc. any less of a threat today?

    • Gulliver says:

      We’d be safer down the road if we’d simply quit fucking with every country in the world that has resources we want and finally develop a massive Manhattan Project dedicated to sustainable energy.

      I second that. Too bad we’re blowing all our money on a superfluous engine for a jet we don’t need.

    • exile says:

      Absolutely!

  14. Michael_GR says:

    Last week I visited Riga, Latvia. They have exactly the same stupid, random security theater, if not worse: they scanned our carry-on luggage as we came OFF the plane (which we could only board if we went through a security check in the first place!). On our way back, my friend had a small deodorant spray bottle; they made her get rid of it. I happened to have one large mineral water bottle and one smaller coke bottle in my bag, both half-full; they ignored it completely. As we were waiting in the terminal for our flight back home, we were handed questionnaires about airport security. There was no way to answer them to indicate there was too much of it. At best, you could indicate you were totally satisfied with things as they are. The other option was to ask for more security. I refused to fill it.

  15. rebdav says:

    On 9-11 one plane was stopped not by Air Force F-15′s and your brave government, it was also not by movie grade Navy Seals delivered by a stealth plane and a crazy airlock tunnel.
    It was stopped by regular people who happened to use pocket knives to wrest control and in the process sacrificed their lives so that another building was not hit rather the plane went down in a field.
    Since then every terror incident has been stopped by smart civilians.
    Maybe the knife ban is cynically to prevent heroes from saving the plane so that the ‘good’ air marshals can get time in the spotlight and not look like @$$h0135 charging us billions of dollars to abuse us every single damn flight.
    Forget a knife ban, how about a mandatory single shot pistol for every adult passenger.

    Besides what if theres something on the wing… sooome-thiiing, on the wing?

    Or what if the plane flies over some weird island and falls apart and when everyone wakes up there is a surgeon who needs someone to heal, a southern rogue, a pretty but tough fugitive, a pregnant Aussi girl, a junkie rock star, a Korean couple, a bald guy, and a bunch of disposable red shirts; but the federal marshal hauling the fugitive back to L.A. has no suitcase full of guns, the bald guy has no bag-o-knives and there are scary others on the island and nothing is ever satisfactorily explained in the end and you want to murder the writers, but thanks TSA, no guns or even knives?

  16. nate_freewheel says:

    [insert very irate, tiresome anti-TSA rant copy-pasted from BB article 6 months prior]

  17. Anonymous says:

    Does anybody truly believe that a few terrorists on a plane with knives would stand a chance in hell of surviving the reprisal of the passengers. I think that 911 was the end of people passively waiting for terrorists to do their worst. What do you think?

  18. Sork says:

    Is it really the same agent that scans the carry-on and pats down? I thought the wanding/patdown happened in parallel while the bags were checked? Forgive me for not having flown in a long time.

  19. Jake0748 says:

    This makes me a happy mutant. Probably because I’ve spent a lot of my working years being a chef, and I always get a little leery and nervous when packing and transporting my knives. Glad he took his shoes off though.

    If I haven’t said it before, (I probably have), The TSA seems to be mostly a bunch of clueless, unaware drone douche-bags.

    Note to self: After posting this, don’t ever carry anything sharp to the airport. :P

  20. josebrwn says:

    I just hope he wasn’t carrying shampoo!

  21. nixiebunny says:

    I got to thinking about that one day when I noticed the collection of 12 inch sandwich-making knives at the restaurant in the secure area, within easy reach of a wayward passenger.

  22. Rob Gehrke says:

    We clearly need more TSA agents to prevent this sort of thing from happening again.

  23. terranwannabe says:

    Maybe the TSA agent was planning on taking his girlfriend to Blackbird…

  24. Opspin says:

    There was this guy once when I was about younger, had to go to medieval festival in Iceland and had donned his full plate mail armor. Well metal detector obviously blew a fuse and they asked him to take it all off, he told them that took about two hours, so they just sent him through the x-ray machine and let him on the plane. Crazy ass Vikings.

  25. bodenski says:

    A pro chef “sneaking” through is less newsworthy than the legions of amateurs who daily go through with pocket knives, leatherman tools, boxcutters, (the uber tools) binder clips, etc etc.

