Amid PR crisis, top Chick-fil-A publicist dies

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61 Responses to “Amid PR crisis, top Chick-fil-A publicist dies”

  1. RKTR ♫soundcloud.com/rktr says:

    That’s sad.  I hope people remember it was his boss that is the bigot and tyrant not the recently deceased.  Probably.

  2. Way to go, gay people. You killed someone.

    • franko says:

      hey, they started it.

        • Navin_Johnson says:

           Was going to say, a religious fanatic would have to see this as a sign…….

          • Donald Petersen says:

            While not exactly a religious fanatic, my mother has always had the habit, upon viewing some small bit of cosmic justice being visited upon one of her wayward offspring, of saying half-jokingly, “God got ya, didn’t He?”

          • Culturedropout says:

            Yeah – my friend’s freaky parents decided it was a sign from god when the local porn and adult toy shop burned to the ground.  His schedule must be backed way up, though, because it took him 20 years to get around to it…

          • Donald Petersen says:

            Right around the week it was scheduled to open, the statue of Moroni atop the eastern spire of San Diego’s Mormon Temple was struck by lightning.  Nobody really makes much of that, though.  Being the highest, shiniest point of a tall building often provokes such celestial wrath.

  3. bo1n6bo1n6 says:

    One too many fried chickens?

  4. . says:

    Bastardizing my favorite word.. Excellent!

  5. CSBD says:

    If he did not believe in the cause but supported it anyway is that just following orders?

    There is a reason (many actually) that I don’t work for the westburough baptist church.  

    • RKTR ♫soundcloud.com/rktr says:

       Did you have a chance to work for them?  That would be a crazy story we’d all like to hear!

  6. awesomerobot says:

    I really hope Chick-fil-A doesn’t spin this as reasoning for people to chill out with the anti-Chick-fil-A stuff. 

  7. Gerald Mander says:

    God hates flacks.

  8. David Davion says:

    You can otherwise work for a corporation filled to the brim with competent, wonderful people.  Meanwhile the guy at the top is a complete jack***.  I don’t really see how Chick-fil-A is any different than any other corporation out there. 

    Example: I once had to help the Chief Technology Officer, at a fortune 25 company, get a 32 network printer working on his 64 bit windows 7 machine.  A machine that he insisted he get before the whole rest of the company, because he was privileged, and despite being CTO, he had a complete lack of understanding that being first also meant being a lab rat. 

    But… why are we all OK with this?  

    • Navin_Johnson says:

       I don’t really see how Chick-fil-A is any different than any other corporation out there.

      Apart from the funneling of profits to hate groups?

    • bardfinn says:

      Matthew, Chapter 6, Verse 24:
      No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.

      6:1
      Take heed that ye do not your alms before men, to be seen of them: otherwise ye have no reward of your Father which is in heaven.

  9. bbonyx says:

    God Hates Fag Haters!

    And lo, he smote thee!

    • bardfinn says:

      Matthew, Chapter 6, verse 5
      And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

  10. The Westboro protest at this funeral is going to be sooooo confusing.

  11. I bet he got force-choked by Vader.

  12. Sigh. Here’s the imaginary scenario that is totally my own opinion and is likely not true, but makes a good fictional story anyhow:

    CEO Dan Cathy: Don, this is a PR disaster. You have to fix it.

    Don Perry: You said something incredibly vulgar and hateful and now *I* have to fix it? How about you apologize publicly?

    Cathy: No, I’m not going to apologize for what I said. I’m a Type A, and I have to be right. Fix it.

    Perry: But you’re the one who said–

    Cathy: Fix it or you’re fired.

    Perry: But I can’t–

    Cathy: I don’t care about your problems. Fix it or you’re fired, and I’ll make sure you never work again.

    Perry: *gasp* *dies*

    Cathy: Don? Don? Christ, you can’t get good help nowadays. Sheila? Get me HR. I used up another PR thing, I need a new one.

  13. RedShirt77 says:

    Probably the most stressful week in his entire life, a PR scandal threatens the company…
    He shoudl of resigned before it killed him.

  14. Red Monk says:

    What one of you wrote his name on a Death Note?

  15. Nathan says:

    Sigh. The second worst part about this debacle (we all know the first, of course) is that, thanks to the online coverage, I’ve been craving their chicken sandwiches and waffle fries for a solid week now, and can’t in good conscience stop in for some. I can’t be the only one who has had this problem.

    • Donald Petersen says:

      If you’re near Los Angeles, swing into your local Roscoe’s for some yummy chicken & waffles.  I recommend the Carol C Special.

      Otherwise… road trip to L.A.!

    • redesigned says:

      there are much better places to get fries and chicken, imho.

    • billstewart says:

      Their sandwiches have dead animals in them.  No thanks. 

