Whose bear urine is this? - Intraoffice email at National Geo

From an office-wide email at National Geographic, which sounds like a fun place to work:

Subject: Bear Urine- not a joke
A package arrived at Geo...(talk about weird) 2 small bottles of Pee. Bear Urine. No... really.
Can you please send a blast to see if some brave soul will claim the urine.
But wait, it gets better. According to a producer at National Geographic Television, one woman responded to the original email saying she was expecting coyote urine and deer urine, but that the bear urine was not hers. Two other people requested to be notified if the urine was not claimed because they need some "for personal use." No, not to pass drug tests, but to keep deer out of their yards. In the end, the true purchaser of the bear pee came forward. It is now safe with its rightful owner.

Excuse Me, Is This Your Bear Urine? - Only at National Geographic

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Wurm42

I live in the Washington, D.C., area, not too far from National Geographic HQ. The deer population around here is out of control; I would absolutely call dibs on an unclaimed bottle of bear urine if I was trying to protect my garden.
Anonymous

I am successfully using the pee of a large male human (who eats a great deal of meat) to keep deer out of the flowerbeds and shrubbery. Been doing it for a couple of years now.

It’s important to pee high. If you can hit the top of the fencepost four feet off the ground, it scares off predators as well as prey.
- adamnvillani
  
  “I am successfully using the pee of a large male human”
  
  As Bear Grylls would say, “This only works with bloke’s pee.”
Anonymous

Does twink urine work as good?
- Anonymous
  
  That only draws in meth dealers…
irksome

Someone notify the Firesign Theater; their mail has been misdirected.
g0d5m15t4k3

I wonder how bear urine is collected. Also, would it attract bears??
Don

I use coyote urine from predatorpee(dot)com, and in my experience it repels rabbits and attracts coyotes.* Which, in turn, repels the rabbits even harder.

*Wife practically tripped over 4 coyotes in the tall grass next to the garden. Don’t know which side was more surprised.
- Gawain Lavers
  
  Before I could make my joke about how you would go about insuring a bear urine collection company, I see we’ve taken a turn for the serious…in that I now have a source for Christmas presents this year.
  
  I wonder if they gift wrap.
  - Gawain Lavers
    
    Hmm. If you have a problem with mice, you get bobcat pee. If you have a cat problem, they recommend coyote pee. And if you have coyotes they sell wolf pee.
    
    So, when you wind up attracting wolves?
    
    Elephant pee? And when that goes wrong, you can complete the cycle.
    
    Hypothetically we all have access to copious amounts of large predator urine, and my father reports modest success against rabbits…but he’s still getting coyote pee for Christmas.
    - Anonymous
      
      …then when winter rolls around, the gorillas will freeze to death.
scolbath

They probably got it from a place like this:
http://www.predatorpee.com/

Believe you me, it does help repel pests, and no, it doesn’t seem to attract the same species of animal :-) You don’t know what stink is until you’ve personally spread coyote pee.
- Don
  
  So true, I learned the hard way.
benenglish

Squirrels in your attic? Go to Cabela’s (or any of dozens of other outdoor suppliers) and order a small bottle of red fox urine. Just a few drops in the attic and the squirrels will skedaddle.

Then it’s up to you to seal off whatever entrance they originally used to get into your attic. Forget that step and they’ll be back in a couple of months.
Anonymous

I worked at a science museum and had several different kinds of animal pee on my bench for a while
satablank

So, an article about Bear and urine and we’re not actually talking about this guy for once … http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/bear-grylls-better-drink-my-own-piss
Mark Bourne

Ah, yes. Another vid for Firesign Theatre’s Bear Whiz Beer, this time animated (“That’s why it’s yellow!”): http://youtu.be/r0GBS2kOMEg
Anonymous

@irksome – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_rmwEyIBBQM