Suspected burglar with drill isn't

A man in Bochum, Germany called police this weekend, concerned about a loud mechanical noise in his flat. Tracking the noise to the storage cellar, police expected to find a burglar with an electric drill. Instead, they found a vibrator that had fallen off a shelf, switched on, and was humming against plumbing pipes. (The Local)



  1. We were on a trip last week and my traveling companion had her bag pretty full which probably caused the battery-powered toothbrush to loudly turn on while we were in an elevator full of people. Not just a few people had silly smiles on their faces.

    1.  What you do, before you pack the toothbrush in your suitcase, is flip one of the AA batteries around.  If the ON/OFF switch gets pressed, nothing will happen.

      1.  Of course, it’s company policy never to imply ownership in the event of a dildo. We have to use the indefinite article, “a dildo”, never “your dildo”.

        1.  Ah – I see my remembering of this quote failed. But good to see others saw where I was going ;o)

        2. We have to use the indefinite article, “a dildo”, never “your dildo”.

          People who own vibrators often have names for them.

  2. If you’re keeping your vibrator in a storage cellar, you’re doing it wrong.

    A single, female friend of mine had just moved into her new house and one evening called me up because there was a strange sound coming from her bathroom and she was freaking out.  She is deaf in one ear and couldn’t locate the source.   My wife and I went over to investigate.  The sound was remarkably loud but not unlike a vibrator.  I tracked the sound down to a drawer in her bathroom and had a brief moment of amusement while I pondered what I was about to find in the drawer.   Turns out it was an electric lint “shaver” that had been switched on earlier when she closed the drawer.  

  3. A coworker clipped his pager to the time card board when he went out of town for work. It vibrated the wall in a weird way when someone paged it. We looked in the hot water heater closet, above the ceiling tiles and ever where else for a week until someone found what was making the strange noise.

  4. We do appliance repair, and we had a customer who kept complaining of an intermittent vibrating noise for weeks on her refrigerator, but it never acted up when we were there. Turned out to be a misplaced cellphone on vibrate.

  5. I vote for “humming against the pipes” as the newest euphemism for… um… something.

  6. Of course we always use the indefinite article “A” vibrator… never “Your” vibrator…

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