Dick Clark's rock house for sale

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38 Responses to “Dick Clark's rock house for sale”

  1. Brainspore says:

    I knew Dick Clark was old but I would have guessed he was at least Neo-lithic.

  2. EH says:

    Does the price include a full-time housekeeper just for dusting? Those textures look impossible to keep clean.

  3. lightsgeek25 says:

    I wanted to see more, but that hideous website design keeps blowing up my computers when it loads. I only have one left, so I guess I’ll never know.

  4. Bob N Johnson says:

    Seems claustrophobic, if I was wealthy enough to do this I would buy it and remove it, and build something more open. Something that made it feel like i was outside, instead of in a cave.

    • Cefeida says:

      The house may be claustrophobic but the area around it is the edge of a National Park. You’d only have to walk out the door to swap for agoraphobia.

  5. Christopher says:

    I don’t necessarily want to own it, but I would like to rent it every December 31st, so I could always have a rockin’ New Year’s Eve. 

  6. John Wells says:

    In many ways, the idea of a house carved out of  solid rock is brillant. Maintanence costs would be next to nil, with nothing short of a massive earthquake being able to damage it. The interior needs no paint and the floors need no finish. It doesn’t even have roofing that will need replacement in a couple decades.

    It’d also be quite cool in the summer and easy to heat in the winter (if located in a temperate climate).

    It might not be the most stylish house on the block but it’s plenty practical… well, at least if you have the time and tools to carve out that much rock…

  7. msbpodcast says:

    And it is really private.

    Not only is it off the beaten path, being subterannean its invisible in the daytime to Google’s KH-11 satellite over visible light spectra…

    If its deep enough, the ambient heat reflected/radiated/emanating from its ground cover would mask it.

    The problem is the car park above it. That fucking glows with heat off the blacktop.

  8. tyger11 says:

    1 bedroom, 2 baths? Weird. Also: that is the worst real estate web site I have ever seen in my life, and that’s saying a LOT. Jesus wept.

    • Antinous / Moderator says:

      I talked to a few sellers who had converted their three bedroom houses into one bedroom houses.  They couldn’t understand why their houses weren’t worth the same as their neighbors’ houses.  “But, but…it has a 900 square foot master closet with a jacuzzi right in the middle!  Who wouldn’t pay extra for that?”

  9. If you actually just want to look at the pics, and not pick through an EYE-BLEEDINGly bad website:  http://www.maliburomanticretreat.com/mls/

  10. voiceinthedistance says:

    The real estate site’s so bad because the agent is having to scrape by on a tight budget.  Times are tough in Malibu.

  11. PlutoniumX says:

    At least you would be safe for the next Thread incursion…

  12. Bob Dole's Commie Doppelganger says:

     Those are some nice HDR photos, too; shows what you can do with the technique other than make stuff look like a cartoon.

    • Brainspore says:

      As already noted, this house looks like a cartoon already.

    • penguinchris says:

      This type of HDR is pretty standard for higher-end real estate photography (and this is far from the best I’ve seen, though it’s certainly an unusual and challenging house to photograph).

      I’m not sure you’d even really call it straight-up HDR though; you’re combining multiple exposures but it’s more like cutting and pasting (particularly the views out of the window) rather than blending together like in the usual HDR (which is what gives it the cartoony effect).

  13. IronEdithKidd says:

    I don’t know, it does look like it’s fit for a Happy Mutant. 

    It’s definately not fit for a toddler, though, so even if we had piles of money to blow on absurdist realestate, the concrete cave house would still be a hells no.

  14. dlelash says:

    Does the house include the portrait in the attic of Clark at his actual age?

  15. sean says:

    Hey!  Stop ragging on the place! That house was the height of fashion when Dick had it built in the late pleistocene era.

  16. sean says:

    Funny, I always thought of him as a dinosaur, not a cave man.

  17. squidfood says:

    Cavemen?  Hell, that’s where Sigmund the Sea Monster moved when he got all famous.

  18. PrettyBoyTim says:

    I’d love to live there. I’d have a gay old time.

  19. Halloween_Jack says:

    Who knew that Dick lived in an old set from Star Trek TOS? I’m assuming most people would buy it for the lot (nearly 23 acres in Malibu!) and tear it down.

  20. Does anyone know the name of that bar in Malibu that is right off the hi-way, near the water, whose floor is covered with peanut shells? Coolest place…sitting there having a beer, watching the Pacific, eating peanuts and then just throwing the shells down. Went there once ages ago and been trying to find the name of it ever since.

  21. Frank Diekman says:

    We were at the beach
    Everybody had matching towels
    Somebody went under a dock
    And there they saw a rock
    It wasn’t a rock
     It was a Dick Clark’s house

  22. ultranaut says:

    High on my list of things to do following the mass production of time machines:
    Orgy at Dick Clark’s rock house, circa 1984

  23. chgoliz says:

    How much of this was truly dug out of rock and how much is just stucco?  Big difference in maintenance and utility costs.

    Gotta say, though, that kitchen is epic.  Not enough storage space, but what a way to hold to the theme.

  24. penguinchris says:

    I don’t know about you all complaining about it, this is the house I’ve been imagining since I was a kid (and not because I’m a geologist). Plus with the type of rock it is (though it isn’t clear if it’s real rock or not) it looks like Obi-Wan Kenobi’s house on Tatooine.

  25. Melinda9 says:

    Maybe it’s made from shotcrete or gunite.

  26. Does anyone else think that 3.5m isn’t a terrible price for 23 acres of coastal Malibu property, regardless of the (I think really cool) house on it?

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