Vampire bites woman

This gentleman, Lyle Monroe Bensley, 19, of Galveston, Texas is in jail after breaking into a woman's apartment and biting her. Apparently, Bensley is a vampire and "needed to feed," he reportedly told police.

Bensley, covered with tattoos and wearing only boxer shorts, forced his way into the apartment on Seawall Boulevard and made his way into the bedroom of a woman whose name has not been released, Heyse said.

Bensley made growling and hissing noises while biting and hitting the woman in her bed, Heyse said. Bensley then dragged her out of the apartment and she broke free...

"I'm a vampire, and I've been alive for over 500 years," Bensley said, according to (police officer Daniel) Erickson.

"Galveston man bites woman's neck, claims to be vampire"

• [GreenJello]

  But what if he’s telling the truth?!?!?!?!?

  • [Brainspore]

    But what if he’s telling the truth?!?!?!?!?

    We’ll see how well his story holds up to the harsh light of day.

• [Clemoh]

  Can you imagine the foresight of parents in the 16th Century naming their child ‘Lyle?’ 

  • [Amber Saxon]

    lol Yes. Lyle comes from a variety of decending noble families. :)

• [Lobster]

  Well that sucks.

• [MrJM]

  So the sexy vampire thing is over?

  • [Recluse]

    Beat me to it.. I was going to add… This is where all that Twilight and True Blood stuff has gotten us. Next meme to be tested:  “Miami Man Tries to Saw Open Head and Eat Brains…Claims to be a Zombie”

    • [Lobster]

      That’s not unreasonable.  I mean nobody’s going to eat his eyes.

• [Michael W.]

  You’d think being a vampire since at least 1530 he’d have perfected his technique by now. 

• [urbbody]

  Burn down the Hot Topic, that should help.

• [rourin_bushi]

  That sounds a lot like a drunken bet gone wrong D:

• [Luc Hudson]

  Boxer shorts are a departure from traditional vampire attire. Maybe he’s struggling to blend into modern society.

• [alephxero]

  Ann Rice made at least one good decision, then.  ”Police Interrogation with a Vampire” just doesn’t have a good ring to it.

• [Mark Cresswell]

  The Police should only feed him cold pig’s blood. I bet he would soon change his mind and become a vegetarian.

• [Andy Lester]

  “Yeah, I got this Pachelbel tattoo back in the day when he was just starting out.  Now, people see it and they’re all like ‘Hey he did that Canon in D song, right?’, and it’s just like, dude, he did so much more than that.  They just don’t know.  Makes me wish I hadn’t gotten it, but what are you gonna do, right?”

• [Spirituel Singularité]

  Give me back my cookies

• [Spirituel Singularité]

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4eWN2jabing
  Mine mine mine

• [Spirituel Singularité]

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTMOSCh7aJU
  Turn off your mind, it is not dying

• [lknope]

  Growling and hissing noises?  Is he also a werewolf and some kind of snake?

• [Mike Scott]

  Bummer.

• [cramerica]

  Not a vampire.  Totally wasn’t invited in.

• [Andrew Carvin]

  Stupid people do stupid things.

  • [lesmanalim]

    Mentally ill people do mentally ill things.

• [Kevin Mcclain]

  Cocaine will make you do some crazy stuff! :P

• [milkman]

  Seems like any number of ways to prove that he isn’t.  Will the cops do this or will it go to court?  If it goes to court, who will testify as a vampire expert?  And if we don’t have an easy way to prove that he isn’t a vampire, is he innocent until proven guilty?  We don’t have anything in the books for this situation when dealing with vampires!  We need to get this ironed out before this gets out of control!  Think of the chaos! –no, I’m just poking at your funny bone, I’m quite alarmed.

• [Maggie Hornick ✔]

  If he’s genuinely deluded, he’s clearly unfit to stand trial.

• [Finnagain]

  Seeing how he’s immortal and all, a few years in the slammer will be no big deal.

• [Drabula]

  He said he’s “over 500 years old” – TRANSLATION – he’s seen Twilight over 500 times.

• [snagglepuss]

  So even Texas VAMPIRES are morons?!

  • [Boomer]

    So even Texas VAMPIRES are morons?!

    Yes, and our blood sucking governor is living proof.

• [hassenpfeffer]

  ‘Oh, c’mon, Ronnie!”

• [lesmanalim]

  Probably not a vampire, but I would put schizophrenia on the table.

• [ill lich]

  I suppose if he had actually killed that woman he would get the death penalty (it’s Texas, after all), but I would be interested to see them try and execute him with the chair or lethal injection, only to fail.  They would finally realize “Oh, a wooden stake through the heart should do the trick!” But then the ACLU intervenes calling this cruel and unusual punishment, and he gets to spend an eternity in jail, begging for that wooden stake.

• [cdh1971]

  I am a Golden God. I can assure you this boy is not a vampire, nor is he 500 years old. 

  • [Amber Saxon]

    You never know. There are, first of all, different kinds of vampire…there are some vamps who can come in uninvited (also those who are ‘half’), and secondly, there are some people who say they were vampires in a ‘past life’ or have said they dream of others’ lives when the other person(s) were vampires and they have never met them before. This could be the case (or as most people want to believe that he, Lyle, is really just a psychopath). There are also those who just ‘know’ they are of the immortal, such as, Vampire Don Henry, who even shows his powers to people and really does drink blood right from humans. Lastly there are those who have, “porphyria”, which is a disease in which you have to consume blood for your body to survive. So it’s really just trying to find what type of vampire(s) he ‘is not’. =F

• [bbonyx]

  Why oh why oh why oh why oh *why* can’t this happen at my house so that my HK could prove the lack of immortality test to this moron. Yeah yeah yeah, he’s probably mentally unstable. But guess what, plenty of other people who aren’t. No loss.

  • [Lobster]

     I’m thinking – and please correct me if I’m mistaken – but you probably don’t need to fill the guy with holes to get people to believe he’s not actually immortal.

• [PeaceLove Love]

  Mental illness has many faces.

  George Romero (Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead) made a woefully underseen film called “Martin” (1977) about a teenager in Pittsburgh who believes he’s a vampire. It’s beautifully tender and depressing; maybe it could be considered background info? http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/martin/

• [John Wentworth]

  “This gentleman, Lyle Monroe Bensley, at least 500, of Galveston, Texas…”
  FTFY.

• [Antinous / Moderator]

  One of my hospital co-workers was on the jury for the Vampire Slasher trial. She was sequestered and everything.

• [Spriggan_Prime]

  But does it SPARKLE !?!

• [redesigned]

  as a child “the count” led me to believe that vampires were good at math…this douche give his age as “over 500″….lol.  you know, that really obvious, vague, number exactly halfway to 1000.

  i’m surprised a vampire can or would get something as trendy as earplugs…surly after more then 500 years you’d realize that trend won’t last forever.

• [jnordb]

  Apparently the victim had not enough garlic in her diet…

• [Mister44]

  Keep a copy of this mug shot. It will be fun to compare to a new one in 5 years time.

• [Christopher Stelzer]

  if he lives for 500 years why should he act a 19 years old and not a 21 years old?