      And lots of people make good fries.  For instance, my local Prefab-Irish-Pub not only has good fries, but serves good beer, which I expect Chick-fil-A doesn’t. 

    • Gerald Mander says:

       I feel absolutely wretched for saying this, but the McDonald’s Southern Chicken Sandwich is a reasonable substitute.

      •  I think Whataburger has a pretty good chicken sandwich too. I’ve never had one because the #1 Whatameal add cheese and bacon is just too tempting. And Whataburger is open 24/7 for all the drunks and  shift workers. If you are in the South, you can tell if you are in a safe place if there are more Whataburgers than Chick-Fil-As

      • LikesTurtles says:

        It’s an ok substitute but suffers from a couple of problems, almost all due to the way McDonald’s cuts corners everywhere they can.  The chicken breast has obviously been injected with liquid to plump it up. It’s way too wet when you bite in to it.  Also many of the patties are made up of multiple chicken parts stuck together so it falls apart along lines you didn’t make with your teeth. Lastly the bun tends to be a bit stale though that’s probably location dependent. It’s by no means a terrible sandwich but is noticeably inferior to the one at Chick-fil-a.

        I saw the YouTube video for the Chick-fil-gay sandwich and it doesn’t look that hard to make. Probably will be better than McDonald’s so certainly not as quick and easy to obtain.

    • Learn to make your own. Trust me, I know that sounds like a dismissive answer, but good fried boneless chicken is dead easy, especially if you can spring for a proper modern deep-fryer! We have started having queer-friendly chicken nights since the boycott and it’s been fun!

  16. Nobody… but nobody FUCKS WITH THE MUPPETS!!!

  17. tl;dr: I am perhaps an old man.

    Okay,  granted, I get old, I get old, I wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.

    But the last time I checked, you could only get Chik-fil-A at the mall, somewhere between Cinnabon and Sbarro’s. I suppose it’s possible that sometime between now and the last time I went mall-shopping, Chick-fil-A opened franchises outside malls where people could pick up a sandwich or a bucket of takeout without having to buy overpriced goods at the anchor store or Radio Shack, but when did this happen?

    Around here, you can get KFC, Popeyes, and local chicken (buy local chicken), but it’s not like Chik-fil-A is something that regular people are going to eat unless they spend 4-5- hours at an enclosed mall.

    Unless I’m wrong, y’all could render Chik-fil-A irrelevant by Not Eating at the Fucking Mall.

    I like specialty goods as much as the next guy, but given the choice between an Internet retailer and Spencer Gifts,  I’m staying the fuck  away from the mall.

    • jeff says:

      its anonymous pussies like these that ” stand up to the man”  that make me ill.  Although it does bring an evil grin to my pinky laden mouth that the mere thought of a dead fleshsammich….even though  it benn  THOUSANDS OF YEARS OF FLESHSEATIN Smmicheatin that got us here.    just sayin.   yall go about yer bizness.

    • penguinchris says:

      Your mall rant is funny but irrelevant. I’ve never seen a Chick-fil-A at a mall. They’re full-size fast food restaurants. Certainly, it depends on where you live, but they are not known as a food court chain (like, say, the detestable Sbarro).

      •  30 years ago most of them were in malls. I didn’t see a stand alone chick-a-fil until i moved to knoxville in ’93 and I thought it was odd. these days in Waco there is one of each.

  18. alamode123 says:

    Any truth to the rumours that Abby Farle is his replacement?

  19. snagglepuss says:

    Who knows ? Maybe Perry died of shame. A lifetime of lying and distorting realities as the PR director of a fast-food franchise could do that to a man of morals…

    Having never heard him speak, I can give him the benefit of the doubt – As opposed to his boss, who clearly enjoys being an asshole.

  20. oasisob1 says:

    This sucks. I have always hated bigotry, but I really love that chicken!

  21. Boundegar says:

     I disagree, that comment is absolutely homophobic.  Furthermore, it’s hardly his first offense.  The corporation has a history of funding anti-gay causes and politicians.

    It’s nice you found a dictionary that supports your point of view.  But it doesn’t make discrimination go away.

  22. Boundegar says:

     I disagree, that comment is absolutely homophobic.  Furthermore, it’s hardly his first offense.  The corporation has a history of funding anti-gay causes and politicians.

    It’s nice you found a dictionary that supports your point of view.  But it doesn’t make discrimination go away.

  23. Navin_Johnson says:

    o.t.i.o.

  24. redesigned says:

    they seemed pretty confused with their theophobic non-point…being against some a-holes homophobic stance isn’t being against all religions, or even the religion of the a-holes, or even the a-holes themselves, just against their homophobic stance.

    looks like their ridiculous comment was just removed.  good riddance.

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