Fake vaginas sold as powerful Chinese medicinal mushrooms

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32 Responses to “Fake vaginas sold as powerful Chinese medicinal mushrooms”

  1. bcsizemo says:

    What exactly does the legend say to do with this mushroom?  Cause unless your are suppose to have sex with it I’d think you’d figure out it wasn’t organic when you started cutting it.

  2. fnc says:

    “Note : Mushrooms are for novelty use only.”

  3. Mitchell Glaser says:

    Never buy mushrooms from a novelty store. So chewy.

  4. I wonder how sick you would get if you actually tried to cook and eat one of these.

  5. Deidzoeb says:

    I’m frightened about the idea of some people taking this story in the opposite direction: finding big mushrooms, heating them for a few seconds in the microwave, cutting a hole . . .

    • bloopeeriod says:

      I was afraid too until I found a particularly handsome specimen. I called him Gus. Turns out he was fun.

  6. SomeGuyNamedMark says:

    I just glanced at the article.  So they have vaginas growing out of the ground in China?  I’m changing my vacation plans.

  7. jerwin says:

    I wonder if a dildo would work just as well as rhino horn/human horn.

  8. Editz says:

    So Xi’an TV reporters can just broadcast anything all by themselves without supervisory review?  Pretty neat business model!

    • malindrome says:

      The rule is simple: don’t mention any of the “Three Ts and an F” (Tibet, Taiwan, Tiananmen + Falun Gong).  Otherwise, it’s all good.

  9. P Hirlehey says:

    This is a viral ad for the next American Pie movie.

  10. Quiche de Resistance says:

    “1 up”, indeed.

  11. Kibo says:

    Is it possible that this is just a way for people to buy sex toys discreetly? (How difficult is it normally to buy them in China?) 

    After all, in the US, selling quasi-legal things discreetly by officially mis-representing their purpose is common — “bath salts” that are really synthetic drugs, “video head cleaner” that’s really poppers, tiny fake roses that are really crack pipes (you throw away the rose and keep the glass tube), etc.

    …to say nothing of “massage” businesses that are really prostitution…

    • angusm says:

      Do people need to buy sex toys in China? I hear they grow wild, and you can just dig ‘em up.

      I saw it on the TV, so it must be true.

    • jahxman says:

      I don’t think the Chinese are really that prudish about sex as to make sex toys quasi-legal – and any way what a markup! US$2,800 for a fake vajayjay!

      Pretty sure you could rent a real one for a lot less in most places in China, if you wanted to.

      • ocker3 says:

         Perhaps the vendor knows they’re only likely to find a few rubes to purchase these and need to get in and out quick before they get arrested

    • Mitchell Glaser says:

      For years I wondered about the little roses in a glass tube that they sell at 7-11. I happened to mention it to a friend while we were there one day, and he told me that they were crack pipes! Then his burrito, which he had neglected to unwrap, exploded in the microwave and we made a hasty exit.

  12. Sigmund_Jung says:

    On the other hand, that Chinese fake vagina I bought tasted great with butter.

  13. Aaron Swain says:

    The word “vajayjay” should be banned from the English language and its users should be buried alive.

  14. Øyvind says:

    So many jokes about “pussy power”. But i’ll dismiss those, and instead try to see the positive in the situation. If the Chinese now are turning to sex toys for magical effect, maybe that’ll finally have an impact on poaching on tigers and rhinos.

  15. jerwin says:

    This seems relevant Dai Mahou Tenge: Wild Mushrooms

    (Does this count as the Unicorn Chaser?)

  16. But do fake vaginas have anti-aging properties?

  17. chris jimson says:

    I find it hard to believe this guy, or anyone who actually touches them, does not realize they are made of man made rubber/silicone/whatever– you’re not gonna slice them up and toss them in a frying pan.  Hence I suspect this guy is well aware they are not mushrooms, and is trying to scam people, hence the absurd price tag (you only have to sell one to make a huge profit.)

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