    If any of that stuff was really dangerous, they would arrest you for ATTEMPTING to bring it on a plane.
    Any time they catch you with “illegal items” they grab it and you get another chance to go through and try again at the safety theatre.

    • Anonymous says:

      Totally. I fly fairly regularly, and it’s not news when you get something like this through airport security, it’s completely normal. I’ve long since stopped bothering to put my liquids into ziplock bags and mailing my pocket knife — just toss them in your carry on with everything else and you’ll get through just fine.

      It’s not like there are actual penalties going on here. I did have them find a 20oz bottle of Mt. Dew once, and had to throw it out, which I would’ve had to do anyway, so whatever.

      Now, I suspect if I put a pocketknife in an empty noise-free area of my bag instead of in a pouch with headphones, batteries, a shaver, sunglasses, a DS, and all manner of other random things, they might find it. On the other hand the body of the knife is the same stainless steel as the handle so it probably just looks like an oval on x-ray.

  26. Mister44 says:

    My idea for an awerness campaign, is everyone coming back from Thanksgiving have a cucumber in foil in their pants. EVERYONE.

    Airport security was always a joke. I was coming back from Toronto and they would let me on with my 4″ pocket knife – but not a cigar punch that looks like a .44 Magnum round. That’s right – the real weapon was in my pocket, the other I had to box up and check as luggage.

  27. Mister44 says:

    OH – One thing I used to have issues with was checking in 3000 and 4500psi carbon fiber wrapped air tanks. They were EMPTY, but one time I got Captain Imdaboss who wouldn’t budge on the issue and I had FedEX them next day air.

    • LegendofPedro says:

      Paintballer, right?

      This isn’t anti-terror, this is an anti-smuggling measure. You just need to prove the tanks are empty, so remove the regulators before you leave and remember to pack your strap wrench, slip-joint pliers and thread-locking compound.

      • Mister44 says:

        I have never heard a concern about tanks for smuggling. Pod tubes do make handy cigar cases. One can heft a tank and see they are empty. Captain Imtheboss said, “Well – these are the kinds of tanks that took down the Value Jet.”

        “No, those tanks had Oxygen in them, not Nitrogen or regular air. Oh – and they were FULL – these tanks are EMPTY.”

        I do NOT like to take regs on and off more than I need to. Call me over cautious, but the threads are the point most likely to fail and I’d rather mess with them as little as possible.

        The problem is each airline has it’s own rules, and half the time the people working there had no clue and were inconsistent. One time they are cool with it, another they wouldn’t let you fly.

        I wrote for a magazine and knew people who actually designed the regulators. I had a plan to get with the various airlines with and help them make a consistent policy with information on how employees can insure the tanks are empty. (not that it would matter too much, it is unlikely a tank would fail. If it did, the carbon fiber keeps the shrapnel contained. And they have bursts disks to prevent over pressurization.)

  28. knoxblox says:

    Kahaaaaaaaan!

    Well, with that photo, somebody had to do it.

  29. absimiliard says:

    OMFG!

    -abs isn’t really what to say to this, except that while he’s horrified he’s not particularly surprised. *deep fucking sigh*

    • Gulliver says:

      -abs isn’t really what to say to this, except that while he’s horrified he’s not particularly surprised. *deep fucking sigh*

      If you’re going to talk about yourself in the third person, at least click the reply button so we know what comment you whining about.

  30. Anonymous says:

    I was flying from London Gatwick to Cork, Ireland and got stopped at the X-ray machine as I had a deactivated rifle round (souvenir from a museum) in the bottom of my bag. They confiscated it and gave me a telling off, but both the X-ray and hand-search failed to find the big craft knife that was also in there, which I’d forgotten to take out when I was packing. They failed to detect it on the return journey either, and I found it in there a week or so later.

    So, yeah, it’s not just the TSA that are laughably bad at their jobs.

  31. Anonymous says:

    cue TSA ass cover machine pointing out this is an isolated incident where only 1 rouge employee did not follow procedure perfectly.

    cue one more hint to the American people that despite wasting billions on dollars on “Keeping us safer” that we now are more at risk than ever before. That we pump untold piles of cash to former government bureaucrats pet projects, that don’t work in the real world. But because we have a contract for X more machines we pile them up in a warehouse on the off chance the technology will become self aware and improve.

