Neutrino jokes

One of many highlarious jokes making the rounds about those crazy neutrinos traveling faster than light. (Thanks, Ariel Waldman!)

David Pescovitz is Boing Boing's co-editor/managing partner. He's also a research director at Institute for the Future. On Instagram, he's @pesco.

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satn

where are the others? I want MORE!
David Pescovitz

Here’s another I liked:
https://twitter.com/#!/chrislintott/status/117172378060066816
awjt

There is no way to verify that I wasn’t laughing before I read these and am still not, but you took my word for it a moment ago.
- apolakipso
  
  Not anymore, but I will have by yesterday
factbased

Note, the speed of light in a vacuum is a constant. Neutrinos may be slower than photons in some medium in an experiment without invalidating this rule. DIsclaimer: IANAPhysicist.
- Alexander Boxerbaum
  
  It seems that they measured it going faster than the speed of light in a vacuum:
  
  http://arxiv.org/abs/1109.4897
  - valdis
    
    I actually *read* the article on arxiv. It’s basically 24 pages of they’ve checked all the obvious stuff. My personal bet is that there’s some mascon in northern Italy with a gravitational effect that’s influenced the geodesic path to the tune of 60cm.
    
    Whatever it is, it’s probably *not* actual transluminal neutrinos – but it *will* be something strange and unusual that we’ll learn from.
    - Dialog2Debate
      
      You remember that woman in the Boston Marathon who came in first place because she rode the subway part of the way? I bet this will be like that.
B A

Neutrino.
Who’s there?
Knock knock.
http://sfmatheson.blogspot.com SteveMatheson

Neutrinos going faster than light speed? Well, we didn’t see that one coming.
http://twitter.com/travyeso travis

This guy’s quick.
Huwman

I suppose that’s relatively funny.
andyhavens

First.
Vnend

And re-tweeted 913 times so far…
Lurking_Grue

I heard that sometime tommorow.
cymk

obligatory science cat.
http://twitter.com/mild7 Seth Hurwitz

http://youtu.be/yk0Is8-gGSQ
chenille

I’m still waiting for all the references to “The Dead Past” by Asimov.
cymk

ok one more.
dr_awkward

If CERN had *actually* found a particle that travels faster than light,
you know that someone else would eventually have found it first…
- Finnagain
  
  Russians, usually.
Roy Trumbull

This one dates at least to the 1950s if not earlier:

There was a young lady named Bright
Who could travel much quicker than light
She vanished one day, in a relative way
And returned on the preceding night.
angusm

Hipster neutrinos already visited Gran Sasso before it was cool.
The Ouroborus

I laughed before I read it!
http://twitter.com/Elissa_Malcohn Elissa Malcohn

Brian Malow at 2:26 (I recommend watching the full video): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7DkeQ0roAM
CLAVDIVS

I could tell you a joke about FTL neutrinos, but if you aren’t already laughing you won’t get it.
Jack Majewski

In Soviet Russia, light is faster than a FTL neutrino!
- Dialog2Debate
  
  In Soviet Russia, the speed of light breaks YOU!
http://artdonovan.typepad.com Art

My lame BB comment arrived 10 nanoseconds before I posted it.
teufelsdrochk

Pfft…I heard that joke years from now.
poeteye

OFF THE SCALE

— James Ph .Kotsybar

The young lady known simply as Bright,
who could travel at speeds fast as light,
said, “While I’m never late,
I’m concerned that my weight
goes to infinite mass, though I’m slight.”
http://twitter.com/ErikVeland Erik Veland

Here’s my joke: https://twitter.com/#!/ErikVeland/status/117066934519996416
- Mister44
  
  I am sure there must be a way to work in “so small it usually passes through matter with out touching it”…. I couldn’t figure out something elegant. But hey – I’m drinking so…
  - http://twitter.com/ErikVeland Erik Veland
    
    Well, that’s kind of what “weakly interacting” means ;)
    
    Here’s the joke for people who can’t be bothered clicking the link.
    
    I call my penis the neutrino. Because it’s low in mass, weakly interacting, and comes faster than light.
  - Guest
    
    AHEM.
    
    That’s what she said.
Teller

CERN Suspends Search for Oldtrino.
Mike Baker

When the neutrino heard the news that scientists discovered faster-than-light neutrinos, he was beside himself.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=670951552 Emerald Fist

The neutrino in question looked at chuck norris funny.
Dug Stokes

Heard this one earlier today;

If CERN have *actually* found a particle that travels faster than light,
I’m sure someone else would have eventually found it first.
http://profiles.google.com/davidabarak David Barak

˙ʇɐ ɥbnɐן oʇ buıɥʇou ǝɹɐ souıɹʇnǝu
pwr

1/sqrt(2) ( |Nobel> + |IgNobel> )
richard77

The funniest was said by Italian Minister of Education in her press release:

“Italy is proud to for contributing to the construction of the tunnel between CERN and Gran Sasso”
(sorry for poor translation)
I.E. She believes that there a tunnel in which neutrinos flow!

She is Minister of Education from the same country that gave world Archimede, Galileo, Fermi, Majorana, etc. Funny, isn’t it?
- Antinous / Moderator
  
  Given that Italy is currently prosecuting some scientists for failing to predict an earthquake, I’d say that it’s more tragic.
  - richard77
    
    I know, I’m Italian. I was trying to be sarcastic, but I failed…
    
    By the way, in the article there is a very interesting part on how they take into account continental drift, and how that earthquake affected the measured distance.
Gatto

my ansible said: dont feel bad. there’s no way we could have seen this coming.
Sean Mollison

OK… So smoke pouring out of my ears now… If you think about it, the neutrino just traveled forward in time when it went into the bar. Ouch.

We know that you cant travel back in time as they would have already done so.

But that logic doesn’t protect us from the concept of being able to go forward in time.

I am sure that the results are probably flawed and will be proved incorrect, but until then we can think crazy thoughts about a universe in which the mighty photon runs in second place.

My fragile grasp on these things has never amounted to much, but I am completely stumped now and its going to be interesting to see where this goes.
http://gritinthegears.blogspot.com/ soubriquet

“I’ll be back, yesterday”, replies the neutrino.
Dudeabroad

Nuetrinos are the Usain Bolts of the physics world. :-)
http://religionsetspolitics.blogspot.com/ Joshua Zelinsky

That’s a really good one. Definitely going to retell it.
http://twitter.com/kswarthog Dan

Two faster than light neutrinos walk into a bar and order a couple of drinks. Sorry, says the bartender, we don’t serve lights beer.
MarcVader

“Because a tachyon moves faster than light, we cannot see it approaching.
After a tachyon has passed nearby, we would be able to see two images
of it, appearing and departing in opposite directions.” – That really makes those jokes kinda hard to tell.
http://twitter.com/bearonit bearonit

Two carabinieri were on the highway on Gran Sasso when they see two neutrinos speeding by. The one carabinieri yells: “Hey those guys are going too fast!” His partner retorts: “No shit Einstein.”
Mr. Keked

Neutrino jokes hit Twittersphere faster than the speed of light
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/nationnow/2011/09/faster-than-the-speed-of-light-neutrino-jokes-light-up-twittersphere.html
http://www.facebook.com/people/Vincent-Maldia/100001023048460 Vincent Maldia

some people will twist this to say that the entire relativity thing is invalid. The same type of people who said that newton’s laws of motion were now invalid when einstein’s calculations regarding the orbital precession of mercury were confirmed