Neutrino jokes


54 Responses to “Neutrino jokes”

  1. satn says:

    where are the others? I want MORE!

  2. awjt says:

    There is no way to verify that I wasn’t laughing before I read these and am still not, but you took my word for it a moment ago.

  3. factbased says:

    Note, the speed of light in a vacuum is a constant. Neutrinos may be slower than photons in some medium in an experiment without invalidating this rule. DIsclaimer: IANAPhysicist.

    • Alexander Boxerbaum says:

      It seems that they measured it going faster than the speed of light in a vacuum:

      • valdis says:

        I actually *read* the article on arxiv.  It’s basically 24 pages of they’ve checked all the obvious stuff.  My personal bet is that there’s some mascon in northern Italy with a gravitational effect that’s influenced the geodesic path to the tune of 60cm.

        Whatever it is, it’s probably *not* actual transluminal neutrinos – but it *will* be something  strange and unusual that we’ll learn from.

        • Dialog2Debate says:

          You remember that woman in the Boston Marathon who came in first place because she rode the subway part of the way? I bet this will be like that.

  4. B A says:

    Who’s there?
    Knock knock.

  5. Neutrinos going faster than light speed? Well, we didn’t see that one coming.

  6. travis says:

    This guy’s quick.

  7. Huwman says:

    I suppose that’s relatively funny.

  8. andyhavens says:


  9. Vnend says:

    And re-tweeted 913 times so far…

  10. Lurking_Grue says:

    I heard that sometime tommorow.

  11. cymk says:

    obligatory science cat.

  12. chenille says:

    I’m still waiting for all the references to “The Dead Past” by Asimov.

  13. cymk says:

    ok one more.

  14. dr_awkward says:

    If CERN had *actually* found a particle that travels faster than light,
    you know that someone else would eventually have found it first…

  15. Roy Trumbull says:

    This one dates at least to the 1950s if not earlier:

    There was a young lady named Bright
    Who could travel much quicker than light
    She vanished one day, in a relative way
    And returned on the preceding night.

  16. angusm says:

    Hipster neutrinos already visited Gran Sasso before it was cool.

  17. The Ouroborus says:

    I laughed before I read it!

  18. Brian Malow at 2:26 (I recommend watching the full video):

  19. CLAVDIVS says:

    I could tell you a joke about FTL neutrinos, but if you aren’t already laughing you won’t get it.

  20. Jack Majewski says:

    In Soviet Russia, light is faster than a FTL neutrino!

  21. Art says:

    My lame BB comment arrived 10 nanoseconds before I posted it.

  22. teufelsdrochk says:

    Pfft…I heard that joke years from now.

  23. poeteye says:


    — James Ph .Kotsybar

    The young lady known simply as Bright,
    who could travel at speeds fast as light,
    said, “While I’m never late,
    I’m concerned that my weight
    goes to infinite mass, though I’m slight.”

  24. Erik Veland says:

    Here’s my joke:!/ErikVeland/status/117066934519996416 

    • Mister44 says:

      I am sure there must be a way to work in “so small it usually passes through matter with out touching it”…. I couldn’t figure out something elegant. But hey – I’m drinking so…

  25. Teller says:

    CERN Suspends Search for Oldtrino.

  26. Mike Baker says:

    When the neutrino heard the news that scientists discovered faster-than-light neutrinos, he was beside himself.

  27. Emerald Fist says:

    The neutrino in question looked at chuck norris funny.

  28. Dug Stokes says:

    Heard this one earlier today;

    If CERN have *actually* found a particle that travels faster than light,
    I’m sure someone else would have eventually found it first.

  29. David Barak says:

    ˙ʇɐ ɥbnɐן oʇ buıɥʇou ǝɹɐ souıɹʇnǝu

  30. pwr says:

    1/sqrt(2) ( |Nobel> + |IgNobel> )

  31. richard77 says:

    The funniest was said by Italian Minister of Education in her press release:

    “Italy is proud to for contributing to the construction of the tunnel between CERN and Gran Sasso”
    (sorry for poor translation)
    I.E. She believes that there a tunnel in which neutrinos flow!

    She is Minister of Education from the same country that gave world Archimede, Galileo, Fermi, Majorana, etc. Funny, isn’t it?

    • Antinous / Moderator says:

      Given that Italy is currently prosecuting some scientists for failing to predict an earthquake, I’d say that it’s more tragic.

      • richard77 says:

        I know, I’m Italian. I was trying to be sarcastic, but I failed…

        By the way, in the article there is a very interesting part on how they take into account continental drift, and how that earthquake affected the measured distance.

  32. Gatto says:

    my ansible said: dont feel bad. there’s no way we could have seen this coming.

  33. Sean Mollison says:

    OK… So smoke pouring out of my ears now… If you think about it, the neutrino just traveled forward in time when it went into the bar. Ouch.

    We know that you cant travel back in time as they would have already done so.

    But that logic doesn’t protect us from the concept of being able to go forward in time. 

    I am sure that the results are probably flawed and will be proved incorrect, but until then we can think crazy thoughts about a universe in which the mighty photon runs in second place. 

    My fragile grasp on these things has never amounted to much, but I am completely stumped now and its going to be interesting to see where this goes.

  34. soubriquet says:

    “I’ll be back, yesterday”, replies the neutrino.

  35. Dudeabroad says:

    Nuetrinos are the Usain Bolts of the physics world. :-)

  36. That’s a really good one. Definitely going to retell it. 

  37. Dan says:

    Two faster than light neutrinos walk into a bar and order a couple of drinks. Sorry, says the bartender, we don’t serve lights beer.

  38. MarcVader says:

    “Because a tachyon moves faster than light, we cannot see it approaching.
    After a tachyon has passed nearby, we would be able to see two images
    of it, appearing and departing in opposite directions.” – That really makes those jokes kinda hard to tell.

  39. bearonit says:

    Two carabinieri were on the highway on Gran Sasso when they see two neutrinos speeding by. The one carabinieri yells: “Hey those guys are going too fast!” His partner retorts: “No shit Einstein.”

  40. some people will twist this to say that the entire relativity thing is invalid. The same type of people who said that newton’s laws of motion were now invalid when einstein’s calculations regarding the orbital precession of mercury were confirmed

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