Case of the upside-down woman in the emergency room

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35 Responses to “Case of the upside-down woman in the emergency room”

  1. theophrastvs says:

    “A 7-foot-man walked into an emergency room dangling a 5-foot-woman by her feet.”  you see the two foot difference was necessary so that he he’d have them to walk in on.  bwahaha-snort… snort.

  2. bcsizemo says:

    Good thing she had him as a husband.  My wife is only an inch shorter than I am, I’d be in a world of trouble if this happened.

    • Bobsyeruncle says:

      Get her knees hooked around your shoulder.  We can’t all be 7 feet, but we can still approach the problem creatively.  Heck, I wonder if a fireman’s carry would have worked.

  3. princessalex says:

    –  “Out of my way,” said Jason, pushing us aside to get to Mary’s feet.
    “I told you this would happen.” The big man grabbed Mary’s ankles and pulled them up in the air. Moments after Mary was upside down again, the heart monitor resumed steadily beeping. —

    I love stories where doctors and scientists have to turn everything they know on its head to find the answer.  :D

  4. IamInnocent says:

    How did they find out how to fix her temporarily ?

    • Textuality says:

       It’s in the article.  A very risky process of elimination. :)

      • IamInnocent says:

        Thanks. Let me rephrase then: how come that he picked her up, in a manner of speaking, by her ankles after she felt from bed ? Is that the natural thing to do, something that had become customary for them whenever no term of endearment will suffice ? I mean, there could be an even better story here, one of love, of fierce passion, of living one’s coupled difference to the fullest even ! Who can tell ?

        • allotrope says:

          When somebody faints it’s common procedure to prop up the legs on something. Perhaps that’s what he set out to, except he lifted them up instead and she temporarily revived.

  5. Teller says:

    I’d pass out if I came across an upright woman.
    bada-boom!

  6. It’s funny how everybody, including Mary, talks about “fixing her up,” as if she were some kind of robot.

    • ldobe says:

       Well….They did fix up the robot implanted in her chest…. :-]

    • CH says:

      Not robot… cyborg!

    • cdh1971 says:

       We three kings of Orient are 
      Bearing gifts we traverse afar. 
      Field and fountain, moor and mountain, 
      Following yonder star. 

      O star of wonder, star of night, 
      Star with royal beauty bright, 
      Westward leading, still proceeding, 
      Guide us to thy perfect Light. 

      • Antinous / Moderator says:

        Myrrh is mine.
        Its bitter perfume
        Breathes a life of gathering gloom.
        Sorrowing
        Sighing
        Bleeding
        Dying
        Sealed in the stone cold tomb.

        • cdh1971 says:

          I appreciate the symmetry of this hymn.

          Ahh-ah-ah-ah, bitter dregs.

        • bklynchris says:

          OK, now you have to tell me if you knew that verse by heart (no pun intended here) or you googled it.  If the former, were you forced to be in the church choir too?  One of my fave songs though, hymnal wise.

          • Antinous / Moderator says:

            I knew it by heart. Despite being raised without religion, I was in the Christmas pageant when I was in grammar school and know all the verses to several dozen Christmas hymns.

            I always volunteer to sing the myrrh verse after I’ve had a martini. After three or four martinis, it’s Rudolph the Big-Dicked Reindeer, Crusty the Cum Rag and I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa’s Balls.

      • Charlie B says:

         OK, message received.  The agents are in place.

  7. Mister44 says:

    Read this in  my magazine. It seems unbelievable something like that could happen. I am glad her husband was who he was or she might have been a gonner.

    • ocker3 says:

       Thing is, as long as a person was strong enough, they could have used a modified fireman’s carry, that would kept her torso upside down enough, perhaps

      • GoatLordMessiah says:

        Why not strap the women to a ladder that is fixed to a trolley?
        Crude demonstration like so:

        |  
        |- -
        |       _
        |     | |
        |      |  
        |  –|__  
        |     |        
        |     +        
        |                - —-| 
        |———-|—–|
        |                        |
        +—————-+
        |—————–|
        0*************0

  8. Joe Seatter says:

    Damn.  Now my pacemaker problem doesn’t seem so bad.  Depending on my position the bottom lead triggers my diaphram as well:  60bpm hiccups. 

  9. lilinski says:

    I wonder how the idea first occurred to Mary and Jason to dangle her upside down by her feet.

  10. Halloween_Jack says:

    If she’s in her mid-sixties and she’s with a seven-foot man that’s strong enough to pick her up by her ankles… no wonder she’s got heart palpitations. Hey-yo!

  11. jeligula says:

    Here in the Treasure Valley of Idaho (Boise, Nampa, etc), the population center of the entire state, she would be told that they would be able to get her in to see a specialist in two months.  Meanwhile, remain upside down.

  12. Troy Bennett says:

    I just want to point out that nowhere on the internet are the comments as absolutely made of gold as on boingboing. High quality stuff.

  13. hyljelyhje says:

    They left out the most interesting bit: how the surgery was performed?

  14. Charlie B says:

    If your lungs are filled halfway up with blood, and you lay down, the blood rolls up and blocks your breathing, and it feels just like drowning.  So you have to sleep propped up so you can’t fall over, or you wake up in a panic, dreaming of ox-eyed Halie and coughing blood.

    If you have a hole in your lung and air’s entering the chest cavity and your lung’s collapsing, you can roll around on the ground until gravity presses the hole up against the chest wall, so that it’s kind of sealed.  If you haven’t any burly friends handy, you can then roll back and forth in time with your breathing and reinflate the lung – unless it’s a tension pneumothorax (where a flap of tissue is acting like a one-way valve) in which case doing this will most likely kill you.  If you do have burly friends handy, once you get the hole sealed you can have them carry you to the hospital for a chest tube.

    In my case, the hole was near the top of the lung and I was alone, so I used a child’s see-saw to reinflate it, which enraged my physician.  He would have preferred I had someone carry me upside down to the hospital, and lectured me extensively on the subjects of tension pneumothorax and refusing to carry a cell phone.

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