    For every one of these “slipups” that is reported, how many don’t get reported because the person involved fears the governments reprisal.

    • jackie31337 says:

      cue TSA ass cover machine pointing out this is an isolated incident where only 1 rouge employee did not follow procedure perfectly. [Emphasis mine]

      So you’re saying their face is red?

  32. Endo says:

    A buddy of mine (nicknamed Tackleberry) made it through with a dozen or so live AK-47 rounds, both directions on a round trip. He didn’t discover it until he was flying around himself and they fell out of his bag.

    On the plus side, he found those AK-47 rounds he had been looking for.

  33. jacques45 says:

    To be fair, it was most likely a different agent doing the pat-down (why didn’t he remove his wallet before going through the metal detector?) than the one who missed the knives on the x-ray machine.

  34. Melted Crayons says:

    We need TSA as justification for removing our rights and as a reminder of why we are fighting wars for oil and the militarily protected extension of the free market to keep us safe.

    • Gulliver says:

      We need TSA [as justification for removing our rights and as a reminder of why we are fighting wars for oil and the militarily-protected extension of the free market] to keep us safe.

      Free market my ass! By definition real free markets don’t need protection. I believe the term you’re looking for is plutocracy. Please don’t let the Republicrats redefine our vocabulary into Newspeak ;-)

  35. Melted Crayons says:

    heh, I see html code doesn’t work in comments. Most of that comment was meant to be strikethrough. So let’s try it this way:

    We need TSA [as justification for removing our rights and as a reminder of why we are fighting wars for oil and the militarily-protected extension of the free market] to keep us safe.

    • Mister44 says:

      re: “So you’d advocate putting Tasers in the hands of the same people who occasionally get a case of air rage, take a dump on the drink cart and try to strangle a flight attendant? ”

      Given the choices for inflight movies (and the many flights which offer none), that sort of entertainment might be worth it. Just make sure “Yakkity Sax” is on your iPod.

      @melted crayons re: “we are fighting wars for oil ”

      When I hear ‘war for oil’, it is like nails on chalk boards for me. If this were true, we would have US controlled oil fields in Iraq that we don’t pay for. And Afghanistan doesn’t have oil. They do have sweet, sweet H, though.

      • Anonymous says:

        If this were true, we would have US controlled oil fields in Iraq that we don’t pay for.

        That’s because you did a bad job, and the privatization didn’t go as planned. Afghanistan is a different matter, as the casus belli wasn’t made up, but Iraq is pretty clear from previous writings by the Bush staff.

      • Victor Drath says:

        “When I hear ‘war for oil’, it is like nails on chalk boards for me. If this were true, we would have US controlled oil fields in Iraq that we don’t pay for.”

        Ya ever stop to think that maybe it’s a shell game? We pay, but our oil companies don’t, or pay very little. Do you really think they would ever give it to us for free? Corporations would never give out energy for free, even if it cost absolutely nothing to produce. It’s such a joke when you hear politicians squawking about our desperate need for new energy and energy independence because we’re still gonna be paying through the nose for it! And of course Libya… they don’t have oil there, no sir. Strictly to save the people. ;)

        Anyway, support our ancient native americans and carry stone knives and weapons on your next flight! :)

      • Gulliver says:

        When I hear ‘war for oil’, it is like nails on chalk boards for me. If this were true, we would have US controlled oil fields in Iraq that we don’t pay for. And Afghanistan doesn’t have oil. They do have sweet, sweet H, though.

        It’s a grossly oversimplified talking point for left-leaning ideologues, yet it germinated around a seed of truth. The Middle East contains more than half of the world’s proven oil reserves, on which the industrially developed world depends. Its loss would be literally catastrophic. So we and the rest of the developed world play chess with that part of the world. But the pawns have minds of their own and tend to bite back. Hence our modern predicament. Unfortunately, most pundits and activists on either sides of international policy debates rarely consider history because they feel compelled to pander to the shortest attention span in order to drum up support for their side. Also, history shows where both the Right and Left screwed the pooch, and it’s easier to ignore the whole thing than open that can of worms with a selective memory that others will poke holes in. Welcome to politics, where being right is more highly valued than solving problems.

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